Need to vent ... SIL confusing hell out of my niece

[MumOnaMission]

My niece is just coming up to 3. She starts nursery in September and has to be potty trained for then. She is so willing to get on with it but her mum just keeps holding her back. Niece recently stayed with her Grandma for 4 days and when SIL spoke to her on the phone she came off the phone chuffed to bits saying that she was toilet trained and hadn't had a nappy on the whole time. Within an hour of being back home she had a nappy on. They took her out the next day with no nappy on and she weed in the back of the car and my BIL called her a dirty little sod. They take no notice of her when she starts jigging about and holding herself. The other day she had a nappy on and she asked for a wee so her mum just said "you've got a nappy on". I think the poor mite is getting so confused. I keep trying to tactfully give her tips but she just agrees with me and then carries on in her own way. I'm getting so frustrated AARRRRGGHHH.

Oh, this is so sad.
I can appreciate that it is a worry, the thought of potty training a child, but the little girl sounds desperate to try.
They will give her a complex if they call her names when she has an accident.
I can't offer any advice I am afraid, but lots of sympathy.

lazy parenting - they need a kick up the bum. stop hinting, sit her down and tell her that she's confusing the hell out of her child and if she pays some attention now for the next few weeks and gets her partner to support her then her child will be accepted at nursery if she doesn't then she won't

I think you're right mud. I'll try. Just don't want to cause a family argument.

Get her or her dd a book on potty training and just hand it over saying oh I saw this and thought it may be handy - she may then see she is confusing her dd a little.