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Dont know whether this is the right forum but

5 replies

sophiejoandbump · 22/05/2010 12:48

how long after you had your first child do you plan on having your 2nd
or if you have more than one, whats the age gap!?
And how hard is it the 2nd child compared to the 1st?
Thanks

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Seona1973 · 22/05/2010 18:19

There are just under 3 years between my 2 lo's. I found ds easier than dd but that was because I kinew what to expect the second time and was more prepared for it. Nothing can really prepare you for the upheaval your first baby causes. DS had to fit into existing routines that dd had e.g. getting up and out for nursery and that gave the day more structure. DD was also out of nappies by the time ds came along so that was easier too.

azazello · 22/05/2010 18:25

I have 2 with a 27 month gap. I found pregnancy and running around after a non-sleeping toddler was really really hard especially as I had SPD and major oedema second time round whereas first time was completely straightforward and trouble free.

Now it is much easier. DD is nearly 3 and DS is 7 months. They play together a little bit and we're more or less through the toddler stage with DD so only one lot of tantrums usually at a time.

Butterpie · 22/05/2010 18:29

My two girls are 2 and a half years apart. We won't be having any more.

I am finding DD2 easier as she just gets carried about wherever DD1 is going. I find the baby stage quite boring, so it has been briliant to have DD1 to keep me amused, if that doesn't sound too odd.

OTOH, all that sleeping when the baby sleeps and spending growth spurts eating flapjack, drinking herbal tea and lounging about breastfeeding goes out of the window. I am so tired some days I don't know how i keep my eyes open.

Plus, with DD1 we took her everywhere as a baby, she just slept in a sling or pram while we ran about visiting friends and so on. Now we can't do that as DD1 needs bedtime, but it is hard to find babysitters for a baby who doesn't sleep through yet.

They are loevly though, and I like to think we are getting the baby stage over and done with at once. They will grow up together.

My mum had me, almost exactly two years later had sis1, then 6 years after that had sis2. She says the bigger age gap was much harder as me and sis1 played together but in many ways sis2 was an only child, even up to now, when two of her children have left home and are out in the wide world and she is a granny, but she still has a stroppy teenager in the house. She says she loved having sis2, but she wishes she had had her sooner after the first two. Or had the first two later, more likely.

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fruitshootsandheaves · 22/05/2010 18:37

DD1 to Ds1 is 2 years (minus 9 days!)
Ds1 to DD2 is 21 months
DD2 to DS2 is 4 years 2 months

Having one is hard as its all unknown territory. Having two was hard too as they both need attention..but it is lovely when they start playing together..after 2 the others just fitted in. !

I quite liked the big gap between 3 and 4 as it meant the older ones were more aware and could be useful but it has been harder for DS2 now he is a bit older as the others are that much older than him.

ginhag · 22/05/2010 23:03

I planned on having 2 close together. Started trying again before DS was one. He's now coming up to 2.5 and no second child, but 3 miscarriages....

My advice would be - don't try too hard to plan it. If you know you want another, get on with it

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