Telling tales at school -- things our DC have told their teachers

[stroppyshopper]

DS sat a (late) school assessment today, during which he told one teacher, "My mummy will drink anything." She was so amused, she pulled me aside afterward to tell me. Didn't give any context, though, so I am still a bit perplexed, trying to imagine the conversation...

Still no word on whether he got in

I was told by a child in my class that her mum and dad had to buy a new bed because they broke theirs "playing tigers".

DD's friend said to her teacher the other day 'My Dad has lots of beer in the fridge - he drinks it all the time' !
She is 4!
Out of the mouths of babes

Dd1 told her nursery class that 'mummy keeps me on a lead at home'

wtf??!

And: "Friday night is beer night"

And: "When Daddy goes out and drinks on a Friday night, he sleeps on the sofa"

And: "My daddy's got a very big willy, like a snake" - twas very hard to face the child's daddy in the playground that day without making a comment

No family secret is safe!

Oooh - another one

"Don't touch my gloves. They're my dad's thieving gloves".

dd once told the whole class during show & tell that we went to mcdonald's every night for tea. and i know there was a boy in reception last year who, when they were talking about what a mum does, announced to the class that his mum trumped a lot.

DD (at nursery) said "Ladies give daddy money so he will dance with them at night time"

DH is a dance teacher - but he got some funny looks at the nursery for a few days

Ny dad has the biggest willy in the world and it is hairy. DD announced this to the whole class(and parents). It put dh in a difficult position, being the deputy head of the school.

In "Thread's I'm On" the first line comes up & I read this & thought 'who on earth is trolling one of my threads' ; I nearly hid the thread before remembering what thread I posted on last night

when dd was 2 her teacher asked her what did she look like because she was dressing up and dd turned round and said a tramp when the teacher asked her wher did she hear that she said mummy calls me it

the other day dd (7 yrs) brought her homework home and she had to write about what has changed since she was a baby and she wanted to write that she had a different daddy i felt a bit

One child in my class announced that her daddy put on a dress and chased her around the cellar.

He was quite a big bloke - think rugby player. Quite a mental image

A few years ago I used to bank staff at a nursery in uni holidays, and overheard the best conversation whilst supervising 3/4 year olds at lunch, primarily involving 'daddies' shaving' and general daddy hairyness.

Two gems overheard were:

"My Daddy has a beard around his willy, but he doesn't shave it though" - cute, so innocent!

and

"My mummy shaves her chest" - hilarious! Everytime that particular mum came to pick up her DD, I kept picturing her with razor in hand and a tarzan chest. was quite weird though as mum was very glam!