Do I have to keep smacking him?

[mumtotwoboys]

My 3 year old is CONSTANTLY jumping off the top of the couch and pretty much aiming to land on his newborn brother.
He's done it at least 6 or 7 times today alone.
I'm trying to breastfeed. He dives onto us and ends up squashing both of us obviously so I have to drag/push him off.
When I leave the room (in the kitchen where I can can still see them). He goes to 'hug' his brother and I can see he's squeezing him as hard as possible and squishing his face into him, my 4 week old then screams obviously. It does actually hurt he's done it to me, disguised as hugging. I go in and say no get off him now. He'll look at me and carry on. I drag him off and smack his hand.
My 3 year old absolutely does not speak English. He used to speak some, he doesn't anymore. We're being referred to a speach therapists.
When I try to explain not to hurt his baby brother he just growls as I'm talking, absolutely no indication he understands me.
I'm really pissed off right now.
I hate smacking him but no idea what else to do, especially while he's mid- crushing his little brother.

Hayllp?

Mumtotwoboys I would suggest you ask the doctor for a referral to a paediatrician. If your son has a speech problem you want it to be sorted now, I still remember the boy I was at school with whose problem wasn't picked up until he was at school. But it could be one of a whole range of problems.
It is no wonder he is angry if he can't express himself. What kind of a nursery does he go to? Is it a private one? A sure start one? A pre-school/playgroup one? Do talk to the manager about your concerns.

But do try to spot good behaviour and reward it. A friend of mine, a paediatric nurse, makes her mothers spot their child being good ten times a day. It doesn't have to be majorly good, just smiling, or not hitting will do to start. And ignore the bad as much as possible.

But do get a referral, its not that your a bad mother, it could be he has a problem.

take him to doctr about his speech and language, especially as your health visitor wants you to.
much sympathy for you. it is hard.

I know what u mean to avoid jealousy.
DS1 is with me every minute of the day though:/ apart from 2 1/2 hours per day on weekday afternoons.
DS2 is a good baby but he's breastfeeding constantly.

I would be having words about the nursery staff "dragging" him away.

Could nursery introduce him to PECS - a communication method using pictures. It may help with communicating his needs to the staff.

Try to get him a referral to see the Speech & Language Therapist (SALT) who will be able to access his current language development level and offer advice. PECS is something the SALT can explain more about. You can also find out more by asking on the Mumsnet Special Needs: Children board.

You asked earlier what SN is... it's short for Special Need. Children who require additional help with some aspect of their life... in your son's case that would be currently his language delay and regression (did you say he used to speak more previously?)

3 year olds can have a lot of energy which needs running off. Try to get out of the house every morning, ideally to somewhere that your son can use up lots of his energy - such as a park (running around, kicking a football, trying to catch butterflies). Do you have a pram so that baby can sleep whilst you are out?
Also visit Toddler Groups... so you get a sit down with a coffee/tea and DS1 gets to rampage around. Some Toddler Groups can be found listed on Mumsnet Local.

Thank you very much.
All taken into account,
Yes I think he does have regression.
He was saying mum at aged 1 and then I started putting him in daycare 30 hours a week. Everyone said 'oh he'll get to meet other kids he'll love it.
He screamed every morning almost for 9 months and he stopped speaking altogether.
He's come along a bit since I took him out of daycare last year, but now he's just started pre school I worry that will be bad for him again (of course all support workers think he 'needs to be with other kids', but why did he stop talking last time?
Maybe it's not so great for all kids to be left at nursery. They have 60 kids there he could easily get ignored and misunderstood and regress more

I'll go see someone anyway. Thanks, you've all been very helpful