Tips for beating the 'worn out' feeling

[Cookiemg]

We have a 14 month old daughter who seems to be coming out of a difficult tantrumming phase I feel as though I am constantly exhausted and have been for months. She is not walking yet but is a very physical child and I wake up with my back, shoulder and neck aching from having to haul her around the place. I'm feeling completely ground down by it and need to find ways of sustaining myself throughout the day. She's going to sleep later and later because of the light summer nights and it's doing our heads in. My husband and I feel as though we are just existing and are constantly bickering. Any advice please x

Am very interested in this. Since DC2 definately get that 'existing' feeling. Was lots going on in our lives after DS1 so although was also exhausted it seemed more productive. Now just feel relentlessly drained and not motivated to do anything when we do get time to ourselves. So no suggestions but looking for tips to drag us out of it...

Hi mary,

I hope that we can get some good advice from others who've come through this feeling. I only have the 1 child so I take my hat off to you with two and feeling like this. My husband has leant a lot of support around the house recently which frees me up a lot but yet I still feel reluctant to do very much.

good luck x

Does your little girl get enough exercise? You say she is a very physical child - do you take her to the playground and help her play on the equipment/in the sandpit? Do you take her to the swimming pool?

Bonsoir she's not walking yet...

I know - that's the point! She's probably frustrated because, as she cannot walk, she isn't getting enough exercise, hence the tantrums.

If the not sleeping isn't helping, then why not get a blackout blind for your room? They aren't only for the DCs!

If you are feeling low immunity-wise, try a multivit and multimineral supplement (unless there's a reason you shouldn't take one).

Do you have any childcare in place? Sounds like you need a break. If not, can you get something organised, even if it's just a few hours? If you do, can you step it up a bit to give yourself time to recover (and remember to use that time for you, not for chores!).

Try doing something fun in the evenings, not just slumping in front of the TV (apologies if you already do this). It'll re-energise you and make you forget about the stress for a bit.

Hope that helps. I'm sure someone else much wiser than me will be along soon. It's such a horrible sensation, feeling like you are existing. But it will pass, I promise.

Good luck x

Yes, I make sure that we do a physical activity daily, she's happily romp around the park pushing her buggy, go to soft play and wherever we go I make sure that she can climb and freely move after about 15-20 mins in her high chair.

I happened upon Gina Ford's toddler book last week and she was recommending a short am nap followed by a longer one after lunch. I'm wondering if she could be overtired?

God, truthfully it just gets worse. We are on our third toddler now and I am tired and grumpy from about 6pm every night and no fun for DH in evening at all. I have completely stopped cooking adult meals after kids have gone to bed so it is kids left overs or cereal for dinner most nights!!!!!!!!

STick with one!

I find a glass of wine at 6pm is a false treat as is nice for half an hour then just makes me more tired and grumpy.

Oh dear. Babysitter 6pm to 8pm? And go to gym?

Thanks Watercress and Bonsoir for your answers, we have a blackout blind on order and we'll see how that goes. She's at nursery a day and a half a week and I work one of those days so I feel on paper as though I am really lucky. I'll certainly think about multivits and if it carries on I'll speak to the doctor.

thanks again

Hi Flum

I plan to stick at 1, always have done. I had our DD at 38 and have no inclination to have another....I know it sounds harsh but it's just not me to have any more.

Your mail made me laugh and empathise.

I get to the gym around two times a week.

Ta

Ah yes, I remember this well....and then I had another little darling and it became so much more interesting

Seriously, repeat the mantra 'this to shall pass' every fifteen seconds for a few years, ensure there are lots of opportunities for her to get tired out and don't be scared to sit on your bum while she runs around (ie cultivate your her independence by watching her without being involved in what she is playing with e.g. she's doing a puzzle on the floor, you are nodding away to her constant mutterings while mumsnetting).

It does pass. Of course a medical check up to check you are not anaemic may also help!

Hi.
My DS is 2 and a half, and I've been exactly where you are now.
Does your DD nap at all during the day?
I used to be constantly shattered, and DS was grizzly, because he didn't nap. Eventually I sussed he was grizzly cos he was tired.

I got into a routine with DS where we'd go out (park / swimming / soft play / anywhere to tire him out) in the morning, come home and have lunch, then I'd put him in his cot for a nap. He'd usually fidget & chatter for a bit, but he'd invariably drop off and have a good nap for an hour or so, sometimes more. When he napped, I'd try to relax / rest / read a magazine. It made a real difference.

It got a lot easier when he could walk, as the act of walking about used to tire him out more, which meant he napped better after lunch, which meant I got a better break.

Do you have a bedtime routine?

It does get better.
It got a lot better for us when I decided that we would all eat together in the evening. Previously I'd give DS his tea, then DP & I would have supper when DS had gone to bed. I'd be slaving over the hob knackered at 7pm. Now we all eat between 4:30 and 5:00, then we play / watch a bit of CBeebies til bathtime, then when DS is asleep DP & I have the evening to ourselves.

Chin up and keep chanting 'This, too, will pass'

PS Cookie, I was nearly 39 when I had DS, (I am 41 now), so I am in a very similar situation to you.
DS will be our only child. It would be nice for him to have a sibling, but DP & I are too old & knackered.