8 week old won't sleep

[cantthinkofagoodname]

I have an 8 week old baby who has only ever gone to sleep in the daytime whilst being cuddled - if we try to put her in her moses basket she wakes and screams, so we have to hold her through all her naps.

Now she is refusing to sleep at all in the daytime without serious persuasion and just screams with exhaustion a lot of the time. She has dark circles under her eyes and I feel terrible for her.

she will only sleep on occasion if she is fed to sleep in my arms or if she is put in her pram or sling and taken for a walk (but as soon as the walk stops she wakes up and screams) As you can imagine it is getting exhausting having to walk her round and round the streets all the time.

At night she used to sleep in her crib under protest, as long as she was fed to sleep in my arms first, but it took so long to get her to settle and I was getting so little sleep we began cosleeping. However I've got the safety jitters about that and have bought a bednest cosleeper crib. But she willl only settle at night with my nipple in her mouth, which means I have to crane my back over the side of the crib until she drops off. She will not take a dummy.

Feeding her to sleep and transferring her to the crib now no longer works as she wakes up in the process.

Does anyone have any suggestions to help her sleep in the day and settle at night?

This brings back memories - I handed over the reins to DH to get him to help dd self settle. It took him a few weeks to do, but what he basically did was hold her (as if she was being swaddled by his hands) and then slowly let go (over the course of a 10 - 15 mins or so). When she was happy with this (after about a week) he then just used to put his hand on her tummy so she felt he was still there. Then a week or so later she started to be ok by herself.

DD was the same in the daytime - I did literally just pound the street twice a day (did wonders for losing the baby weight though) I went out at the same time in the morning adn afternoon so at least she would get into the pattern of sleeping at the same time. Probably around the three month mark she started to sleep in her cot during teh day - I just put her under her mobile when I knew she was tired, jumped in the shower and came out to find her asleep. I had one of those tiny love mobiles which was brilliant and a life saver for me.

Hope that helps?

hmm, yes lots of memories for me too. of DD who now 6 STILL won't go to sleep without lots of comforting. she was like yours when an infant, would only sleep when held or in pushchair with bottle of milk. I hated the crying so just held her! and she slept with me until she was 2. with DS/ #2, I swaddled him and just tried to send karma confidence to him that he would sleep well, and he is now, aged 2, a good sleeper. Wish I had persevered with DD, but then at least I have never felt i neglected her need to be comforted!

We used the co-sleeper with DS, and health visitor seemed to approve. Worked well for us, but ensured no-one had been drinking and we are both non smokers.

Good luck, persevere with little by little leaving her. There is a happy medium between leaving them to cry and being there for them constantly, you'll just have to find what works for you, and trust your instincts.

Thanks for the advice. Another thing that may or may not be related is that she is BF and for the last 4 weeks has had lurid green poo. She is very fussy at feeding and demands little and very often feeds, scratching my breast and hitting it if I try to encourage her to stay on. Might this have something to do with her crying and sleep issues?

oh and I forgot to add, the GP told me that green poo was perfectly normal for some babies, as was excessive crying and not sleeping. Is this right? I'm just desperate to help the poor mite!

Have you posted about the green poo and the fussing under "Breastfeeding"?

shall do.

DS now 16 weeks was the same at that age, he decided he did not like the moses basket and for good measure also did not like sleeping during the day, and if possible would also give up sleeping at night! He would sleep in the car or the buggy but like your DD he would sense when I got home and wake up straight away! I was pulling my hair out as he was so grumpy and overtired he would just scream and scream.

I developed a system where I would try to settle him, and if that wasn't working but he was obviously tired, just chucking him in the buggy and going for a walk (not literally chucking obviously!). I planned in the time to walk to any activities I was going to, and also made the whole walking thing more fun by making sure I had a good book, bottle of water, snacks and/or packed lunch (DP made us one each in the morning!) and looked up some local parks I hadn't been to. If and when DS was zonked out I could then sit down and have a nice chillout time. I also went for walks with friends I made at baby groups so I wasn't quite so bored on the walks.

One memorable day after the 8 weeks jabs I walked for 9 miles but at least he got some sleep, and I had plenty of exercise!

He will now sleep quite happily in the buggy in the house, I think because he now gets that it a sleeping place IYSWIM, but I still try to make sure we go for at least one walk in the day as I actually started to enjoy it! Once he got into the habit of going to sleep and broke the cycle of being tired all the time it was fine, and he is now pretty good sleeper

Re the green poo and little snack feedings, I found that because DS was so tired he was trying to suck himself to sleep rather than feed, and even now, if he is too tired he will not feed at all. Once he was less tired this was no longer a problem. DS also had green poo for the first two months or so, but this was because I had a major oversupply issue (even now can pump 8 oz out of a breast after a feed!) and he was only ever getting foremilk, as I was swapping boobs as soon as he took a breather. After speaking to a BF councillor at a Baby Cafe I only fed from one breast per two hours, which really improved things. Don't do this without speaking to an expert though, as it reduces your supply a lot - try your local breastfeeding support group. FWIW I think green poo is not meant to be anything to worry about as long as the baby is well otherwise

Bit of an essay sorry, hope some of it helps - it will get easier!

