mother of a 2.5 y/o and no idea about toilet training

[Caththerese1973]

hi
I just cannot understand how people toilet train their babies. what IS involved, apart from letting them run around with no nappy and letting them have accidents until they learn?
My dd is two and a half and does not seem very interested in learning, although she likes to pretend to pooh on the toilet. I must admit I have not encouraged her much. It just seems easier to keep on with nappies at the moment. I have witnessed other mothers struggling, taking their kids to the toilet every half in case they have an accident etc...I guess what I am getting at is: will they learn themselves if you don't intervene? Or is it necessary to mess around for weeks with potties and dirty training pants in order to get there?
I guess it would be nice she was trained by the time she is three, but some people I know seem to think an untrained 3 year old is socially unacceptable.
Tips would be welcomed.

Hi there - please remember every child is different. we just took his nappy off, and took a potty wherever we went! Nursery helped Monday to friday, but we never stopped going anywhere etc. Wes reliably "trained within about two weeks, with no real disasters (apart from weeing over the floor in a carpet shop!) Now 3.6mths and about 4 months ago we did the night time thing(was still wet in a morning but we thought "Lets give it a go" Took off his nappy, used pampers bed mats (soon learned to put them on top of the bed to avoid wet bedding) Was dry within about two weeks although were lifting him at about 10.30.

No longer use any protection, has about 1/2 pint milk before bedtime! and is dry - no wet beds for about 10 weeks (or how ever long it is!!!)

I know this isn't how the books say to do it but it has worked for us.

I to have been putting off the potting training my Ds is 2.8 years and I have been potting training since monday he seems to be doing ok but when he has an accident I so want to put a nappy back on him but I know that is going backwards, in a perfect world it would be ideal if they took off their own nappy sat on the toilet and from thereon potty trained,(oh how I wish).

We got a kids book explaining (in a fun way) what a potty is for (check out your baby stores). DS read if every day for three weeks (he LOVED it). His potty was in the living room, but we didn't ask him to sit on it. After three weeks he ASKED for the potty. He has been almost fully potty trained since 2.1yo (except is still in night nappies). He went on the potty at first, but now (only 2months later) he just uses the "big toilet" (at home or anywhere where we go out), and the potty has been "lost".

Thanks posters for the responses. Any other tips?
I am SUCH a lazy Mum. The idea of struggling with pooey pants is just not appealing. But I suppose it must be done.
BTW, she always has a very wet nappy in the morning. Does this mean she is 'not ready', as I read somewhere?

Catherese - our toilet training has not been a struggle at all.

After reading the potty book, we just kept DS's pants off at home, so he could use the potty (or toilet, with the aid of a step) whenever he wanted to. Seems they are more able to tell when it is coming if they are unclothed (also, they can get to the potty quicker). DS only weed on the floor twice, and we never had a poo accident.

We continued putting a nappy on him when we went out. Now he sometimes wears a nappy when we go out, and sometimes not (depending on where we are going and what we are going to be doing). But we have done this gradually. He pretty much has a totally dry nappy when we come back from going out, and he asks for the toilet when we are out about 99% of the times he needs it.

As for night - No, being wet in the morning does NOT mean she is not ready. Toilet training is often done in phases (get days right before tackling nights). Our DS is still wet every morning (and wears a nappy to bed every night) even though he is pretty much nappy free most of the day (unless we are out where there are no loos, or where it would be inconvenient to find a loo). However, DS now will not wee in his nappy when we are out (he prefers to hold it in).

So we pretty much took a three stage approach. 1. Let him give it a go at home, until he got it.(Nappy on for all outings, and at night during this phase)
2. When he started being dry for outings, then started gradually taking nappy off for some outings. Will eventually graduate to no nappy at all in the day.
3. Nappies still worn every night and for all daytime naps. Will ease off the nappy during day time naps once stage 2 is complete. Then after that will think about removing night nappy after he wakes up consistently dry for a while.

We also rewarded him every time he did something in the potty/toilet. He loves candles, so got to blow out one candle for a wee, and two for a poo - but it had to be 100% successful in the potty/toilet, or no candle was given). We turned it into a game. He had fun and we all roared and clapped when he got it right. This was only at the very beginning, and he soon didn't ask for candles, and seemed to get satisfaction from just getting it right. We still continue to tell him how great he is doing when he asks for the toilet, though.

Kiwikate, what is the name of that potty book?
Also, should I start with potty, then move onto to toilet, or do both at the same time? Or can you skip the potty altogether?
One thing she does do now is sit on the potty in the morning, first thing, for 'morning wees'. But only if the TV is on! Sometimes she just sits for ages and no wee comes, but she will not get off unless she has done a wee.
She has also, in a way, started signalling when she is about to do number 2. She says 'I've got a pain'. And then a minute later, there's a pooh. But unfortunately, as soon as I cottoned onto this and started taking her to the toilet in the hope of catching it, she began teasing me. That is, she says 'I've got a pain', for a joke!- just to see if she can trick me into taking her to the toilet!

I've lent the potty book out and can't remember the name, it was something like "what is the potty for?". Will try and remember to get it from my friend for you. Or you could try any baby store - many sell books on preparing kids for things like the potty/new baby/moving house etc.

We started on the potty, but pretty quickly did both potty and toilet (toilet when we were out), but DS had no problem with the "big toilet" (as he still calls it) so we just "lost" the potty. Might be a bit difficult for you to skip the potty if she likes to watch tv while on it! I think they all go through the stage of sitting for ages waiting for something to come (at first they can't really tell when they are ready, and this phase kind of helps them sort it out).

While it is annoying that she is playing on you with false alarms - it is probably better than the other way around. I think the fact that she makes a game of it is a good sign (no resistance). Personally, I'd rather go a few extra times for false alarms, than clean up a mess. She'll probably tire of the game side of it soon enough and just let you know when she really wants to go. Also, sometimes (especially with poos) they can think something is coming when they aren't quite ready yet (so don't ignore a second or third signal for the loo - you may be unpleasantly caught out).

We had two books - one by Usbourne - something like Potty time???? Nice big pictures with what a potty is for. Also had a book called I want my potty - about a princess who wanted to start using a potty