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Original poster

Inconsolable newborn - any suggestions?

34 replies

DDDixon · 15/05/2010 03:47

Our baby is absolutely lovely, spent her first night in hospital (EMCS) and she was very chilled, but since we came home she becomes totally overwrought in the evenings and NOTHING is settling her. Have tried swaddling, white noise, music, holding her, etc etc etc. I think she is overstimulated or something but how can we avoid that?
I can't feed her from about 10pm to 5am as she is too wound up to latch (there are no concerns about feeding otherwise, she gets on great during the day), we have had some success with a dummy but she gets too upset for that even.
If we put her in the car or the pram and take her out she will go to sleep, but obviously we can't sleep and walk/drive at the same time, and I can't do much of anything due to CS.
At the moment her dad is upstairs in bed and I am in the kitchen with her, she's in her pram and I'm just trying to ignore the crying, surely she's got to stop sometime?

I don't even care if she never sleeps at night, I just want to be able to do something about how upset she seems. She has screamed continually since about half eleven, it's now quarter to four
We've had brilliant support from the midwives on the delivery suite, they are on the end of the phone and reassured us that she's fine and we're not doing anything wrong, but it's so upsetting to hear and see this tiny baby seemingly so distressed for such a long time.

Please help! I know it'll pass but that's not helping us just now.
Co-sleeping is NOT something we will consider, so thanks but don't want to hear about that.

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Original poster

DDDixon · 15/05/2010 03:49

Ps she was only born on Tuesday!

OP posts:

TanteRose · 15/05/2010 05:06

Pick her up and cuddle her - she needs to be very close to you.

Go to bed or sit down, and take her top off, and your top off and hold her to you skin-to-skin.

Sing to her.

How many days old is she? Has your milk come in yet?

She needs to be nuzzling your breasts to stimulate milk production - she doesn't have to be latched on and feeding the whole time yet - although in a couple of days, that is ALL she will be doing.

Hang in there - wake up your DH, even if it for moral support He can at least make you a cuppa!

Original poster

DDDixon · 15/05/2010 05:44

Thanks Unfortunately we spent three hours singing and cuddling her earlier to no avail - I have found that skin to skin with me seemed to be like magic but now she's gone off that

She did finally calm down and had a good feed, my milk seems to be coming in nicely, and she's much happier now - if the last two nights are anything to go by I'll have to wake her up to feed her later! She's only three days and so lovely, it just really gets to us seeing her like this.

Her dad is fantastic, he's been up for days with us both so I sent him to get some shuteye, no sense in us both being wrecked and I am dependent on him for so much just now as I can't lift anything due to CS. He's going to phone the midwives later to see if someone can come to see us today, fingers crossed.

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TanteRose · 15/05/2010 06:21

sorry, didn't mean to imply your DH was being a slacker!

Glad she has calmed down - it will get easier as each day passes. If you think about it, babies are all warm and cosy in our tummy up until they have the harsh reality of being born and being outside, really, so in many ways, you can't blame them for crying!!

The sleep/feeding situation will change, literally, every few days - she doesn't know the difference between night/day and won't for a couple of weeks yet. She has no idea she is a separate person from you, and all she knows is her instinct to be close to you and to make sure her tummy is full. She will feed little and often (between every 1.5~2 hours) because her tummy is tiny, about the size of a walnut. She digests the milk quickly and will then feel hungry again.

You are doing really well! Keep up the good work!

MrsWobbleTheWaitress · 15/05/2010 06:37

She's not feeding enough at night. I know you say she's inconsolable to feed at night, but 10pm-5am is way, way too long for a newborn to go without feeding.

mamasunshine · 15/05/2010 07:57

Completely agree with TanteRose. But another thing I could definately recommend is cranial osteopathy. Some places offer it free whilst the baby is under 3 weeks as well. I had EMCS with ds1 he was always crying about something, struggled latching, lots of colic, oh loads and loads of things. Took him to the cranial osteopath and I'm not joking but it all stopped immediately!! He was suddenly content (most of the time!)

Lovethesea · 15/05/2010 10:49

Friends have found the Amby nest crib great for a colicy baby - like a mini hammock so they are slighty tilted and enclosed in a more womb like and mobile way. I think they have good reports from physios etc too so aren't damaging to the spine.

Not cheap but perhaps worth a thought if she doesn't settle in the next week or so? I haven't used one myself so its only word of mouth.

www.amby.co.uk/site/pages.php?fid=0,11

mama2moo · 15/05/2010 17:15

Take her to a Cranial Osteopath.

They work wonders. If you have had a difficult labour/C section the baby can be wound up. They carefully manipulate their bones to sort them out.

I take my 3mo dd because her neck was tight and she is fine now.

LynetteScavo · 15/05/2010 17:17

Swaddle.

Dummy/feed

Cranial osteopath.

Oh, and congratulations1

Katisha · 15/05/2010 17:19

DS1 was like this.
The cranial osteopath calmed him down a lot.Did about 6 sessions I think.
He still didn't sleep for long but he seemed a lot less agitated generally.

LynetteScavo · 15/05/2010 17:27

I think you are right about her being over stimulated.

Have you read Gina Food, Contented Little Baby? While I don't recommend you follow her book to the letter, I do think what she advises can prevent a baby becoming over stimulated.

