Only children

[Over40]

Why do people always assume that:
A) Only children are spoilt and selfish?
B) I must be trying for a second as "who would want to only have 1!"

My ONLY daughter is in fact a lot more social and considerate of other children as she has HAD to learn to have these skills to have others to play with. I know plenty of "larger" fanilies where the children find mixing difficult as they can always fall back on playing with their siblings. But I would never dream of assuming all larger families were like this.

Why would I not only want one?? Why is two the "perfect" number??? Can't we all just accept that families come in different sizes and every combination can work or not work....

Hi over40, have you found the 'one-child families' topic - you'll find others in there who can sympathise.

Also, though, there are an awful lot of threads on here where parents of larger families lament the sorts of daft questions they get asked ('was he an accident' etc), those with only one sex complain that they are being asked 'aren't you going to try for a girl' etc etc. I think some people will make insensitive comments whatever & as parents we just have to have thick skin

(BTW I have an only by choice, & am an only myself)

my DH is an only, his dad is and only, and our DS is and will be an only.
Thats what we want, and its working out pretty dam well so far lol, we love the way our family works, i am from a family of 5 and we are not close at all, and we all have issues because our mother couldn't cope with us all, it wasn't fair to us.
i want my son to have the best oppertunities in life that i never had and tbh we can only do that by not having any more children.
I also have no desire to do the pregnancy/baby thing again, i found it horrible and had a mental breakdown, i won't put myself at risk of that again thankyou.

I am a only (more or less my s came when I was 13) I have two dc, there is nothing wrong with having one child just like any other amount of children there are advantages and disadvantages. Agree with Takver they have something negative to say no matter how many/sex/age gaps you decide on.

We have an only and are very happy with that, my sister has eight and is very happy with that. some people have made comparisons about our choices, I just think that it is our business and you do what is right for you and your children. I don't envy her her life and she certainly isn't jealous of mine.

Hi,

I have one brother who I love dearly but we don't see each other often due to distance and poor organisational skills. He in turn has three kids while I have only one and intend to have only one. My husband is one of three children and whilst he gets on with both his brother and sister, they can't stand the sight of each other............ So, basically no pattern whatsoever in our family trees with regard to number of children. Our decision to have only one child was made jointly and because we feel one daughter whom we love and cherish is enough for us. We realise she will need to get out and about to meet other children and learn social skills, but that's good as I need to socialise too as a 'stay at home' mum! People have repatedly told us 'it's not fair to have one, oh you'll change your mind' etc and I ignore the comments, I don't even answer any more but move onto another subject.
Remember, people love nothing more than to point out what they believe to be others mistakes..........