Please come and tell me the good things about an 18 month age gap

[AppleAndBlackberry]

Am expecting number 2, who was planned and we're really pleased about it but my only RL friend with an 18 month age gap really really struggled and I'm a bit apprehensive about the whole thing. Please tell me there are lots of good things about having two close together!

My oldest 2 are 17 months apart, it was OK if a bit like hard work at the start, and has been fine overall. It meant that they could play together almost from the start - by the time dd2 was 8 months they were good company for each other. We had no jealousy issues, dd1 was too young for that, it seems that jealously gets worse as they get a bit older.
I like having children close in age, it's meant that it's always been quite easy to organise trips and school events and activities which suit everyone.

not all bad at all. :-)

Hi

We have a 21 mth gap and its worked out great. DD is 2.3 and DS is 5.5mth. DD has never shown an jealousy at all and I think this is because she was so young. She is so kind with him and he is obsessed with her. They are already starting to play a little together. I was dreading the first 12 mths and expecting it to be really hard. The first 6 weeks were like a carry-on film with lots of dirty nappies and vomit but once we got through the other side of that its been fine. I would aim for the same gap again. Only negative I can think of is that I didn't manage to bf for as long this time. DS was feeding 10/12 hours a day and I just had to stop at ten weeks as couldn't look after dd and feed him all day. Good luck, and try to enjoy your pregnancy. Hope this helps some

My 2 brothers and I were each 18 months apart, due to contraception failure rather than intent! My mum says the good thing is that you get the intense phase of infancy out of the way as quickly as possible but that it is EXTREMELY hard work and the eldest can get a bit neglected! There's an efficiency to it that's good - the children are at fairly similar stages of life and can have shared interests, clothes etc get passed down easily. Tellingly though, I have had much larger age gaps with my own three children because I couldn't bear the thought of such an intense baby/toddler experience!!

I did a 20 month age gap twice (when DD was born DS2 was 20 months and DS1 was 3yrs 4 months).

I have to admit it was hard work in the beginning, but now (they are 4, 6 and nearly 8) they play together really, really well in a way which friends' children with bigger age gaps don't seem to.

it's not that bad, and they are babies togther ..and as the youngest gets older it gets much easier very quickly...first 6 weeks difficult, but now it works really well (just in time for me to have another!)

THNGS THAT HELP - playpen, reins/sling/double buggy (depending on your prejudice, having a means of getting around on foot with two non-walkers is a must)
nap times together,

don't forget newborns sleep alot...

ive got 17.5 months gap & not actually found it that hard tbh, they are 6 months and nearly 2 now, & didnt have much problem with jealousy or anything like that, they seem to love each other, its nice having two little ones and hopefully will be able to grow up close & entertain each other. already @ this age sometimes ill see them making each other laugh like crazy. im just waiting to see if itll be harder when they both slightly older like with sharing etc, as my friend has problems with that 3 & 1.5yrs old but the baby & toddler stage, i dont think too bad

i would say having a good routine helps, also getting out the house, i am out every day in stay & plays & that kind of thing, since ds2 was about 3 weeks, cos i find it easier & better for keeping them entertained, otherwise ds1 bit bored @ home and if one starts crying or whinging then the other does, they copy each other

unlike just 13 i think the older one gets more attention with me, cs more vocal to demand it more whereas baby happy to sit there and watch whatevers happening, so he has ended up quite an easy baby, will sleep anywhere etc unlike ds1 but that may depend on the personalities
good luck im sure ull be fine dont worry too much

ours were 13 months apart and we coped fine. it was nice having them close together. they played together well once they were 1 and two.

theyre now 7 and 8 and love each other like mad. they fight like any brothers too but are really close.

the hardest thing i found was not beign able to lift the eldest up when i was pregnant.

congratulations

Thank you! I will save this thread

Congrats! My two are 20 months apart. My experience is this:

1. First 3 weeks: Hey, this is easier than what I thought it would be... DS1 had normal routine (4 days of nursery) and DS2 slept through most of the day...

1. 3 weeks - 12 weeks: OMG! I take it all back. HELL ON EARTH. DS2 is now more awake than ever. DS2 drops a day at nursery. No routine for DS2 whatsoever. I don't know if I am coming or going. Only goes to sleep for the night at 11pm after a lot of crying. DS1 watches Cbeebies ALL DAY. DS1 hitting DS2 (not hard though!) out of frustration. We all fall sick and I AM GOING MAD! IT CANNOT CONTINUE... It's all about surviving each second, each minute of each day...

1. 12 weeks onwards: DS2 finally starts to fall into a routine and goes to bed at 7pm so I get a bit of a breather in the evening.

1. 6 months onwards: DS1 and DS2's routines finally fall into sync. So things get massively easier. Also, they start to play together (and wind each other up too!). DS2 absolutely adores DS1 and DS1 is always looking out for DS2 (will ask for DS2 immediately if I go and pick him up from nursery without DS2).

