Baby changing facilities

[Housewife]

Interested in people's views on existing baby changing facilities. Sometimes I have been totally shocked at the disgusting places restaurants, service stations, supermarkets etc expect us to change our babies in. Was quite impressed with the facilities at Lakeside shopping centre however and wondered if anyone has any thoughts on what's really good/ really awful/gets your blood boilign etc

One thing that really really pisses me off, BLOODY MOTHERCARE with no toilet!!!!!!!. Had to walk the length of Ayr once to find a toilet for my then being potty trained saughter could use. The very unhelpful staff of Mothercare wouldn't even let me use the staff toilet for her. Hence forthwith a really stinking letter went off to Mothercare HQ, respsonse, their Mother and Baby rooms are for just that!, so in other words if you kids are over 1 year old don't take them there. I have heard some of my friends say they have had to hold their kids over the sink so that they can have a pee. I think this is terrible, how many of us have spent a fortune in Mothercare. After that incident I've only ever been back in twice when my son was a baby/toddler. I now send my mother as they wouldn't dare cross her!!!!.

The supermarket car park is common battle ground at our local Safeways, but a thumbs up to Tescos, they have a Car Park Officer who makes sure that the Parent and child and Disabled spaces are used by the correct people, which I think is a great idea. Have been known myself to eject people out of Parent and Child Parking space, and have been sworn at on several ocassions, but I just smile and tell them to move!

I will now leave you all in peace now that I've had a rant.

BHS St Albans lovely! Gatwick airport south terminal by Boots wonderful! Room for the whole family in both.

I agree with facilities at out of town shopping malls. Of course they should be decent because you have no where else to go.
However, I think that we are in danger of believing that as parents we have certain rights to special car parking spaces, use of lifts, extra facilities etc. I don't think that we really do, we are just offered privileges by certain clever retailers. Those that do are the winners because as Joe says she doesn't shop anywhere that doesn't offer these privileges.
Changing the tack slightly, I have a feeling that alot of kids spend far too long in buggies in shopping malls. I may be way off the mark here and would be interested in what you all think. I know that sometimes it is unavoidable and urgent shopping has to be done, so the kids have to go to. Personally, I have always tried never to be out shopping with my son for more than an hour and consequently have had little need to use changing rooms or loos etc. Ever since he has been able to walk, I have gone shopping without his buggy so that we go at his pace and he has the opportunity for some exercise too. Clothes shopping and really heavy duty food shopping I try to do late night or at the weekend without him or on the internet. I just think that shopping is really boring for kids.

Hi Fionola, I think you've asked some very pertinent questions about children and shopping.

Yes, I'm sure children find long periods of shopping extremely boring. My 2 year old looks daggers at me as soon as I wheel him into a clothes shop.

I my case I have very little shopping time alone. I work full time - and well away from any major shopping centre. Supermarket shoping I do alone in my lunch hour or very quickly on my way back form work. My early evenings are spent getting my two children to bed. My first free weekday time it after 9.00. If only Bluewater or the West End shops were open to the early hours of the morning! Every now and again I would love a spot of late, late, night shopping. In my dreams...

So that leaves me with the weekend for major clothes shopping etc. I don't spend lots of time shopping (havn't got unlimited funds!) but when I do need something, I have made a point of taking both my children with me - I feel we spend so much of the week apart, that I couldn't justify not seeing them for long stretches of the weekend. I also feel that they need to realise that not all the activites we do are centered around them.

Bluewater scores highly in one area. My 7 year old son is very partial to the playclub there - they have a fine array of computers. So he's happy to be left there for a few hours - and then he joins me later.

However, I'm a West End girl at heart so I do like to take them to the 'big shops up town'. Yes, it's boring for them at times, but we make a bargain in advance: I'm 'allowed' to go to three shops, but then we have a look in Hamleys, go to a favouite cafe, even pop into a museum etc whatever we agree on. (I also make a point of doing free or cheap things with them as much as I can, so they are not being given large bribes. We will agree to look in a toy shop, but not to inevitably buy something from it. I say to my son looking is good for birthday present ideas). Then it's my turn again for, say, another two shops - and so we go on. My 7 year old keeps a very strict count!

