Can we have a definative 'what age' thread?

[HousewifeOfOrangeCounty]

There are a couple of threads about children of differing ages being left without adult supervision at the moment. Is there a consensus of opinion?

What age...

to be left at home with no adult for a very short time, say 5 mins to post a letter or similar?

to be left for a slightly longer time alone, say 15 - 20 mins while perhaps you take another dc to a club involving a short car journey?

to be left for an hour at home with no adult in the house?

to come home from school alone, let themselves in and be alone for two - three hours. During which time they'll possibly need to get themselves something to eat?

Lets assume the child is average (is there such a thing?) and not particularly mature or immature.

o be left at home with no adult for a very short time, say 5 mins to post a letter or similar?

depends on whether the child is happy to be left but somewhere from 7 to 9

to be left for a slightly longer time alone, say 15 - 20 mins while perhaps you take another dc to a club involving a short car journey?

8 to 9

to be left for an hour at home with no adult in the house?

11 - 13

to come home from school alone, let themselves in and be alone for two - three hours. During which time they'll possibly need to get themselves something to eat?

11 to 13 onwards

all above assume no younger children in the house

to be left at home with no adult for a very short time, say 5 mins to post a letter or similar?

9 / 10

to be left for a slightly longer time alone, say 15 - 20 mins while perhaps you take another dc to a club involving a short car journey?

11

to be left for an hour at home with no adult in the house?

13

to come home from school alone, let themselves in and be alone for two - three hours. During which time they'll possibly need to get themselves something to eat?

15

here's what I think btw

to be left at home with no adult for a very short time, say 5 mins to post a letter or similar?

7/8

to be left for a slightly longer time alone, say 15 - 20 mins while perhaps you take another dc to a club involving a short car journey?

10

to be left for an hour at home with no adult in the house?

11/12

to come home from school alone, let themselves in and be alone for two - three hours. During which time they'll possibly need to get themselves something to eat?

Don't know, my eldest is 11 so I have no idea about teens.

I honestly don't think you can categorise like this. A school friend of mine used to get given a shopping list and money in her school bag, walk to the supermarket from school, buy the groceries, and carry them home. She was 7-8 at the time. Just an example of how children are only as mature as you allow them to be. And this isn't that long ago either - i.e. we are talking the early to mid 90s.

Clearly I am very lax ! I would say:

to be left at home with no adult for a very short time, say 5 mins to post a letter or similar?

5

to be left for a slightly longer time alone, say 15 - 20 mins while perhaps you take another dc to a club involving a short car journey?

8 or 9

to be left for an hour at home with no adult in the house?

10

to come home from school alone, let themselves in and be alone for two - three hours. During which time they'll possibly need to get themselves something to eat?

13

Oh, I am laxer than you (Bramshott).
But I don't want to put down my numbers because I'd get flamed for it and that's no fun.
See, you can't get a true reflective consensus, OP, instead you'll get answers heavily biased towards "Better safe than sorry", not the same as what most people IRL actually do think is alright.

Totally agree with Cantsupinate.

Fear of flaming is a powerful deterrant, especially in parenting forums.

Anyway, I think it's slightly ridiculous to "agree" on something which clearly depends on a child's individual maturity.

I know it's a cliche, but difficult to define the "average" child.

Why not trust your own instincts?

Totally depends on the child, and situation.

I am probably quite lax indeed.

Then there's teh psychological thing.

I would go out and do the gardening down the bottom of the garden while the baby was asleep in her cot

But I wouldn't go next door for a chat for the same amount of time.

That's illogical, but we all do it, having different things we perceive as "safe" or "risky" for no apparent reason.

Also so many of these rules fall by the wayside in case of emergencies. I remember my mum being very firm that children should not be left alone before the age of 10. One fine day, my dad had a heart attack and my mum rushed to the hospital with him just telling me to look after my brother and keep the door locked. I was 8 at the time. In the morning, when they hadn't returned, I dressed myself and my brother (then 5), made us breakfast (cereal) and walked to school with db. My mum was gobsmacked when she returned because she didn't think I was capable of doing all of that, whereas the reality was that I was never given the opportunity iyswim.

The thread is very arbitrary imo

Definitely would not categorise. It would depend on factors like the maturity of the child, the neighbourhood (could child get help in emergency), country (Scandinavian children typically have far more independence, so obviously are more used to it), other factors such as family dynamics (I would rather leave a child alone if there were no other worries) and not least what the child wanted.

I know one 8 (almost9) year-old whose (very nice but very over=protective) mum is too scared to let him cross our v. non-bust residential street by himself....

Me, I'm almost on the verge of letting DS (3) walk two blocks to the neighbors! (joke... joke)

There is no definitive answer.

Totally depends on the child and the situation.

to be left at home with no adult for a very short time, say 5 mins to post a letter or similar?

5

to be left for a slightly longer time alone, say 15 - 20 mins while perhaps you take another dc to a club involving a short car journey?

6

to be left for an hour at home with no adult in the house?

8 or 9

to come home from school alone, let themselves in and be alone for two - three hours. During which time they'll possibly need to get themselves something to eat?

Secondary school

There are some children in my year 5 class who I hope never get left alone by their parents.

to be left at home with no adult for a very short time, say 5 mins to post a letter or similar?

3/4

to be left for a slightly longer time alone, say 15 - 20 mins while perhaps you take another dc to a club involving a short car journey?

5

to be left for an hour at home with no adult in the house?

7

to come home from school alone, let themselves in and be alone for two - three hours. During which time they'll possibly need to get themselves something to eat?
7-8