Horses and Pregnancy/Babies

[JosieSmith1]

Does anyone on here have a horse and is pregnant or has a newborn?

The reason I am asking is that my new hubby and I are thinking about trying for a baby but we have a horse and I'm worried that we;ll struggle, both financially and time-wise. I have some emotional issues to deal with and I have posted seperately about those.

I just wanted to ask how people manage both, or did they have to give up their horse to start a family? This might sound incredibly selfish but I've always been a horse person and the horse I have now is the first I've ever owned and it really is a dream come true for me, and I don't want to have to give it up to have a family.

If anyone does manage, can you give me some ideas on how it'll work, both during later pregnancy and once the baby is born, to being back at work full time and managing young child and horse.

Thanks

Loan your horse, then you can have it back when you are ready. It will also be well exercised and not bored. You could theoretically put it out to pasture, but loaning takes away some of the bills and ensures it it still yours. You are bound to find someone you like to loan it to, because from the sound of it you wouldn't dream of letting it go anywhere else!

Or, allow a local teenager rides for mucking out etc, and then you take away the hard work. Or does your husband ride? If he does then keep it and he can work the horse.

:-)

I have been considering loaning her out. She's low maintenance as she's older and is suspected to be suffering from arthritis though it's very mild at the minute. So she's currently ridden three-four times a week at the most and it's just short hacks, so I can probably find someone at the yard to ride her (although I'll struggle with jealousy but if it's better for her than so be it). Hubby doesn't ride but said he would if it helped me relax a bit, though he'd have to lose weight, but we both need to start eating more healthily anyway so that wouldn't be a bad thing.

Phew - lots of questions but great that you're thinking about all of these things already .

I've had my girlie for 9 years now, have a 20 month DD and work full time so I can give you a little insight into how it's worked for me.

Pre-baby I was riding about 5 times a week, competitions at weekends etc. etc. When I fell pregnant with DD I had already put my mare in-foal so the decision on whether or not to ride was out of my hands. However, me being ready to get back in the saddle happily coincided with the foal being weaned so it worked out rather nicely. The youngster has since been turned away & comes in occasionally to learn some manners, but is otherwise pretty low maintenance.

While I was on mat leave setting a routine really helped me. I keep my mare on DIY-assisted livery so the yard turn out for me and I do everything else. I aimed to get to the stables for 9:30 every morning and again at 4pm which worked brilliantly in training DD to nap at those times. It also stopped me from getting cabin-fever from being cooped-up in the house for days.
I also have a brilliant & understanding yard-owner who let me park my car close to the stable so I could hear DD if she ever woke up. YO would also babysit at least once a week while I went for a ride which had the added benefit of getting DD used to being left with other people.

Now that I'm back at work the yard turn out & bring in so I only need to go up once a day. I always go in the evening, sometimes with DD & sometimes not (DH does bedtime & one day a week does the nursery pick-up which really helps). I get to ride about twice a week but could manage more if I was a bit better disciplined.

I love being at the stables & find I get really ratty if I don't get my quota or riding in - it really is my stress relief. Being around horses has also been great for DD - it's practically her second home & she loves it there. She has her own wheelbarrow & tools, loves watching & patting the horses as well as playing with the cats & dogs and chasing the chickens....she's turned into a real out-doorsey, rough-and-tumble toddler which, in my book, is brilliant. One day I expect she'll want her own pony & I can't wait .

If you can cope financially with keeping the horse then do it - there are ways and means of making it work and it doesn't have to cost the earth. Plus, being outdoors & in the fresh air will be good for both you and your baby.

So, now I'm expecting DC2 (8+3 weeks) and have already decided to turn my girlie away as soon as I feel too big/uncomfortable to ride. She's 17 now so a winter off will do her good - she's a horse after all, standing in a field & eating is what horses do .

Quite a lot of waffle there but hope it helps. Good luck with whatever you decide and keep us posted.

That's brill CluckyKate, exactly what I was after! My horse is 21 and has suspected arthritis so I'm going to discuss with the vet the consequences of turning her away as obviously the less she's ridden the stiffer she'll get, but if the vet thinks she'll be ok then I'll be fine with it too. I might feel differently when it happens, but at the minute I think I'd be happy to continue riding until I'm too big to do it comfortably.

I only ride three times max per week so she doesn't take up a great deal of time, and someone at the yard has said they could ride her maybe once a fortnight to keep her ticking over a bit. Eventually she'll be retiring completely from ridden work so when that happens things'll get much easier, but until then I need my fix of riding, as you mentioned too! DH works shifts and does quite a few early finishes so he could look after the baby while I ride, other nights when I'm just bringing in or feeding, baby could come with me, I agree it's good for yours and baby's health to be out in the fresh air, plus it'll help shift the baby blubber!

Thanks very much!

Josie - sounds like your horse is at the perfect stage to offer you some relief from family life without you feeling you're letting her down by not working her enough.

My decision to start a family was directly influenced (time wise at least) by my boy becoming arthritic and definitely winding down in work. I had trouble conceiving so by the time I was pregnant (with twins!) he was completely retired, but I was riding other horses and still looking after him. I gave up riding quite early in my pregnancy as I got very big, very fast but have done a 20 mile endurance ride with my 6-month pregnant friend (our time was rubbish as she kept having to stop to pee!)

Sadly my old boy was put down just before my new boys arrived, but thankfully I still have a horse to ride twice a week - it can be difficult to fit in, but DH helps make sure it happens as everyone accepts it makes me a much nicer person (and a much better mum). I now have a savings account and a plan for a new horse when the boys start school.

Financially we might have struggled a bit if I was still paying livery fees - I've reduced my hours to a 4 day week and have nursery fees for 2 babies looming. We also feel we have outgrown this 2-bed flat. But my going out/new clothes budget has been slashed and almost all our equipment/baby clothes have been second hand or presents. I'm sure you can work out your finances to manage - it sounds like your DH realises what your horse means to you which will help. I made it clear to mine very early on how much I was prepared to forfeit to have a horse - also a dream come true for me.

Thanks Rattling, that makes me feel better as most of mine and DH's families aren't interested in horses and seem to think I'm being selfish not wanting to give her up. They haven't said as much but the disapproving looks I get when I mention it makes it pretty clear!

DH does realise that I'm a much nicer person when I can ride too! I'm always happy when I come back from a ride, and less irritable, so it makes sense that when we've got a small baby and I'm tired and stressed out, going for a ride will sort me out.

We were in two minds about buying her as we knew this time would come but we did decide that she was near retirement and didn't need much exercise so we decided to go for it, rather than buying a younger horse for me to compete that would have taken more work.

Don't get me started on the in-laws. Mine don't approve at all and, every time we see them, ask whether I'm selling the youngster - the answer is no, has always been no and always will be no .
Last time they came to stay FIL dared to suggest that I could get good money for horse-meat - ha ha, very funny....NOT. Had total sense of humour failure which they put down to pregnancy hormones .