How much would expect a 10-yr old to be 'supervised' during a visit to a friend's house?

[fluffyhamster]

DS (age 10) was invited to the house of a friend from school for the day today. Not a great mate, but someone in his class. Another friend was invited too.

He got there about 9.30 and we picked him up about 4.30.

Asked what they'd done and he said played on computers and Wii all day. Said it had been a bit boring to be honest. He'd wanted to go outside, but others didn't.

It seems that the parent (the Dad) had been in the study when he arrived, and DS hadn't seen him all day, except for when he (the Dad) gave them some lunch, although he didn't eat with them.

There was no supervision of what they were doing on the PCs (in the boy's bedroom), or any time-limiting of wii-ing etc.

Am I alone in finding this a bit odd, and not entirely 'on'? Surely if you invite a child over you act a bit 'responsible' for them, and what they're doing?

I don't stand over my son & his friends when they visit, but I will suggest that they have a break from computer games, go play cricket/ football for a while, and I occasionally wander through to check what they're up to on the PC etc. I'd also eat lunch with them and have a chat too.

(I work from home BTW, so I DO understand the desire to get on with some work if kids are busy...)

I would be happy with that.

Totally normal and what I'd expect, to be honest.

Yep, sadly normal.

I would think that's ok, at the age of 10 then they are old enough to pick their own activities.

When DS (11yo) has friends to play its to keep him occupied so other than to offer snacks / meals / drinks I only get involved if I hear screaming (usually from DD who is being left out / taunted etc)

I probably would poke my head round the door every once in a while to show an interest have a nosey but thats about it.

DD (6yo) I probably would supervise more but she and her friends are independent little madams so actually need minimal involvement

The idea is the kids entertain themselves
so yes they might want to spend all day in the wii so sadly for you tomorow you have to spend it in the great outdoors

Oh - obviously I AM alone then!

I wouldn't let my kids spend all day playing computer games, so nor do I let visiting children (although they do spend MORE time than usual when friends come over).

I guess I am just a bit more interested in what they're getting up to. And we usually have a bit of a laugh and chat over lunch...

Wow.. Is that normal everybody? I would not be happy, really. I'm not surprised he found it boring..

My 10yo spends her free time playing out with her friends. They go inside somewhere when it rains/gets cold she will text me as to where she is. We live on an estate one friend lives in the next street and the other at the far end of the estate, they cycle between houses plus meet up with others. If they are in our house they get there own drinks etc. Generally they eat at their own houses. If they were to spend a day together and the weather was bad like today then I would have expected them to be on the Wii/PC/DS all day.

I am dreaming at the thought of all that unsupervised play, tbh!

But then again, I have a 3 year old and a 6 week old, so I fear several MILLION more years of supervision for me, then....

No, I regularly throw them out, and have them having water bomb fights, or dismantling bikes, whatever.

They might get away with screen stuff if it is raining or winter nights but at this time of year, no. I don't work generally (also work from home) if there are children around. I can't claim to do a great deal with them, but they are definitely supervised. Eat with them, tease them, banter etc. I am sure DS would rather I left them to it but he knows better!

My nerves and the safety of my poor house deem it to be necessary!!

We only let the children play Wii/XBox or on the computer in our main rooms, so no they wouldn't be allowed to play for quite that long. However I wouldn't trust ds's reporting much. He'd happily play or watch TV all day, especially with friends, but competition for the TV rarely means he is able to. I don't expect to entertain visiting children much though (at 9 and 11 I feel this is the children's responsibility). But we do have friends over most days (dd is very sociable) and lives of our own to lie

I wouldn't expect 10yo's to be supervised, they are capable of deciding what they want to do. tbh though I am lazy and I barely supervise my 6.5yo when she has friends round, other than to check they aren't trashing stuff or leaving dd2 out.

I don't supervise my 5 yr-old with her friends unles I hear crying. I do though, block screen access during playdates. Personally I don't like TV on playdates unless it's a really long one - all day or overnight. I don't expect other peaple to ration it though - and I have observed that many don't. Similarly, as they get older, I wouldn't want them on the pc for hours but you can only enforce that in your own home.

So, I would be a bit cross, but unsurprised. I presume they have some kind of parental control on the pc - if not - definitely yanbu.

Seems normal to me