another question from me. sorry

[samjh]

i have this kinda.. phobia!
a long with being crazy about what my child should and shouldnt be eating (7 months)

i absoltley have to feed her on the times i feed her (she has a good routine and it works for me and her very well)
the thing is if someone asks me to go out for lunch or to go anywhere im constantly panicking about times! i give her her dinner at about 4, and if something comes up where we are out and heading home and wont get back till say half four, i get into a total panick and sweat

does anyone else have this? im just obsessed with feeding her at the times ive put and worry if it goes off track the rest of the night will go off track (she sleeps through now and its great)

im just wondering if this is some sort of compulsive disorder because family and friends get annoyed with me and make me feel stupid! if i say "oh i better not cuz DD is due dinner then" they are like.. well just feed her after, and look at me like im a crazy lunatic! i get angry and upset, my DP totally understands how i feel about it and is supportive of my little routines, but everyone else dosnt get it.

am i mad?? x

You are definitely NOT mad! You just sound like a normal anxious mum. I was like that with DS1 as he responded really well to a routine and if we were 'out of routine' as such, he starts to get really foul by the end of the day. The good news is that they get more flexible without you having to do anything as they get older. DS1 is now 2.3 years old and will ask for food if he is hungry or milk if he feels like it. So I am a lot more flexible now especially with DS2 demanding my time as well.

I think you do need to manage your anxiety though as it sounds like it is affecting how you function in your life. Firstly you need to get it in your head that your DD will not starve if she has to wait half an hour or an hour for food. Secondly, there are things you can do to make sure you always have food on the ready so you can feed your DD whenever and wherever if need be. For example, I always bring hot water in a thermos flask so I can make a bottle up on the go rather than depend on when I get to a restaurant/cafe for that. When I was weaning DS1 as well, I used to bring a special thermos I can put hot food in and keeps it warm for a few hours. Will that help you in not panicking about having to be somewhere at a certain time?

You have to remember that at the end of the day, if it all doesn't go as planned and your DD eats/drinks at the wrong time, what is the worst that can happen? She might wake in the middle of the night for a bottle but so what? It really isn't the end of the world. I hope this helps!

it has helped thankyou, i know im my head im just being daft, i wish i wasnt like this because its stopping me seeing my friends as often as i used to!

i think the thing is aswell that i have noticed is if i absoltley HAVE to feed her out of the hose i get quiet anxcious about that aswell.. today for example im going to my boyfriends sister's nursery with her little boy and boyfriends mum to have pictures takem of them together, im looking forward to it but all i keep doing in my head is.. (they want to leave at 3) by the time we get there, and the pictures to be done it will be her tea time, i will need to feed her there! and i hate people watching me feed her.

im keep playing it over in my head.."will there be somewhere to feed her, will there be seats for her, will boyfriends family get annoyed with me if i want to feed her there and then at 4 before we go home, will they think."gods sake cant she wait an extra half hour" will ther be lots of people there to distract her making her not eat properly"
its really getting to me i hate being like this, your advice is fab and i appreciate it, i am just worried i have some sort of obsession complusion disorder! i cant wait till shes a little older
more flexible etc
i just wanna be normal! isee other woman feeding thier children and it just looks.. normal! im sorry to sound like a complete control freak, but ive always been a bit like that..

i wouldnt so much mind getting up in thenight to feed her, so its not the end of the world! the mainthing that concerns me is that im loosing friends and i cant control how i feel and act! xx

No matter how uncomfortable it may feel, just go out and do it. The more you do it, the better you will get at it. I do feel for you, it's very easy to get all wrapped up in your own little routine and end up not doing much because it is so much easier to stay at home!!!!

i know, i think i do need to get over the intial scarieness of it all!! im gunna either give it a shot today feeding her at this place, or just leave it a little later till i get home and see how things go being a bit off schedule! x