I am starting to feel really resentful towards DS1 when we are out socially

[Saltire]

He seems to have no social skills at all, and I am jsut getting really stressed out with him. He's 12.
If I am standing in back garden talking over fence to neighbour, he will come out and stand right next to me, shoulder touching mine. he won't talk jsu tstands there. Then he'll come out with a random comment -"David Beckham is an idiot" (example) and stand there expecting us to join in. He then still stands there, and if I say something he will argue with me "no you dind't say that, you said x instead">
I then tell him to go inh osue "I don't want"> then DH gets involved and gets angry.

Then we also have situations last night. At a family function in the Mess. Loads of families, most with younger children. DS1 went through to tv room, but then came back because he was "scared" on his own - he could see us through a hatch FGS. Then he sat next to me doing the silly random comment thing and contradiciting me. I then had to stop having a conversation with adults and focus on him while he argued and winged "I want to play on the ps2 at home " . So I said off you go then, the Mess was at end of street, he would b efine, but no he wanted me to go with him. Then I mentioned something else and he started interuppting.
If we go to BBQs at peoples houses he's the same, hanging round me like a bee round honey, following me around etc

One of the women I was tlaking to said "He's very rude isn't he">

And she's right he is, but how do i deal with it in a way that doesn't make me look like an incapable mother?

Well, sorry, but I think SHE is rude to say that to you about your DS.

He sounds like a normal 12 yr old.

And she was bloody rude.

He needs encouragement and help with his social skills

so try to include him in the conversation rather than continually trying to get rid of him

can you encourage friendships with boys his own age? Have friends round etc?

My brother was quite like this. He needed some social skills spelling out to him, like "Why don't you ask X how she is now?" and that seemed to help. Classic moment was when he had spent 15 minutes talking to me about quadbiking and my mum prompted him to ask me about myself so he said "Have you ever been quadbiking?".

He's much better at 14 than he was a few years ago though, I'm sure your DS will grow up and grow into himself too.

He sounds like a lot of 12 year olds - a bit hopeless at social rules but wanting to join in with the exciting adults. In fact the last time I met my friend for a chat her 12 year old kept interrupting and contradicting her until she sent her away sulking. I think you need to step back a bit and think about explaining some social rules to him rather than getting cross. If you are going somewhere explain beforehand what you expect of him. Whether that is just saying hello to the neighbour and then going away or not spending all his time next to you at a BBQ.

I think at this age they are a bit caught at social events because doing things with the younger ones doesn't always seem exciting but then the adults don't want them around. He will get better he just needs a bit of help to get there.