tearful toddler at nursery

[miriamob]

Hi everyone

I have a problem which I know is very common but also very upsetting! Our little one who is two and a half gets really really upset when being dropped off at nursery. She does calm down after half an hour or so but we're desperate to find some suggestions on how to make the drop off less upsetting for her. Any suggestions on tricks that have worked for other parents would be great. We've just had a second baby which has made her slightly worse at nursery time but really she's been upset being left there, on and off, for the last four months or so.

Thanks for reading!

ds is only 1 but can be a bit upset - especially if i drop him off instead of dh doing it as normal.
we keep good byes short and sweet and leave as soon as he finds something to play with.

Don't make her go. I wish I hadn't made mine. They STILL talk about how upset they used to be and they are in secondary school now. If I had the time again I would wait till they were over three.

Agree with mrsflux. My DD (3.4) is much better if goodbyes are kept short.

My ds, now 4, was very similar at that age. If at all possible is there an assistant that can greet her one on one when you arrive?

Even if it's not the same person every day I found it a great help that she wasn't just "dumped" in the middle of a room full of loud children!!

Definitely second Chablis - where possible make sure that she is greeted by the same person every day and then get in and out as quickly as possible.

My DS is 20 months and thankfully can be easily distracted on the way in. Lots of upbeat and enthusiastic chat about all the wonderful things he will do while there...

I really sympathise though, it still breaks my heart every morning - have no choice though. Need to work and both mine and DH's family are in another country

How often does she go to nursery? DD was only going one day a week, got really upset at drop off ( but fine for rest of day). We switched to 2 mornings instead, and she settled fine.

As the others said, a familiar face is helpful. Obviously, with the shifts they tend to work, you can't rely on the same person being there every day at drop-off, but DD was happy if one of 3 people were there

Four months is a long time to have not settled she doesn't sound ready, with a new baby at home too she is probably feeling excluded I would keep her at home awhile longer.

thanks everyone for your advice. my little one has been at the nursery since she was nine months old but this difficult bit started around the time she moved up to the toddler room. would love to keep her home but she has lots of little friends there and i also think she may be worse when we put her back in after a prolonged period at home. she goes in 2 days a week.

My toddler DS was fine being left at nursery until he was 2.9 when he started to get very upset. He's quite chatty so was able to tell us that he "wanted to stay home and do things with mummy" - the monkey had realised that I was no longer going to work and was at home, probably doing exciting things without him! I would suggest your toddler also thinks you are home having a lovely time with your baby without him.

What worked for us was saying that Mummy is doing boring work in the library while he is in nursery and making my day out to be very dull (not difficult, I was writing my thesis LOL).

Like other posters, it helped when he was greeted every day by the same staff member who got him busy straight away putting his packed lunch in the fridge and getting into an activity. Also agree to keep goodbyes short and promise you'll be back after lunch, tea, whenever as she'll understand that.

When my daughter started pre school, she was always happier when an adult welcomed her in, Children like to be made welcome.... as we adults do too... I would not like to walk into a crowded room and for nobody to say Hello. Maybe you could ask a staff member to really welcome her in each morning.