I am an intelligent person, so why am I so crap at this?

[roslily]

My ds is 9mo. I work full time, and at the moment I struggle with the weekends. I know people how they miss they dc terribly and just want to spend every minute with them at weekends.

I am so fed up at the moment, of getting up at 5/6am, of not being able to sit and watch TV, or drink a cup of tea.

I have no idea what to do with him. I sit with him on floor and we "play" with his toys. I stack his cups, he knocks them down, we bang things to make noise etc. But that is all. Then we move around a bit. I have no idea what else to do. We go out, but there aren't any baby things to do at weekends.

He doesn't like sitting for very long, trying to climb etc, but can't crawl or anything yet. So can't just go for coffee as he just wants to grab my coffee, eat the table, squeal.

I never thought I would be perfect, but thought I would be an alright mum. But I am rubbish. He is being funny about food, so for tea tonight he had cheese, banana and strawberries. Great.

I am so crap at this, and don;t enjoy it at all. Would love it if dh just took him out all day tomorrow. SO selfish.

Thanks guys. Dh has taken ds out for the day, although I am expected to use that time to do housework and school work.

Which I will get to when I just finish this cup of coffee....

You are not bad at this. I also have a 9 mo baby and do exactly the same things as you describe and I am an excellent mother (if I do say so myself )

There isn't much you can do with them at this age- I think they just need a safe environment to explore the world and learn how to do things themselves. As long as he's fed (and what you feed him sounds perfectly fine to me), clean and loved that's all that matters.

Work is knackering, being a mum also knackering, and having in theory to do all the other stuff as well eg housework, shopping, loving squishing organic food for the baby ;) seeing friends, having me-time etc. Pah!

I miss most the feeling of having nothing I have to do, and being able to potter. We take turns to have proper weekend lie ins, also each have three hours at the weekend that we can "cash in". PLus one night a week DH is always home so I can go out and do something else. I think it's not selfish to do this, the rest of the time I'm like the Mr Bloody Tumble of entertainers at home

Knowing I have the odd hour of time just for me is the main thing. In fact this is currently one such hour, while DH does the bath / bed thing. When dd is asleep we'll make a start on the washing up ugh.....

Ros darling you're a FABULOUS mum and I know having seen first hand (E from pink place here).

Your DS is scrummy and doing so well. What you need to do is kick that DH of yours into touch and get him doing his fair share of the childcare, it takes two to make a baby and he needs to grow up a bit and take some responsibility.

DD had a Babybel and yogurt for her tea as she threw her fruit on the floor for the cats!

Giving a you a MN squeeze on the shoulder (and a hug in t'other place)

You are doing fine. We all feel like that. Babies/ young toddlers are bloody hard work. It's boring and never ending. I often look at ds who is nearly 3 now and just think my god I am sick of playing with you... doesn't help that he seriously can not entertain himself for more than 2 minutes at a time! As a baby it was even worse, it was just so boring and you get so little back. At least now I get conversation (of some sort at least!) but I absolutely hated the baby stage. I loved him, felt very protective of him but just didn't really enjoy him. It does get better. I think I maybe would hae coped better if I had have owrked, at least part time. For me I found being around him all day every day just so exhausting, just moving round the house showing him things, listening to him whinge and not really knowing what the hell to do with him!

It's much better now as he can go out for a coffee with me and sit with a milk shake and a muffng and chat instead of grabbing at hot drinks and crying when he can't reach things he wanted. I do feel for you though. I always thought I'd be a really energetic, enthusiastic mummy but the reality and the relentlessness of it is often very had and boring.

Not a very positive post from me really! Just wanted you to know that it's fine that you feel that way. Get help caring for him when you can and don't feel guilty. At the moment I am counting down the weeks til my ds starts nursery school in September as it means for 3 hours every weekday, someone else will entertain him, sounds awful I know but I know he is ready and excited about it so it will be lovely for me to go back to work and not worry all the time how to entertain him!

Oh god, I have no idea what to do with them and I've been stuck home with them for nearly 4 years now! I find it incredibly tedious sometimes, which of course makes me feel very guilty.

Agree 100% with Caz10.

I do wish I had known that DS wouldn't always be portable and had spent a bit more time when he was young shopping, going to exhibitions or generally doing adult related things with him in tow.

You are doing a good job. It's crap when you are tired after a week of work and know that you should be delighted to spend time with your darling DC but it isn't how you think it will be.

I hate to say this but it will get harder for a bit,I found 18 months particularly tedious as DS ran around madly and quickly with no sense of danger and got really annoyed when I stopped him, almost contemplated going back to work f/t ( work 4 days a week) but now he is a bit older it's nice and I enjoy spending time with him.