As for getting toddlers out of buggies, I'm amazed and very impressed that you can go shopping with a two year old minus a buggy. I could attempt this with one or two small shops but then my nerves would fail me, especially if I had to get money out of my bag while holding onto my toddler's hand. So instead I sometimes push the empty buggy with one hand, and hold my toddlers hand, so he can walk alongside me for a while. Also I have a another child to think about. There's no way I could say good bye to my buggy for long periods, and safely look after them both.

However, I do feel that it's very easy to let toddlers sit for too long in buggies, munching away at trash to keep them quiet. So I try to add a park visit onto a shopping trip. Bluewater has a good outdoor playground. A major pity they don't have a soft indoor play area to use when the weather is bad. And in the West End, Covent Garden is pretty good for some general running around and there's always the brilliant playground at Kensington Gardens.

Anyway, I hope this rambling reply answers some of your questions, Fionula!

Bugsy, This is rather confusing, I'm sure I was replying to a message posted by someone called Fionola - but it must have been you.

Harrysmum - I used to live in Aberdeen, now live nearby and yet I've never been to John Lewis's changing room - will give a go now from your description.

My vote goes to Debenhams in Uxbridge - don't know if it's because it's new (never needed child facilities in another branch) but there's a room with toddler plus parent toilets in, with masses of room for a double buggy, plus room to change the baby too if needed. There are also separate baby changing facilities with a soft chair for feeding which can be curtained off. Plus in the ladies there's a huge cubicle with room for a double buggy and I think that one might even have two loos in it as well. Thanks for the tip about Leigh Delamere Bron. We use disabled loos too because no way would I want to leave a child outside. Joe, hear hear about the parking spaces - there must be MANY more times the number of parents with small children then disabled people and it's a nightmare trying to get everyone in & out of normal sized spaces(especially when we're pregnant as well).

just read through the above and some of the comments are really helpful: I'll be travelling along the M4 at the weekend for a 'break' in London (Richmond). Planning a day in Kingston and now know that John Lewis has a good changing facility. My daughter's almost 2, and pretty much potty trained , but we're not trying pants until we're home from our little hol. Also, didn't know about the playground @ kensington park. Probably used to drive past it on the motorbike - a million years ago before motherhood! If anyone happens to need services on the motorway near Swansea, the Travel-lodge let me use one of their bedrooms to breastfeed as the only official facility was a nappy changing room.

Croppy, your earlier message mentioning escalators reminded me of something horrible that happened on holiday - we were in a shopping mall in Spain and the lifts were nowhere to be seen so we very carefully went up the escalators with our buggies and had just got to the top and off when we heard a scream and someone slammed on the emergency stop. A man had attempted to take a WHEELCHAIR up the escalators with a large woman in it; he lost control, she had flipped backwards over the TOP of the man ... and you can imagine the rest - it was not pleasant.
I have never used the escalators before to take the buggy up and that is the very last time after seeing what can happen.

Yup Jodee, I had a very nasty experience on an escalotor once when my son was 12 months old and I had no alternative but to try and carry him and the buggy down it.

Bron - I wouldnt park in a disabled space either but at our local Tesco superstore they have about only 10 spaces, if that, with the disabled on the opposite side. As they are close to the store if they havnt got people parked in them who just want to pop in for a quick five mins they have disabled parked in them because all their spaces are full. Time to get tough I think I will start parking where ever I like.

I would never park in a disabled space because you risk putting yourself in the same category as all those selfish childless people parked in the parent & child spaces. Even worse, the only people you risk inconveniencing are the genuine disabled. I think a better approach is to complain to the customer services desk - shall make a point of doing so myself this weekend!.

Croppy - I wouldnt park in disabled I would feel too guilty of, like you say, using one and a disabled person came along and didnt have a spot. I do intend to have a moan myself when I next go shopping in the next couple of days.

I'm afraid my reason for not parking in disabled parking spaces is purely financial. The thought of having to pay an £80.00 or so parking ticket is enough deterrant for me. As someone else has said, if only similar fines were levied for those low-down inelegibles who park in family spaces.

