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Original poster

Am i over reacting?

67 replies

Littleblue · 15/05/2010 09:58

My little girl was held down while a leaf was forced into her mouth and she was made to swallow it by 3 other girls..all 6 years old.
Shes weepy,and complaining of tummy aches and nausea..obviously very upset by this..
I intend raising hell about this monday morning..i want the other girls parents told etc..

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AndieWalsh · 15/05/2010 17:12

It's a nasty thing to do, but one nasty act does not make a child 'horrible'.

I agree, it is serious and needs to be dealt with, but not by the police. That would be a complete waste of their time.

Calm down and approach this rationally. Reading the riot act to a trio of six year olds is not going to make the situation better.

Bechka · 15/05/2010 18:03

I am shocked. Your poor little girl. I am very upset even thinking about this. Please take this to the highest level within the school. Good luck.

Original poster
Littleblue · 15/05/2010 18:17

When i say police i mean a letter from an appropriate dept ie a liason officer regarding the safety of children within the school..on a lack of supervision basis?

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Original poster
Littleblue · 15/05/2010 18:22

Andiewalsh, I agree on some levels,but the child that instigated this is known for behaviour like this..ok,i'll swap the word 'horrible' for 'disturbed?God alone knows what her home environment is Im amazed a child so young could be capable of such cruelty.But yeah,i'm upset,who wouldnt be!?
As for the riot act..If a child of mine did this to another,it would be the riot act alright!

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Sarah111213 · 16/05/2010 11:48

I wouldn't get the police involved - they've got better things to do than deal with bullying, which should be being dealt with by the school. I also don't think anything that happened points to a lack of supervision - the teacher knew and checked what the leaf was. You also say that it is a 'busy' school - if there are lots of children in a busy playground, the teacher can't be with them all at once - what if another child had broken him arm falling at the same time? She would have had her full attention on him, as would any other adult in the playground.

Also, this does not make them either 'horrible' or 'disturbed'. Children do do things like that - it might have been part of a game, in which your daughter was complicit, until the incident. They probably didn't realise how upset she was - children often don't realise the consequences of what they are doing until they have done it.

I don't think you're overreacting to want to go into school, but I do think you're taking it a bit far now - keeping her off school on Monday achieves nothing - she is not in a 'dangerous' situation, and what happened to her is not the worst thing that has every happened to a child in school.

Al1son · 16/05/2010 14:43

I would just use the threat of police to ensure that the school address this issue properly. The children concerned need to understand how serious this incident is and that it cannot ever happen again.

The head needs to make sure that staff and these girls parents are aware of what happened. That incident was dangerous and abusive and in older children the police would have been involved. You need to ask what measures will be taken to ensure that your daughter is safe from anything like this in the future.

I would not keep her at home tomorrow. That will just reiforce any worries she has and let her think she is not safe there. You could ask the head to reassure her that he/she will ensure it doesn't happen again.

RunawayWife · 16/05/2010 14:49

I would speak to the head, make sure the other parents are told and the children are punished

Fibilou · 16/05/2010 15:03

"I agree, it is serious and needs to be dealt with, but not by the police. That would be a complete waste of their time"

Not for the dedicated schools liaison officer for the OPs school - whose role exists to deal with exactly this sort of thing.

As a police officer myself I would inform the school that, if they do not deal with the matter in a proper fashion, I will report the matter to the SLO

Fibilou · 16/05/2010 15:05

I can't believe so many people are implying that the OP is overreacting. No wonder bullying never gets dealt with properly with these attitudes

"children often don't realise the consequences of what they are doing until they have done it." I'm sure that would be a great comfort to Denise Bulger.

KerryMumbles · 16/05/2010 15:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sarah111213 · 16/05/2010 18:42

And I'm sure that it would be an even greater comfort to Denise Bulger if she knew that her son's murder was being compared to school bullying.

cory · 16/05/2010 20:23

I think it is absolutely appalling if school won't deal with this; these days- with so much awareness of bullying- there is really no excuse for a school not to have strategies and be implementing them.

Original poster
Littleblue · 16/05/2010 20:28

My daughter could have either been choked or poisoned...as it stands,she suffered no injury apart from emotionally..Thank you the poster who mentioned the SLO,i knew there was something available of that nature..but the questions im going to ask the school will be
extremely direct..but courteous.

