Well, I have DH and I have just had a very long talk about the reality of me starting college in September. We have realised that it will be a massive strain on our finances, DD's nursery fees would potentially rise to £500 per month & the petrol/maintenence costs for my car would quadruple, and then there's the course costs to factor in.
I had a niggling doubt about the nursery I was planning to send DD to. She would be going from a very small, cosy 'family-feel' nursery to a big impersonal feeling McDonalds-of-childcare type environment. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with the nursery care per se, it just felt too institutionalised for my DD. Not to mention the fact that she'd be doing the sort of hours that have her keeling over at home if she doesn't have a nap. I'd had this feeling but told myself that it would be ok once she started and got used to it. Now I realise that I should listen to my instinct.
If I defer my course for a year then DD will be at primary school when I start college which will mean that I'll only have to pay for a couple of hours of after school care for 3 days a week, instead of 3 full nursery days of 8-6pm. Plus the fact that she'll be more emotionally and physically able to cope with the longer hours 3 days a week. She's only just 3 and still likes a sleep of 2-3 hours in the day at home, so I was/am concerned about how she'd cope.
Dh is really supportive of my decision, and would have been regardless of whether it was to defer and be a sahm for another year or to have gone ahead with the course. I'll be calling the college tomorrow
Why, oh why is it made so impossibly difficult for parents to get back into education/work ? For all New Labour's talk about helping the unskilled (in a professional sense at least) into fulfilling & financially rewarding careers, it's a bloody sham
All in all I'm happy with my decision, I can see that it is right for the whole family, and a year is not that much in the grand scheme of things. I am disappointed, but not as much as I thought I would be.
Thanks to everyone who has offered me advice and support on my whingey 'help me!' threads . Keep your eyes peeled for more of the same in 12 months time