On sunday night, I caught DD (11) looking at something on YT - when I came into the room, she shut it down very hastily but I caught a glimpse of 2 youngish boys kissing. She swore she hadn't seen it, then cried and said she had seen the link but hadn't watched the video. I told her about not clicking on any old thing on YT, we had a chat, all sorted.
As a background, she is our eldest, is very trustworthy, cannot lie to save her life and is generally never in trouble.
Anyway, she left early Monday to go on a residential trip, got back late last night. Tonight after tea I found her sobbing on my bed. She said she had watched the video and several others with an 18 rating and a warning. She is consumed by guilt and asked me to ban her from YT!! She also said how sorry she was for lying.
I did not make a big fuss of this. I told her we all do things we know we shouldn't from time to time. I said as long as she told the truth, I would do my best to discuss things rationally with her. I thanked her for telling the truth and for apologising. We talked again about YT and she is now only going to watch things if she has checked with me first. I'm not too worried about her internet use. The PC is in the kitchen where I am usually hoverring about. I often check history, she hasn't got facebook or MM - only MSM chat which she hardly ever uses.
Thing is, at bedtime she seemed to think I should punishe her. She says if I don't she will feel like a spoiled brat!!
Would you have handled this differently? I worry sometimes that I am too soft - a strict and shouty mother has made me this way!!!!! Oh, and I realise I have contradicted myself by saying I am normally around when she is on the PC - DS had woken up and I went to try and settle him - she is not often alone on the PC.