what do you feel when strangers touch your new born baby?

[chenge]

at the risk of sounding like im a terrible person i have a question,,my baby is 8 weeks and she is the most adorable mixed baby ever,she has this dark long hair you can run your fingers through and the first thing people do when they see her is run over to us and touch her little fingers,,her face and other,,

now as a parent,family and friends,,ok,,but strangers?on her fingers which she put in her mouth?and i don't know where that person has been,,and sometimes i am at a health center where people have flu and colds,,come on guys,,am i being a bad mom for telling people not to touch her,,i just started yesterday in a hair salon and i felt like the worst person ever,,so go on,,let me know how bad i am,,,

Chenge: I'm totally with you on this, I do not think it is right. As a parent the baby is your responsibility and everyone has different ideas on what is best for babies but they shouldnt assume their own way is the way you want your baby brought up. The statement by someone above that 'sociability is more important to a baby than hygiene.'
is total rubbish actually, hygiene encompasses a wide range of things and you would certainly not want someone who had just touched some raw meat and not washed their hands properly touching your baby. We have a 4 month old baby and we've always been protective over people touching her hands.

Doesn't bother me at all. I wear DS2 in a sling a lot which puts his face/head right at touching level, I think it is lovely that people like to stroke his little face or his lovely soft hair. I was the same with DS1 and he is just fine.

DS2 has also been pawed over by all the 5 year olds at DS1's school.

Having said that, I wouldn't be too impressed with someone who is obviously ill touching me let alone my newborn.

If its people I know then it doesn't bother me, If its a stranger I don't like it at all. I hate being rude to people who are being nice about my beautiful baby. I used to wish they wouldn't do it. I don't do it to other peoples babies even if I know them.

I think the only time I actually said anything was to a relative who said they wanted to rub the coins from their purse on dd1 for luck Money carrys more bacteria than shit (ykwim). I said um thanks, but i'd rather not, They did it anyway when my back was turned.

Someone on here posted that their mother put a sign on their sisters pram that said something like "please don't touch my hands I like to suck them."

Wish i'd been that brave

Im sooooo glad I found this thread - Ive been moaning to my friends for a few weeks now that strangers keep grabbing my sons fingers before telling him how cute he is - hes teething and everything goes in his mouth - including his hands after theyve been mauling him! I feel like Im forever cleaning his hands off - people with alcohol on their breathes - old ladies with colds and smelly people! - sorry it sounds childish but I would never touch someone elses child without an invite - especially without washing my habds first!

my point exactly,,very funny fizzyme

I know it's hard, chenge, but I think you need to chill out a bit

we're social animals and I think it's quite sweet, really

people used to touch my twin babies "for luck" if they hoped to conceive twins themselves - we couldn't walk down the street to the paper shop without someone pinching their cheeks and giving them a pound!

...just smile politely, then give him a good wipe down when they've gone

Na, I hate it, I wanted to carry a bamboo cane and give them a thwack before they conected

LOL @ OnEdge, If I ever have another I am going to atatch a badge that says

Warning do not touch! Highly contagious!

and giggle manically as they pull their hands away

I feel nothing. Germs are good. I think you are being slightly precious.

I don't touch other people's babies - to me there is something "protected" about them and you should only touch/hold if you are invited to by the parents.

lmao onedge and kickarsqueen, I dont mind people thinking im being OTT or precious, if a bamboo cane or in your face warning keeps germ ridden strangers from my babys clutches then so be it . Common courtesy sometimes needs to be squeezed from people these days!

I actually dislike touching babies. Oddly enough, I feel social pressure to pretend to coo over babies and sometimes that includes tactile contact. What a relief I don't need to touch them and am in fact not welcome.

Could not be less interested in other people's babies.

fizzyme, how odd to think it courteous not to touch babies without permission.

I haven't come across mothers who whip their babies away or wave canes if I touch them. Perhaps they are cringing inside. Very strange to be so protective. What could possibly happen?

Springheeledjack,if you read my other post you will see that i already decided to chill out,yes i will let people touch,but that doesn't mean i like it,,strangers need to be allowed not assume its a baby then its public property,thats all im saying,ask for permission to touch,they are not your baby,,and i anyone has a bad cough,i donæt care what anyone says or thinks of me,THEY ARE NOT TOUCHING MY CHILD,,period,as for the rest,im gonna smile,and appreciate that someone thinks my baby is cute,,coz whether people touch her or not,she is still cute,,

i still like hearing people's comments though,i was in church and i have no idea how many people touched her,,coz i decided to chill out,,,

chenge: dont back down from your beliefs. You are perfectly entitled to ask people not to touch her hands since they go in her mouth. Infact we asked a consultant paediatrician about this and he actually said 'yeah I mean don't let people fiddle about with her hands because thats how things are transmitted'. Some people have this idea that 'all germs are good and help the immune system' and thats crazy. Yeah it is true that some germs will be dealt with and improve her immune system, but not others and how can you tell? Best thing to do, dont let strangers touch their hands without washing them first.

Knowing how irrational I was after having ds1, I wouldn't ever touch a newborn without being specifically invited to BY THE MOTHER.

in case she stabbed me or something.

I don't really remember strangers touching my babies all the time.

Maybe mine were ugly babies .

Btw, I wouldn't have minded.

thnx Ben281,,my face does all the talking now,lol,,strangers should not touch,,period,,