Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

I really dont think I can do this any more

11 replies

Kitsilano · 17/06/2010 21:30

I have 2 DDs - just 5 and 2.5 and they are driving me insane. Every afternoon I dread picking up DD1 from school cos from then on it feels like a constant, exhausting miserable slog. She comes out of school whingeing and moaning, they bicker and shriek at each other, tantrums follow.

Today I asked DD1 to put her swimming stuff in the washing machine - cue 45 minute tantrum and refusal.

There are constant demands to watch TV, "I don't know what to PLAAAY" if I say no (we have a big garden with trampoline, slide, climbing frame and swing). DD1 inparticular very rarely is able to occupy herself or play independently.

Unless friends are over to play (or they are watching TV they do not leave me alone for a minute.

The neighbours kids came round today which gave some relief but while I read stories to DD" because they wouldnt let her join in they trashed EVERY room in the house, unmade all the beds inlcuding my room and spare room, toys out of every cupboard in every room, by bedtime the place looked like it had been burgled.

They constantly compete for my attention often both simultaneously shouting at me and pulling at me. DD1 asks endless questions without really ever listening to the answer - just planning the next question that will keep my attention.

If I say no to something they nag and nag - no is never an answer - even though i think I am pretty good at not giving in.

DD2 routinely refuses whatever I make for supper and then is hungry and demanding snacks for the rest of the evening. Getting grumpier and grumpier.

As bathtime approaches DD1 in particular gets more excited and "silly", argues with every request from turning TV off to getting into the bath. DD2 gets more and more whiny.

I try to do their stories together but DD1 interrupts and askes questions constantly (and I mean constantly) in order to prolong the story so DD2 loses interest and starts playing up.

The only saving grace is that they are usually not too bad once in bed - though some nights I am up and down 2 flights to DD2 5-6 times for hugs, water, trips to the loo etc.

I don't think I can do this any more and think I am just screwing them up. They are nice children - intelligent, not aggressive, usually gentle with each other, sensitive to others - it's just their interaction with me that is so horrible. Going back to work is suddenly a very tempting option - just to get away from them and let someone else who is better than me look after them.

The worst is I know it must be mostly my fault and I feel so guilty and sad for wishing their childhoods away.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
StarOfValkyrie · 17/06/2010 21:36

You poor thing. I think you just got caught up in the daily grind. The more you want a break from them the worse you find them I bet.

I think you need to restart, and spend some quality time with them that YOU enjoy.

MakemineaGandT · 17/06/2010 21:38

we all feel like that from time to time - don't be too hard on yourself. You need to spring a surprise on them to snap out of the routine you have got into. maybe pack a picnic tea on a sunny day and take them somewhere after school to eat it - that'll be new for them and you can break the behaviour patterns you have all got into

FabIsGettingFit · 17/06/2010 21:38

Take a snack and a fresh drink to school for your dd1. Buys you some time to get tea for them and gives them one less thing to strop over.

limit friends if they can't play nicely.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

LyraSilvertongue · 17/06/2010 21:40

Don't blame yourself. Children are designed to drive you insane
The thing that springs to mind is that they're both craving attention. Individual attention, without the competition of their sibling.
Maybe you having individual quality time with each one (one watches TV while you do something nice with the other and vice versa) could work.

Kitsilano · 17/06/2010 21:43

Thanks. I think you're right about the attention thing. But at the moment I seem to be focusing on getting away from them cos it's so awful rather than spending quality time with them. Which of course just makes them more needy.

OP posts:
ABitTipsy · 17/06/2010 21:44

Do you ever great a break from the daily grind? Do you have a DH/family/friends who can take over, and I mean completely take over for a whole day, say at the weekend? It ounds like you need a day or two off duty so you can rest, recuperate and recharge.

Mine are 6 and 4 now and things are much better. But I remember your stage well, especially the after school whining and whinging. I am sure your DD1 is just tired after school. I allow my DD to watch tv after school and have a snack and just rest and unwind for a bit. I find she naturally switches it off by herself after a bit and plays/makes something etc.

Try and pick your battles, only insist on things that are really important and let the rest go. They are very young still, things will definately get better soon.

wifyhome · 17/06/2010 22:19

i feel for you,
did you try reward chart and if they are good youll do something nice ? eg swimming, cinema (try vue cinemas for 99p Saturday movies)

for bedtime- do they share bedroom? i would try getting a cd with bedtime stories..for older one and read story to smaller one for some one on one time, if they share i would try cd anyway at least older one would let younger one listen to it

i would cut tv tine to minimum i let my ds watch tv for maximum 2 h a day usually while i cook dinner and early in the morning..i found his behaviour really improved..
also i always have a snack and a drink when i pick him up hes always tired and hungry, i usually just get banana, harribos, corn things or apple, strawberries today
i did used to just grab some chocolate but that was making things even worse!

good luck

Divatheshopaholic · 17/06/2010 22:27

Im so sorry to hear this. I actually could write this myself. I have dd 5.2, ds 2.10. So very similar daily routine and whinging, moaning, telling tales, fighting, bickering happens at my house. I always live in groundhog days as i dont have family. I also often dread to pick dd up as she is never happy these days and terrible drama queen, and very bossy, and list will go on and on.
I just hope they gets better.
Im sorry, im no help. I dnt know why i posted either.

Kitsilano · 18/06/2010 14:31

Diva - I'm sorry you feel the same - but at least we aren't alone!

Thanks for all the ideas everyone.

I have made a resolution to try to be more positive, try more consequences for good and bad behaviour (stickers, marbles in the jar etc) and to try giving DD1 some 1-to-1 time which I think she really craves.

Oh and to leave them with DH and go and have my hair done tomorrow!

OP posts:
tortoiseonthehalfshell · 18/06/2010 14:41

Why don't you go back to work, if you want to?

Kitsilano · 18/06/2010 18:08

That is a good question. I never enjoyed my job. Despite having a good degree - I think I went into totally the wrong field for my personality. So it's hard to imagine enjoying going back - which I think may be one of the reasons I am a SAHM - if I had a career I loved I think I'd work at least part time.

I am doing an OU degree part time and hope that will lead to something different

Hmm.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page