I think you're all taking the "parent & child" parking spaces as a right rather than a privilege - after all most people chose whether or not they have children (although no-one in their right mind chooses to take them shopping!), whereas disabled people have no choice in the matter. I get as annoyed as anyone else when I see someone without children parked in a parent & child space, but I really don't think it's as bad as the ignorant people who park in disabled spaces. I have to admit I have a personal interest in this subject, as my mum had MS, and often was not able to park in the disabled spaces due to these people. However, I hope I would feel the same in different circumstances.
I have to admit, I've been a bit shocked by some of the messages here.

I think you're missing the point - I agree that children should have rights, but I honestly don't think that parent & child parking spaces are as crucial to them as a disabled parking space is; it's a matter of convenience rather than necessity. Sure, it's a pain (and maybe even hazardous) getting my 2 out in a normal space, and having to walk that bit further to the shop, but it doesn't make the difference between being able to shop, and not. People with disabilities want to be independent and live their lives like "able bodied" people, and I repeat what I said before; they have not chosen to be disabled, we have chosen to have our children.
I would not like you to think that I am some militant campaigner for disability rights; far from it, I normally run the other way rather than get into a "discussion" (argument) with people. However, I am really disappointed to read some of these messages when in all other areas, the mumsnet contributors seem to be so reasonable and well-informed.

Emsiewell - I am surprised you are taking this all so serious, I thought we were all having a small, lightheated gripe about everyday things we come across. We all know disabled people dont have a choice, my auntie is also in a wheelchair with MD so I do have experience with the difficulties they have.

I do agree with you Emsiewill that the provision of parent + child spaces isnn't NEARLY as important as the provision of disabled spaces. I am sure that few Mumsnet members would park in one unless they were entitled to. Obviously you canno tcompare the difficulty of getting a wheelchair safely out in a normal space with the difficulty of getting a toffler out and just as importantly, the distance between a space and a store is infintely more important for a disabled person than a child.

I also agree that we have no "right" as such to expect parent & child spaces to be available to us. As I'm sure you will agree, it is however annoying when as a parent you decide to patronise a certain establishment because it offers you better child facilities than other stores and you find a selfish git in a convertible occupying your space!.

Well said Croppy. My Granny has Osteo-arthritis, and is now virutally confined to a wheel chair, if when I take her shopping to the Supermarket which is not very often, if there are no Disbaled Parking spaces left I just take up 2 normal parking spaces. We don't have many "gits" with convertibles, we've got the boy racers in the "sooped up" Ford Fiesta XR2, with a bean can for an exhaust! Mind you saying that we had an MG Metro Turbo before we had the kids and it sounded like something out of the Paris Dakkar Rally!, oh my mispent youth.

Croppy, you must be up very early in the morning what time do you get up? and what time do you get finished, think your day sounds a bit like mine!

Tigger my working starts at 6.45am sharp. I suspect the similarities between your and my working day ends with the early start. I sit on my bum all day and peer at screens - rarely do anything useful!

Completely agree about not parking in a disabled space - but do wonder where the planners of my local "retail park" - and i use the term loosely - did their research. The "park" consists of a mothercare world, Boots and M&S (now with food yippee) - I would say that 95% of the shoppers are mums with young kids or pregnant women. Yet all the big spaces directly outside mothercare are for disabled users - and in the rest of the parking they outnumber the mother and baby spaces 2 to 1. Most peculiar verging on daft - especially as there are always tons of disabled spaces free but rarely any mum and baby ones.

Message withdrawn

Full of Mumsnet riteousness on Friday, I popped into Sainsbury and did a quick shop. On my way out, having put son in car, I was parking my trolley and I noticed a woman park her car in a mother and baby slot. She had a car seat in the back, but most definitely no child. So as I walked past her car, I said "Excuse me, but that space is for someone with a child". I walked on to my car got in and thankfully had closed the door as she roared over and tried to open my car door. Thank heavens we have central locking as she tried to open the door. All I can say is it is a very long time since I have had quite such an earful or heard such language used in anger. In between hurling abuse, she told me that her child was actually in the car but I waited until she walked into the shop before leaving the car park, to ensure that no further abuse was coming my way, and she definitely did not take a child with her.
I'm not sure I'll be mentioning it to anyone again.