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If you have children young, do you feel older earlier?

38 replies

CuppaTeaJanice · 25/05/2010 14:22

I'm 34, and have a 2 year old DS. Most of my friends are in their late twenties, or early-to-mid thirties, and also have pre-school children. So I don't feel particularly old, I've just entered the 'second generation' and still feel like a new-ish mum.

Then I hear on Facebook, and through friends in RL, about people I went to school with who have teenage children. I think a couple of them are even grandparents! It struck me that this puts them at the same 'life stage' as my parents who are in their mid 60s.

So I wondered, if you became a grandparent in your thirties or early forties when many of your peers still have babies or young children, do you feel older than them? Does becoming a parent young also make you feel old young?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MumInBeds · 28/05/2010 19:57

I don't know what counts as a young parents as several of my peers were parents before we left school.

I had my ds at 21 and my dd at 25 but my dh is more than 6 years older than me and we were married with a (mortgaged) house.

My eldest is nearly 11 and I do find that I feel older when my children have a birthday whereas I get away with practically ignoring my own birthday.

I had my first surrogate baby at 23 and looking back now I am stunned at how young that is for that kind of thing but it didn't seem it at the time and it worked out wonderfully.

MUM2BLESS · 28/05/2010 21:00

I cannot answer your question but its interesting to hear the replies.

I had my first child at 30. I now have four children all healthy. I am in my 40s and enjoying life.

I know womsen in their 40's who have not had kids for one reason or the other. I will not complain..

Women are having kids later.

I think I had my kids at the right time. As a older mother I believe I have lots to offer. I also try to be involve with what my kids are doing.

Its interesting reading some of the replies.

I think as you get older you see things so differently.

Those who had kids younger, what are you doing now the kids are older?

Lynli · 28/05/2010 21:11

I had my DDs in my early twenties and my DS nearly 20 years later. My DD had her DD at the same time. I'm an old Mum and a young Nan.

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PatsyStone · 29/05/2010 11:32

I had ds at 18, which was a shock, and it did force me to grow up and be responsible. I do not feel older though, I'm 30 now and look young for my age. I am constantly being told I don't look old enough to have an 11 year old, but it always seems to be in a good natured way, I don't feel as though anyone judges me now. I think my friends (most of whom don't have dc yet) look at me as a capable person, someone to go to for a chat and advice.

I am still with ds' father, married and we have a nice, secure life which we've worked damned hard for. I am at university now, and thinking about maybe having our third and last dc.

MUM2BLESS, I don't really understand what you're asking. I have had plenty to offer my dc and I have been involved in their lives. My dc are happy, intelligent and well behaved. I think if we all lived identikit lives, the world would be very dull. Sometimes life doesn't go as planned and most of us try to make the best of it.

slushy06 · 29/05/2010 11:49

mum2bless Read my earlier post and you will see there are good points and bad points about being a younger mum, There is no perfect way to be a parent only different advantages.

MUM2BLESS · 29/05/2010 16:06

Sorry if you did not like my reply. I did reply to cause any offence.

I did say that I cannot answer your question.

I was not being judgemental regarding younger mothers. I was just coming with another viewpoint.

I can only speak for myself. I will not judge younger mothers. There are positives about younger and older.

Sorry everyone......

slushy06 · 29/05/2010 17:20

That's ok mum2bless Time of the month and this is a little bit of a touchy subject for me I probably jumped down your throat to soon, sorry .

Gigantaur · 29/05/2010 17:24

My mum had me at 17. She became a grandmother and 37.

she is now 47 and i think she feels a lot older than people her age.

lilmamma · 29/05/2010 19:38

I had my first child at 18,and my last at 35 with two more inbetween,im in my 40s,and have one grandson and another due in december,and dont really feel any different from when i was 18,but do feel young to be a grandma..

I still jump on the trampoline with the kids,and do mad things,which i know my grandma would never have done..

supersalstrawberry · 29/05/2010 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Boohoo123456 · 23/05/2024 17:22

potoftea · 25/05/2010 14:29

We had our first dc when we were early twenties, and my dh looked even younger.

We got so used to being the youngest parents among dd's friends parents, and enjoyed that status. And dh really enjoyed the surprise when people found out he was a father of 3.

But now our youngest is 16 and we obviously aren't the youngest parents anymore, as some of his friends are the eldest child in their families, etc. But it comes as a surprise to us that we're older then others. We are still locked in the image of us a younger than other parents that it shocks us to remember that we aren't anymore.

How old were you when you had your son ?

Boohoo123456 · 23/05/2024 17:30

mumblechum · 25/05/2010 17:19

I like to see younger parents around but find it very rare.

DH and I were surprised on a day out a few weeks ago at how many parents of young children had grey haired/bald dads and the mums looked q old too. Maybe second time round parents, I don't know. I'm 47 and had mine at 29 & 31 so wasn't a spring chicken but I certainly wouldn't want littlies in middle age.

What would you say is ‘middle age’ and what age would you define ‘littlies’

Princessfluffy · 23/05/2024 20:42

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