TODDLER TERRIBLE - HITTING, THROWING STUFF, 'MINE MINE MINE'

[wildwind]

20-months-old DS who used to be (and still is at times) the , moxt loving, caring, smiling, active little boy has turned into whiny, screaming, kicking, sometimes even vicious little child.

loves his new sister (12 weeks) and husband and I try and split times evenly and give him proper attention - BUT - started being decidedly horrible to mum. Kicking, whining, throwing food, etc.

He goes to fantastic childminder with lots outdoor activity three x week (10.00-16.00 but even there he doesn't share his toys and is aggressive.

IS THIS NORMAL - AM I DOING SOMETHING WRONG? AND HOW CAN IS TOP HIM? Don't want to smack or slap - but at times nothing seems to work. So far resorted to naughty chair but he knows after saying 'sorry' he gets hug and is forgiven.

Seems happy, but even there he started

Completely normal: he's a toddler and he's got a new sister which is prob making him insecure and cross with you.
You're not doing anything wrong.
You can curb the worst through consistent loving discipline and boundaries, but you will not stop him, sadly.

My dd1 would say "mine, mine, mine" so often it reminded me of the seagulls in Finding Nemo.

His feelings about his new sister are being taken out on you..

Give him a few weeks of love, consistency and patience..

He'll get there!

I think there is too much emphasis on discipline with parenting advice. The thing is if you teach him what to do by discpline then he wont learn why it was a bad thing to do, he'll only learn to not do it incase he gets disciplined. Talk, talk, talk, as much close care as possible.

Thanks everyone!!! As long as it's normal I'm ok with the behaviour. Just wasn't sure if they all do it. Seemed so sudden and scary.

Will try and be consistent and loving - he responds very well to praise and positive reinforcement (usually). Will keep going...

He probably just needs to know that over a sustained period he can express his feelings (even if they are in this manner) and you arent going to abandon him. That will give him super security in the long term and if you try and explain through calm talking at the same time it'll probably get sorted much quicker. A little smack just leads to a heavier smack, etc.

yes normal unfort! Still makes it very hard work and frustrating for you but lots of talks about being kind and why hitting isn't nice etc, also get him involved with the new baby as much as poss, helping with nappy changes, bath times etc. He will settle down once the baby gets a bit older and into more of a routine but is probably feeling a little bit put out by the new arrival at the moment! Also if the baby is crying saying things like 'oh dear that baby is crying again what shall we do?' might help him feel like he is the important one!
XxX

Also just thought there are quite a few kids books on the mums having a new baby theme which might help xXx

It is totally normal - don't do the naughty chair,just give him extra cuddles etc.