How many of you....

[scaredveryscared]

How many of you have said "never again!" after childbirth/sleepless nights-months with a newborn only to 'forget' or 'ignore' those thoughts and do it all again??? Also what were your reasons?

Only ask cos I said it and still think it (occasionally!) (DS 22 weeks old) Desperately do not want him to be an only child.... I am one of five. I hate the thought that one day my DS might not have us around and think that having siblings will be good.

It took me ages to get my head round the idea of having another baby and like you, I'd always wanted DC to have siblings. Now expecting no 2 so don't worry, you'll get there in your own time.

i said it afetr both of mine but definitely want to have more now and have done since ds2 was about 4 months old.

DD1 was an appalling sleeper and I remember sitting in bed at about 3 months holding her feeling dreadfully low and sleep-deprived. I had just had one of those horrendous split second urges to throw her across the room. (It only happened a couple of times and both frightened the living daylights out of me.)

Anyway as I sat there holding her I said to myself "Remember this feeling. Don't ever get yourself into this again. One day she will start to sleep through (it took 6 years!!) and you don't ever want to go back to this again."

After 5 years the memories faded enough for me to get pregnant again. DD2 was an angel from day one. The midwives on the ward told me she was a very good baby and they were right. She had a few health issues but always wanted to be asleep at night. She would wake, feed, go back to sleep. I couldn't believe my luck! DD1 woke us at night more than she did.

If I'd known I'd have done it earlier

haha! I was broody for another when DS was 6weeks old!! (and he, himself, was an accident!) By the time he was 5Mo, I was pregnant...

When DS was 14mo old, I had DD.

It was tough at first, but we are a little team (DH isn't about daytoday).

Now, I can't imagine being pregnant again, but I'm glad I have two so close. They are good friends already.

I knew I wanted another after I had DS and we had DD 20 months later. And that was it, c-sections and lack of money meant I knew we couldn't risk anymore dc's and my common sense got the better of me.

I said never again, and had my tubes tied 4 years later (they wouldn't do it sooner). I'd have had them done as part of the birthing procedure, tbh. Never regretted it.

22 weeks is far too soon to be asking this!!!

Have just had DC2 and am back in sleep hell. But having been through it onced before I know it will be over before I know it.

If sleep problems are your only reason for not wanting another, don't stress it. Having siblings, as you say, is a wonderful thing, and it's also great to have more than one child if that's what you've chosen.

Now, chill out, stop worrying and just enjoy your first baby!

SO many times...it did take me 3 years to decide that now is the time to go for number two.
Or you could be like a few people I know who thought that the early days were so tough they just wanted to get them all done and dusted so had 2 within 18 months.

Either way, you'll get there!

Thanks Ladies....

Al1son.... I've had a 'moment' like you explained..... very scary and I think I am the only one to have ever felt like that... good to see I'm not.

I spend 99.99% of my time adoring DS and the rest feeling frustrated and thinking 'I cannot go through this again'

Good to see a few different perspectives.

It took me almost 5 years before I had any interest at all.

after i had twins - i said never again and i bloody meant it.

i am an only child. polease be assured that i am not lonely - i have my own children, my dh , his family, the rest of my family and of course friends.

siblings are not the be all and end all - in fact i know only a very small number - no wait... i don;t know any who regularly speak to each other and actually like each opther - f course they love each other. if i had my time again, i would have stopped at one. one for my attention, one for my resources, one for my finances, one to inherit andstart a good life - rather than as now splitting three ways and starting a mediocre life.

I had twins and said never again too, DH had the snip within months

yep, i said it annd was adamant.

This was based on the fact that ds's first 4 years were daily, systematic and sustained torture to me.(For many many reasons)

He is nearly 7 now, and we have been trying for a couple of years for another.
I could not have coped with another AND ds until he was 5 and in school.

Now, we cant wait and i have a plan......

Now, we cant wait and i have a plan......

sounds intriguing!!!

No actually, I knew right away each time I would do it again. I had caesareans (3) - could that be why? It took me until dc3 was over 3yrs to accept she was the last...sigh...

Most of my friends were like the OP though, saying never again for the first few months, and they have all gone on to have more dcs.