There's never a right time to have a baby - is that right?

[BambinolovesBeccie]

I need your advice lovely MNetters. DS is 16 months old now and I always said that I would have 2 DCs as I couldn't imagine not having my brothers around as a child (and an adult) and want to give DS a sibling + I'm just getting over some post-natal issues (anxiety) and am rather broody again. The problem I have is that DH was made redundant almost 5 months ago now and hasn't been successful in getting another job yet. He got a good payout and I work full time on an ok wage. We don't go out much and don't holiday at all these days so our only luxury is DS' nursery - he goes 2 days per week. All in all, we are okay-ish money wise I think and I know that I seem to be basing this on finance but it seems the obvious question. Or is it?

It took me 18 months to conceive DS and I am 36. Should I just go for it? Is there ever a right time? Should I hold out till DH gets a job?

Grateful for your thoughts

Many thanks.

Just go for it. We could always do with that extra bit of money, but no point waiting, if financially you are doing OK.

Bambino - I don't think there is ever a right time. I suffered with depression after the birth of DD1, (not pnd). Thankfully things got a lot better after a year, but I knew I wanted 2 DC's and close together. I then worried that I wouldn't be able to cope with 2 and would then get depressed etc... also we were already stretched financially. However we deciced to go for it. 5 weeks after dd1's 2nd birthday dd2 was born! have never regretted it. I have bad days, and some low mood days too, but things just seem to workout, financially we still struggle sometimes but we get by, albeit with not so many luxuries! You have to do what feels right for you though

And remember BambinolovesBeccie, by the time you have had DC2 and are back at work, DC1 will be (or nearly) eligible for the nursery grant of 15 hours a week which will reduce your costs even further. And you don't need to buy much so the costs aren't much at all.

Am in a similar position as you want to be with DS out of work and 5 months pg. I'm really looking forward to maternity leave with DS and DC2 and having lots of help!!!

You are right - there's never a right time - just go for it.

Thanks everyone. I know in my heart of hearts that you are all right and there really is never a right time. I can see myself pondering for another year and like Cat64 pointed out, it could take a while again to conceive. Thanks again.

yes, the right time is when the eggs are there. do it!

Just start to try and see what happens. Do you know when your mum/gran hit menopause? That might give you a clue for timing too. I'm 35 and we started ttc #2 when DD was 10 months because I know both my mum and nan had early menopauses so I didn't want to not have another and regret not trying sooner.

DC2 due next week so there will be a 19month gap for us which will be hard work but I can see many pros too.

If you were to get pregnant it would be positive issues you were finding solutions for, whereas if you wait until everything seems brilliantly ready you might find the pregnancy just doesn't happen.

Lovethesea my mum hit the menopause in her late 30s but that was due to a hysterectomy - she'd had 4 kids though.

You are all talking a lot of sense. In fact, I asked DH today what he thought of the idea and he said "let's do it". I suspect he just wants more sex but hey ho.

there is never a right time. just stop using contraception and see what happens?

I'd agree the time is never right, our DS is 18mo and we've been debating it since he was 6months. My career is the deciding factor but it's so uncertain I just think maybe we should go for it and see what happens, after all that's what we did last time!

Hmmm.....I am in a bit of a similar place myself....

I am a 37 year old SAHM of 2 gorgeous ds - aged 6 and 20 months.

I am getting really broody It would be madness for me to have another but I just cant stop thinking about it

Its not that I want a girl or anything - dont care about that - but its crept up on me over the last few months and I dont know what to do!

I will be 38 in october, I havent lost any of the baby weight from ds2, it was a difficult pregnancy and now I have 2 dc not 1, my back is still bad from ds2, neither of my 2 sleep through yet!!!! and DH thinks I am deranged We cant move house as we are doing this one up this summer and its only a 3 bed.

Am I being silly? Should I just be thankful and get on with it? I am so happy I did not give up and had ds2 (history of mc) should i follow my heart again????

sigh.....

oh, and we've given all the baby stuff away!!!

I dont think there is ever a right time, my dd is 7 months old, I had her when I was 33, and not any earlier as I was worried about my career, maternity leave etc. Now I wish I hadnt waited so long, if I knew then what I knew now...... so we will start trying next month for number 2

I have no idea what that will mean in terms of our finace etc, but I know that we will survive. Go for it

Becaroo think you have to follow your heart rather than your head or no-one will ever get pregnant. I am glad I started this thread as it's re-enforced what I kind of knew but thought mad to say out loud given our current circumstances. There really is never a right time.

I too am in a similar position weight wise. I've lost half the baby weight since DS was born but I'm still carrying a good stone of excess . But, as my friend said, I can lose weight anytime - even when I'm trying to get pregnant - but I might not be able to conceive anytime.

So, we've ditched contraception and will buy some pregnacare today. Probably get pregnant in record time now!

wow!!! good luck!!!

DH not impressed with my broodiness....his parents only had 3 kids so thats "normal" IYSWIM???

sigh.......