Totally normal - it will get easier. 6-8 weeks is when the fussiness / crying / unsettledness peaks, and by 3 or 4 months most babies have learnt to soothe themselves much better (I don't mean 'soothe themselves to sleep', but they do get themselves into less of a state and generally find it easier to get to sleep).

Try attempting to get her to sleep after about an hour to an hour and a half of being awake.

If feeding to sleep does work, try doing it on the floor - put a mattress down so there's not far to roll in case of accidents, and feed her lying down. You could always use a safety rail if you're worried about her falling off.

It sounds as if she might have colic - this sort of behaviour is fairly typical: see here for an explanation of how it can affect babies' daytime sleep.

Harvey Karp's 5 Ss technique is really good, too - great for colicky babies or calming down any baby really. You can get the DVD or I think there are some promotional videos on youtube.

Ah - colic- maybe that's what it is! I also didn't know that the wakefulness was a symptom.

oh my goodness I've just googled colic and breastfeeding and come up with this theory- oversupply!

hubpages.com/hub/breastfeeding-colic

It seems to fit the behaviour and green poo. I'm going to try the block feeding and see if it makes a difference.

This is all great advice. I'd just like to add a little reassurance that it WILL get better. My LO was exactly the same and I was really worried that I was creating bad habits by giving her what she wanted to help her sleep - she only wanted to sleep on DH or my chest. I guiltily resorted to co-sleeping, practically forced the dummy on her, let her sleep on me during the day while I slept on the sofa... every unadvisable thing you could imagine. Now I think if I ever have another I'll just relax and do whatever it takes to get baby and me through the first few months without beating myself up about it. As long as you keep trying to get LO to do what you eventually want, I think they get there in their own sweet time even after months of blatant refusal! (Usually - I never did get the little so and so to take a bottle!) I think the problem comes where parents (understandably!) think "stuff this, I'm giving up on the cot/regular naps/taking a bottle" (insert your own trauma here!) Then they'll never 'get there' cos they haven't been exposed to whatever the behaviour is! My LO is now 11 months and has regular naps during the day and goes to sleep on her own and has done for several months. Just keep trying, don't push it too much and be prepared for bitter disappointment of the 'one step forward, three steps back' variety- think marathon not sprint...

Yes I had this with DS - he had (has) reflux. He had the green poo and fussing. Block feeding and keeping him in a more upright position whilst I leant back when feeding really helped. Also wind wind wind after a feed (for up to 30 mins after a feed by rubbing, not patting, his back). He also didn't take a dummy at first but we eventually found one after trying a few.
We also got medication for his reflux and put one end of his cot on blocks so he slept with his head higher than his feet which made a huge difference.

My oversupply was (and still is - DS is 7 months) ridiculous. I had to block feed in 8 hour blocks!

X - post with derby yes DS also only slept on me or DH for the first 3/4 months! Now he's in his cot just fine although day naps he usually sleeps on me as it's not a huge inconvenience - he does nap in his cot sometimes but if he fusses, I'll keep him with me as better that he sleeps.

Just to update this thread - DD is now almost 11 weeks and still not sleeping terribly well. However in desperation I have cut out the most allergenic foods from my diet in case its a reaction to something I'm eating.

I spent a lot of time researching this as a possibiity and it seems to fit. (I asked the HV whether this was likely several weeks ago and she said it wasn't because DD is gaining weight well)

Apparantly her stuffy nose, dark circles under the eyes, green poo and unsettled behaviour can all be symptoms of a sensitivity to something in my breastmilk.

I'm now eating a very limited diet of rice, salmon, some fruits and vegetables and potatoes, and have been for a week. The poo has gradually turned less green (is now a yellowy/orangey brownish colour) and today she fell asleep on my shoulder after feeding for the first time since she was 3 weeks old! She is screaming a lot less too. She is also much esier to settle to sleep in the sling, but is still by no means perfect (still hates lying down) Last night she settled herself back to sleep several times just by my putting a hand on her - that never would have happened a week ago!

We've still a way to go - she still needs feeding to sleep and needs putting in the sling for daytime naps, but its an improvement at least. Hopefully as the allergens leave our systems (apparantly it can take up to 3 weeks) things will improve even more.

I'm just a bit annoyed that the HV poohpoohed my theory when all the signs were there. We could have had several fewer weeks of hell!