DS1 is now 2.4 and DS2 is almost 7.5 months and I can look back on today and think 'hey, I actually enjoyed most of today!' So good luck, I think a close age gap is fab (just get past the first 6 months!).

I have a 20m gap between my ds and dd (3 & 1) and i've just found out i'm having another! Same age gap!

Today my ds said "mummy, i love XX, she's my best friend"

He doesn't remember a time without her. He sings to her when she cries, tells her it's okay, mummy's coming. It can be hard, but it's more than worth it!

2 of my friends have a year gap between theirs and yes the first few months are hard as Angel says. It is outweighed by the closeness and the funtimes and being able to get bith into routines as they are so similar in age.
Saying that they both said being heavily pregnant with a non-walker was horrendous.

I had a 3 year gap with first 2 and found it really easy after a couple of months as dc1 went to nursery and we got routine.
With dc3 and 4(to-be) I will have a 2 year gap, am really hoping friends were not lying when they said how good it is to have small age gaps

From 35 years into the future:

My sister is 18 months younger than me. I love her to bits and remember playing endlessly with her as a child. I think she was my best friend a through school, not that we aren't close now, but I didn't really have another close friend when we were younger.

My first is due in October and hers is due in December so, fingers crossed, our children are going to be even closer in age than we were.

Good luck .

Oh god yes it's great (they are both asleep ). mine are 14 months apart, both boys 3 and 4. They bicker endlessly, but they are also the best of friends, play together, love each other to pieces, make each other laugh.

As others have said no jealousy. It's hard, but if it's your first and 2nd, you have nothing to compare it with so you just get on with it iyswim.

You will have nappies done and dusted in a couple of years. They'll beinto the same stuff at the same age, even if different sexes (eg soft play great for a 3 and 4 y-o, not so much for a 3 and an 8 y-o; story books - they can both read stuff together with you etc.)

On the days when you only have one to look after, it seems like such a breeeeeeeze. We have taken to separating them for a morning or an afternoon at the weekend and doing 1-1 stuff with them so they get a bit more attention and it's a hoot.

my brother is 18months younger than me, my first memories are of going to see him as a newborn. I like to think his arrival 'switched me on' . He was my very best friend as a child, i can never remember feeling jealous of him. We are still really close now.

You are giving your children a fantastic gift, I really hope that I am able to provide a DS or DD for my DD with a similar age gap. Appreciate it is hard work for mum though.

It's really hard for a very short time.

Then they leave home within a year of each other and you can get a nice dog

But seriously, if they are in school years next to each other it makes life very easy. In a perfect world my ds would have been born within the same school year

My sister is 18 months younger than me and TBH it couldn't be better. According to my mum, it was hard at first, but in some respects she says it was easier because you got all the nappies, potty training etc out of the way in one go, instead of having to do it all over again. My sister was truly my best friend growing up and we are still very close. We have a lot of the same interests too, so it was like having a perfect ready-made best friend.

Word of advice though: my sister and I were/are the same size for both clothes and shoes, and have very similar styles, so whilst it was great to be able to share clothes (double the wardrobe!), we did have some sharing issues, so it might be a good idea to set some ground rules if this starts to be a problem for you too (obviously still a few years away for you though!)

And congratulations, of course

Andf

The clothes thing makes me sound really petty, I'm not, promise! I was just trying to think of potential problems from my own experience, and that was the only one I could think of .

lol at the clothes, my dd1 is now smaller than dd2, and dd3 is catching up fast with dd1. but dd1 won't wear dd2's old clothes, from her "little sister".

My sister is only 20 months younger than me and we are still very close 40 years on, we have shared houses and moved round the country together as adults, she lives round the corner now and we share childcare. That's partly why I wanted close gaps for my children, cos I know how good it can be with a sibling close in age if you are lucky enough to get on well.

It's fab... I much prefered it to the 2.5 years between dc2 and my youngest and if i was having another would have aimed for another 18 month gap (gone past that point though so all the more reason not to have another )

Some lovely thoughts on here, thank you. I especially liked "You are giving your children a fantastic gift" - nearly made me cry SouthWestWhippet (probably the pregnancy hormones...).

my 1st 2 are 17 months apart and they are like twins. They are very close, each have own room, but inevitably sleep together, as so close are always in same age bracket for kids clubs, ski classes etc, into same books, as similar agae could read same story when little.

I feel sorry for ds3 who is 3 years younger - the middle child syndrom thing is more for him iyswim.

I have no negatives about a 17 month age gap. In fact we wanted dc4 close to ds3, so that we would have 2 'couples' but it just didn't happen. dd finally strolled up 4 years late.

The first year is very, very tough.
The next 12 years are easy (so far).
They are best friends and they have lots in common.
However I do think it matters that they are the same sex. Friends with boy/girl have a different view from me.

nope, mine are boy girl and are thick as thieves