At my wits end with DS always pooing in his pants!!

[louli]

Ds has been potty trained now for seven months but in the last 3 weeks will not go to the loo to do his poos and keeps doing them 2/3 times a day in his pants. It is driving me mad. I have tried to go back to the star chart, rewards, telling off and all the usual things but nothing seems to work. Any ideas please??

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Anything is worth a go I am just so fed up with this.

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Any chance that there is something bothering him in his bottom? Ds went through a brief period when he wouldn't poo on the toilet; I think he had a pain - probably a tiny tear after a bout of constipation - and the posture on the toilet made it more sore or made him feel very vulnerable. I brought the potty out again and suggested he try in it because it might be less sore that way, and it worked. Then as soon as he was not uncomfortable again he rverted to using the toilet.

Thanks Prettycandles will try that sort of convinced myself that we had done away with the potty.

Not a bad plan to put some cream on the bottom (my DS was a bit reluctant, we used nappy rash cream as he seemed sensitive, then he was fine). Also make sure he is getting enough water fruit (I always give prunes when poos are a bit painful).

Also with DS we used candles as a reward (don't boys just LOVE fire?). So every time he did a poo in the loo he got TWO CANDLES to blow out (we let him blow them out several times for each success). He soon cottoned on and would poo to get his candles. After a few weeks he lost interest in the candles, but still asks for them every now and then (I don't mind, less hassle than pooy pants to clean).

Also, I would not tell him off if he gets it wrong. Minimise the attention for mistakes "oh dear, that's ok, try better next time and you'll get a [candle or whatever]" - But REALLY lay it on thick when he does well. Make a deal of telling your partner (even ring him at work to tell him the great news as to what a big boy DS is, and/or tell grandparents/uncles/aunts anyone the boy admires and get them to make a fuss of what a big boy he is - but do warn them in advance otherwise you may not get a good reaction!). Try getting a friend to role play as one of DS's heros (Thomas/Bob the Builder or whatever he is into) and ring the "hero" on the phon to make the big announcement, and let the hero encourage and praise him.

I found going overboard with encouragement (for any behaviour I want to encourage) and giving no attention for behaviour I want to discourage REALLY works well for us. DS knows there is no payoff (no attention) for certain behaviours, so there is no point in doing them.

I mean "water AND fruit" (to ensure it was not a constipation issue)

Does he also take himself off to do a poo - i.e. go and find a little somewhere to do it.

After much of this with DD1 I realised she really needed to be alone to poo. Even now, she tells me to "go away" when I pop her on the toilet - and that's when I know she wants to poo. I had to let her know it was a nice, safe, private place to poo AND she would get rewarded for it.

Also - forget cleaning pooey pants. Get cheapo ones and chuck away.