I'm crying inside cos toddler wants Daddy all the time

[Janberryxx]

I can't help feeling that I'm being really childish but she suddenly just wants her Daddy. "Daddy do it!" is what I get whenevr Daddy is around.
He's working long hours so maybe she has twigged that she needs to make the most of him whenevr he's there. He has the luxury of just being able to give her his full attention and just play with her, whereas when its just me and her, I'm cooking, shopping, gardening, doing housework, laundry etc. Not much time to play or we'd have no meal prepared etc.
It's so hard going from being the one she wants and needs all the time to being "rejected" as soon as Daddy appears. Is this just a phase? How have you coped with it? Am I being ridiculous?!!!
PS. She's recently turned 2.

not ridiculous mine is the same story it really hurts because im the 1 who has to tell her no for doing something wrong and she see's daddy as the good 1 but doesnt realise how much we do for them and the partners for trying to keep house clean food cooked etc etc hopefully they will realise 1 day how great we are

I think you know the answer to this one, you have said it yourself!

She loves her mummy but you are available all the time, her daddy isn't so she has to make the most of her time with him when he is there - not rejection of you at all.

And even though you are doing housework etc when you are with her, I am willing to bet you are communicating the whole time - so although not playing, still lovely for both of you.

Why not ask your DH to take the odd day off so you can do nice things as a family? Sounds like you would all benefit from that.

Just a phase - don't worry. Put your feet up and let them get on with it!

Not ridiculous at all...she is a girl and her Dad is a boy....thats all it is I have four DS's and they are all for me....

She sounds very clever.

BUT she will learn how to be a good mum from you....she will see you doing all the work around the home and, later on in life, she will copy you - without even knowing she is!

Have you tried letting her help in housework and baking?

Please dont worry about this - she sounds a typical girly girl who will know how to wrap her Daddy around her little finger

Ever heard a phrase 'daddy's girl'?

It is a phase. DS went through them and I have no doubt DD will. For now I'm her favourite, but it will undoubtedly change at some point.

You are her mummy and she loves you very much.

Don't worry.

yep, just a phase. I used to get so wound up, to the point of tears when DS1 did this. He wouldn't hold my hand, only Daddy's etc and I worked so felt that was the reason, that I had failed him in some way.

But no, twas a phase an it did pass in time. I think the more upset I got, the more he did it!

Now he is a lovely 4.5 year old who can't get a 'cigarette paper' between us and doesn't differentiate at all.

As with all things, this too will pass

LOL, sorry for laughing but DD is like this and I think 'phew, a bit of peace'. Daddy's turn to occupy her now.

Come on. You KNOW she loves you. Isn't it just lovely to see how she adores the man you adore?

Also, she's feeling very secure in your love for her, so she doesn't feel like she needs to 'work' for it iyswim.

And she doesn't see daddy all the time, so of course it's the attraction. I remember feeling the same about my dad when I was little, but still had and have a very close relationship with my mother.

winnybella I agree. I think children play up when they feel secure. ie my DS was an angel at his CM's but a devil for me. I know that it was because he know I would always be there for him no matter how badly he behaved, whereas the CN had other children to care for too

It is Just a phase (Please remind me I said this next time I am bawling on here!!). But can I suggest you sign off a day or half a day every week that you dont do cooking, shopping, gardening, housework etc and just have some bonding time together.

Get a take away for dinner and have a play date just the two of you. You need it more than she does but it will make you feel better!!

There's probably the seeing-you-all-the-time thing plus an additional phase she's going through just now. DS did it (he'd favour one of us very strongly for several months, then switch) and now DD does it too (although she's more fickle and tends to only keep it up for a couple of weeks each way).

DS1 did this to me about 2, but it was while I was expecting DS2, so in some ways it was quite convenient! Daddy tends to have novelty value. And who is the disciplinarian in your house? They soon work out who reads more stories at bedtime etc.

Nine months later I am now being allowed to read bedtime stories again, so agree it's just a phase.

It's a phase. DS used to sob as if his heart was breaking that he missed daddy on a monday after spending all weekend with him. But he has recently turned 4 and now is very much into me

I can totally sympathise. My DD has always been a bit of a Daddy's girl, and much more so when she is unwell. I remember going to the hospital when she was about 9 months old and the doctors assumed I'd be the one to hold her when being examined etc but she screamed until DH took her. Last night she was really sick and for the first time ever in that situation was crying for mummy. It's only taken nearly 5 years!! All of that said she and I have a very strong bond and I am happy with our relationship. Unfortunately though DS seems to be going the same way and has starting howling when I take him from DH. The only thing that stops me from crying is that I know I haven't done anything to justify it - I just try to make light of it too.