2 under 2! Any tips?

[lifeas3plus1]

So in September when dc2 is born, ds1 will be 17/18 months old!

Since ds1 has been born I've been at sahm so he is used to having my complete undivided attention and I worry how he's gonna take having to share me with someone else! Is he too young to start explaining about the baby? I do talk to him but he's so young still I don't know if he understands.

Another problem is that I have absolutely no family in the area and my friends would be unable to look after ds when iwent into labour so am thinking of a home birth but is that really wise with a 18month old at home too?

I am also planning on breastfeeding dc2 so any tips on how to include/entertain ds1 whilst feeding the baby.

And any other tips you can give me for dealing with 2 under 2 will be great! Also any baby items/products you couldn't live without.

( I'm on iPhone and for some reason I can start but not reply to threads so I thank-you all in advance, I will ve Reading with interest)

DS1 is 2.4 and DS2 is 7 months old so I had 2 under 2 for a few months! My tips (while I am eating dinner...) are:

• Get a good sling (I've got an Ergo). Today, I managed to go out and meet some friends for lunch. Then we went to the park and DS2 fell asleep in the sling while DS1 played and eventually got in the pushchair. DS2 seems to sleep a lot in the sling as we are out and about so much with DS1 (that boy has lots of energy and staying at home is torture).

• If you can afford it, get your DS1 into a nursery for a few mornings. DS1 was in nursery 4 full days when I was working, we kept him in there 4 days in the first month of DS2's life and now he still goes 3 days a week and in those days, I can catch up with sleep / chores etc while DS2 is napping. It's a lifesaver!

• Get a cleaner if you can afford it. With 2 under 2 and DS1 in nursery, I can just about keep on top of the laundry, cooking etc. It's great to know my cleaner (who comes once a week for 3 hours) can do the big things like toilet and help occasionally with ironing DH's work shirts.

• DS1 was 20 months old when DS2 was born. Don't bother preparing your DS1 about DC2's arrival, too young to understand IMO. Now DS1 just accepts DS2 as if he has been there all along... I wouldn't do a home birth. I was tempted but in the end, DS2 was born at just gone 7.30pm and I only had gas and air and I screamed really loudly for a short time . DS1 would have been really distressed IMO. Is there absolutely no one who could have DS1? When DS2 was born, my ILs came and took DS1 away for the weekend and it was fab! DS1 got spoilt by his GPs and we had some time to recover from the birth.

Good luck, it's great having two close in age. Hell for the first 6 months but it gets better after some time.

Hi,

Congratulations.

I had two under two (and will have 4 five and under next year!)

I used to say to dd 'where is mummy's baby?' and she'd pat my tummy, so she was prepared well in advance.

Yes, she was used to my undivided attention, but I think it has done her good to learn to share my time and attention. Both her and DS are more 'self-sufficient'.

She gets on quite well with DS (sometimes they sleep together and it is so sweet), although I do remember when we were getting her babygrows out of the loft to pack the hospital bags, she spread them out on the floor and punched them!

We got a present for DD from the new baby so it wasn't just about the new baby when she first visited us in hospital.

I breastfed all of my three and they all were perfectly ok with it. They were just mildly interested in the baby having 'mummy milk' and carried on with their own thing. I never had them fighting to get on me or anything like that.

I thought I couldn't possibly love another baby as much as DD, but of course there's loads of love to go round.

I'm sure it will all work out just fine for you.

No really advice as such as DD2 is only 2weeks old but i too have 2 under 2 as DD1 is 21mths old.

The HV said the other day that she has found the 18/24mth age group the best age for accepting siblings, although im sure the individual personality plays a big part too.

My DD has thankfully taken it all in her stride and loves to give her sister kisses and hugs.

I bought DD1 a few books about babies which helped her understand. I too wasnt sure how much was going in but knew she understood when she was rubbing my tummy saying ahhh cute baby and sitting reading the story back to herself.

We too have no family locally so it will be just me and the girls.
DH is still on Paternity leave so guessing the real fun will start on monday!

Hi,

I'm in the same position. DD1 is 21 months, DD2 is 8 1/2 weeks.

I tried preparing DD1, bought her a doll with some accessories but she just wasn't interested. I spoke about the baby and asked where the new baby was, sometimes she'd point or acknowledge the bump but other times she'd completely ignore it.

When DD2 arrived she just accepted her completely (with the help of a present in the cot when she came to visit) and is still great with her. I agree with angel, at that age they are still too young.

I thought the breastfeeding was going to be really difficult but again DD1 has just accepted it, I just try not to make a big deal of it, ie if we are sitting playing and DD2 needs fed then I feed her where we are playing. I also make good use of cbeebies and dvds.

I think the more relaxed you are the more relaxed both dc's will be!

It is a bit tough with the small age gap but it is getting easier already after 8 weeks.

Congratulations and have fun.

Hi, Congratulations

My two were born a year apart so a smaller age gap but it is hard work to start with but the benefits are worth it, now my two are 2 & 3 and completly diffrent personalities I have a new set of challenges but its worth it when they give you 10 mins peace to sit down whilst they play together

Get as much help as you can I had my MIL on tap and she was brilliant especially with my then just toddling 1 yr old, make sure your partner understands that he needs to help as well the first few months until ds2 started sleeping for larger portions of the night were tough

Don't worry about the small stuff and I used to read to DS1 whilst feeding DS2 the housework basically didnt get done

DS1 basically ignored DS2 until he started to move of his own accord he just wasn't very fun for him to play with there was a couple of squishing incidents and the odd poke but more out of vague intrest than malice or jealousy

Be prepared for them to be complete opposites and try and enjoy it