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Original poster
Littleblue · 16/05/2010 20:30

The strategies are there..I wont go in like a deranged harpy and she is going in tomorrow..with me and my exe to talk to the teacher.

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EmilyStrange · 16/05/2010 20:31

I am so sorry OP, I feel for you and your dd. I agree you should go in and stay there until you feel your concerns have been ADEQUATELY addressed. Did you take your dd to the dr if she is looking so pale?

I agree that I would not involve the police but you can find out exactly what is happening, demand better supervision (something I feel schools really fail on and I don't give a damn who blasts me on this) and if needs be go to the governors and even ofsted. But hopefully it won't come to this. You may be surprised by how well the school deals with it after they have been appraised of the situation.

And just to echo other posters, don't keep your dd off school as this will reinforce her anxiety and make it even more difficult for her to return to school the following day.
I will be thinking of you.

Original poster
Littleblue · 16/05/2010 20:31

KerryM thge frustration over the weekend is that we didnt know til after the fact..and school closure for the weekend.
She's ok....

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Original poster
Littleblue · 16/05/2010 20:34

She goes pale when she thinks about it..shes fine the rest of the time,she's had a lovely weekend..thank you everybody. x

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Original poster
Littleblue · 16/05/2010 20:40

I dont think its unreasonable to ask why this incident passed unnoticed for long enough for such a nasty thing to occur,its not a matter of seconds after all..if i'm fobbed off by the teacher,i will be talking to the Head.STRONGLY.

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Needanewname · 16/05/2010 20:48

Sarah are you for real???

How would you feel if this was your child and the school didn't tell you about it?

Why do we treat bullying as something children do? Maybe they weren't aware of the consequences (which I don;t believe for a second) but they need to be made aware, need to apologise to the OPs child and the OPs child needs to be made to feel safe.

As someone who was bullied I feel comfoted by the fact that DD1s school is very good on anti bullying and teach the children from a young age what is and isn;t acceptable.

OP, I also agree with others (including Sarah) not to keep DD off school tomorrow. I dont; know what you can say to her to make her feel better but let her know that you are dealing with it and that she can tell you anything.

Good luck tomorrow

Original poster
Littleblue · 16/05/2010 21:04

I was bullied as a child too,and i remember so very clearly the gut wrenching dread when being made to go back again..but she is going in,with me and her Dad,and we will talk with her teacher,and together with her to make sure its handled sensitively,sensibly..and FIRMLY..

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hocuspontas · 16/05/2010 21:18

You might want to phone ahead and go in early as the teacher won't be able to give you her full attention at 9.00 which will be doubly frustrating for you

Original poster
Littleblue · 16/05/2010 22:37

She's got an assistant on a monday..who does the register.

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Sarah111213 · 16/05/2010 22:37

Yes, needanewname, I am for real. What I am saying is that I think it is over the top to go to the police, as the OP doesn't yet know whether this has been dealt with by the school, and whether the other parents have been informed.

If this was my child and the school didn't tell me about it, I would be angry, but the OP seems to be blaming the children more than the school. I don't agree with calling six year olds 'disturbed'. I'm sorry, but I think that's just plain wrong.

I was also bullied at school. It was the most miserable six years of my life. The bullies were told off repeatedly and the school, and my parents, were aware of who they were and what they did, but the more they were told off, the worse it got.

oliviacrumble · 17/05/2010 09:21

Hope your talk with the school goes well today, and that dd feels safe and happy there again.

I do think it was a truly horrible incident, and perhaps some six year olds do display behaviours which appear "disturbed".

Sarah I don't see why it is so wrong to use such terms?

Original poster
Littleblue · 17/05/2010 09:53

I have four children,my eldest is 19..i have witnessed,dealt with and heard of many many examples of what delights children are capable of..this is the worst by far,so for this little girl specifically..who forced my childs mouth open etc..i stand by my 'term'
We went in together to see the teacher,that alone flags up how serious we are taking this as we have been split up for 3 years.
She was lovely...utterly horrified,knew nothing about it,is going to speak to the Headmistress herself..and to the children concerned..then meet with us and our daughter again.
She was so nice i was choked up,she nearly hugged me bless her...

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