SAHMs how do you avoid depression?

[naturelover]

I have a nearly one year old and a nearly three year old. No childcare, no family nearby, DH gone 12 hours a day Mon-Fri. Eldest about to start nursery two sessions a week only.

I can't seem to shake off depression, I'm not enjoying my life much and my mood is clearly affecting the kids now. I'm permanently exhausted and cranky. I've tried prozac but it didn't suit me. Am going to try and get some counselling.

I DO get out every day, I DO see other mums, but there are still very long days with the kids and I don't have the energy (interest?) to do exciting things with the children.

I'm now in a situation where I can't afford to work because I couldn't earn enough to cover the childcare.

Does anyone have any good ideas to help me get out of this rut?

I understand what you're saying about how it's difficult to find time for rest/exercise etc.

It is a difficult age. My way through it was a bit back to front. I didn;t specifically take time for me - I took time for me and DC1. I arranged a childminder one afternoon a week for the youngest, and I took my daughter somewhere nice. Generally, swimming, then a nice coffee shop.

It felt like sanity-space for both of us - and helped our relationship. She seemed to act much younger on the outings - but was then more co-operative afterwards (the end of the outing was always Dd saying 'we'd better get back - I think Ds is missing us' - which was quite cure).

Good luck - take care.

I Find that I have a two month depression period after adjusting to life being a SAHM I am currently going through this stage now.

I have a ds 4 and a dd 10 months. I try to make my life as busy as possible because I know with me personally it will pass in a month or two once I get used and settle back down. I haven't been back to waork since before ds but when I had dd everything went up in the air and once it settled I had a touch of depression.

Fairly radical but as soon as I feel depression coming on I go and do something drastic like cut all my hair off, get dreadlocks, die my hair blue something that I would not normally do to make life less mundane.

When my children were those ages was the time I found the most difficult too, as a few others have said. It's hard for most people so it doesn't mean there is as much 'wrong' with you as you might think. You probably find it hard to believe it will pass, but it does get easier like others have said.

For me, the only way to feel ok was to have people I could see regularly. I don't believe women were ever created for staying at home alone with children. In caveman days didn't women all look after the children together while the men went out together hunting?

There is also the adjusting to a new self identity after stopping working outside the home and becoming a SAHM. I think society undervalues SAHMs but you have to keep reminding yourself of all the things you think are good and worthwhile about the job of SAHM.

It does help to have hobbies which are just yours and nothing to do with the children as well, which gives you activities to look forward to just for yourself and adds a bit more to your sense of identity.

Is it possible for you to get a part-time job? Or do some volunteer work?

Do you want to be at home full time?

If a job was making you this unhappy you'd probably find another one, obviously not quite the same with children but there is nothing with going back to work if it would make you more fulfilled/happier.