FakePlasticTrees · 15/05/2010 17:48

cranial osteopath - worth every penny!

skin to skin with DH helped with our DS, he seemed to find that as settling as sleeping on me.

and it does get better I promise!!!

FlipFantasia · 15/05/2010 22:11

Some good suggestions - cuddling, skin to skin, etc all good. I also had an EMCS and the early days/weeks are a struggle, but things get better day by day

Just wanted to say that I don't think Gina Ford is a good idea for such a tiny baby - 3 days is way too early for her suggestions imo.

kittycat37 · 15/05/2010 22:16

DDDixon - reading your OP was like reading a description of my DD1 (now 3yrs) as a newborn!! She was also EMCS and also used to be totally inconsolable for hours at a time despite cuddling, rocking, feeding, etc etc etc It's dfficult to tally that with the child she is now (happy, funny etc)

We tried cranial osteopathy which did seem to help a bit. I also found that just going outside (e.g in the summer evenings before it got dark) seemed to help a bit, for a while at least.

But the main thing was just the time passing and as she became more interactive it became easier and easier to soothe her. By 3 months the incessant bouts of crying had stopped I think.

I really empathise because it is the most heart breaking and exhausting experience when they can't be soothed.

Our DD2 (5 wks) is completely different and only cries a little bit although we're not doing anything differently (she had a much easier birth - don't know if that's anything to do with it). So I think whatever happens, don't beat yourself up as this stage will pass and it sounds like you're doing a great job.

omnishambles · 15/05/2010 22:22

DDDixon - congrats! At this stage she is probably hungry tbh and is crying to be put to the breast and stimulate more milk production - completely normal to be on and off the breast all day with boust of sleeping in between.

She needs to be feeding every couple of hours and shouldnt be going all night without.

Theres lots of really good helpful people in breast and bottle feeding if you post in there.

Original poster

DDDixon · 16/05/2010 10:11

Thanks for all the suggestions, I am pleased to say that we have had a brilliant 36 hours with her now so fingers crossed! My midwife came round, reassured me about feeding and suggested co-sleeping, we still weren't keen (it scares me is all) on having her in the bed with us so tried sleeping on the floor with her, and we all got lots of rest - will be doing that for a while until she's more secure. Our bed is awful and I actually found the floor more comfy! She is feeding more frequently too and seems happy, milk seems to be coming in nicely. What a difference a day makes

OP posts:

Al1son · 16/05/2010 14:54

We bought a new mattress just before DD2 was born and it turned out to be a good move because she was incapable of keeping herself warm for the first month so had to sleep with us. Once she was ok she went in a crib no problem so don't worry about starting any bad habits.

It is the most awful feeling when your baby is distressed and you can't help. It makes you feel like you're letting her down.

It will pass and you will get to know what she needs. Keep offering to feed her, give her cuddles if it helps and tell yourself that it won't last too long. A lot of parenting at this stage is trial and error.

Let's hope she's over the worst now and you get some more settled nights from now on.

Conundrumish · 16/05/2010 15:33

Cranial osteopath recommendation here too.

Original poster

DDDixon · 18/05/2010 16:39

Thanks everybody, am going to look into the cranial osteopathy. She's got colic now, well, definitely trapped wind bless her. It's so unfair, she's such a lovely baby and she doesn't deserve all this crap. Grr!

OP posts:

OnEdge · 18/05/2010 17:21

gina ford book = fantastic

MyNameIsInigoMontoya · 18/05/2010 20:47

You haven't said how much sleep she gets during the day, but not enough napping can be a factor in evening crying too. So you could try more daytime naps - using sling or pushchair if she can't settle in bed yet. Plus going out for walks will get her plenty of fresh air which also seems to help. (Ignore if you are already doing this, of course). We did tons of evening walks with DS when he was tiny!

marriednotdead · 18/05/2010 20:58

Another vote for the cranial osteopath. DS was miserable for several weeks until mine got her hands on him- what a difference

GaribaldiGirl · 18/05/2010 21:06

i agree with your midewife about co-sleeping. personally none of my babies would sleep unless they were right next to me or on top of me until they were several months old. they have all been quite small and needed feeding at least every 2 or 3 hours for several weeks and i just always felt it wasn't worth the aggro of getting them to sleep in a cot. with co-sleeping they're lying next to the milk bar all night and can top themselves up without you having to wake up for long. plus it's also absolutley lovely to cuddle them in the night. i think your milk production is usually better at night time because you're relaxed - at least, that seems to be true for me.

Original poster

DDDixon · 19/05/2010 09:43

I enjoy the co-sleeping but last night her daddy settled her in her carry cot (she is about a foot from our heads!) and we slept in bed beside her. She went right through just waking to feed twice
So I now know not to eat broccoli and we are looking into cranial osteopathy, she is a lovely lovely baby but she had a tough time with the birth so we think it may be worth it. I think I could do with some myself!

Regarding the night I posted this, I've spoken to a couple of friends who are MWs and they reckon it's very common for c section babies to have an awful prolonged reaction a few days post birth - hope that helps anyone else who is going through it, I've had 2 awful nights with my baby and the other was wind related (see broccoli comment!).

OP posts:

sharonhall · 24/11/2012 18:47

I know this was a whole ago but we are having the exact same problem. My DD sleeps like an angel all day and feeds perfectly then mid morning she screams non stop and won't latch in due to being so worked up. I can't co sleep. I'm too scared. Please help. I end up in tears it upsets me so much to see her like that x

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