Taking the kids swimming is the most stressful part of parenting because ....

[VoluptuaGoodshag]

• They fight in car on way there
• The leisure centre is way too hot
• They drop their clothes all over the wet minging floor
• There are never enough family cubicles
• The lockers are so fecking narrow you need a JCB to cram all the clothes in BECAUSE you don't have enough coins for an additional locker
• Why do they sodding charge for lockers anyway, it's not as if you can nick them and fling them in a canal with the shopping trollies
• After cramming stuff in and inserting coin, you discover that particular locker is broken and you need to find another working one whilst kids start whining about putting on their goggles like right now
• They immediately swim off in different directions whilst you flounder wondering which one to follow (they can swim but need supervision at 5+6)
• There is a queue for the showers when you get out
• you have to share confined spaces with hairy, wobbling strangers with alarming skin conditions in far too minimal clothing
• the kids start squabbling in the changing rooms coz they are now tired, and cold
• Their goggles get stuck in their hair
• the only vacant changing room is at the farthest point possible from the working locker you discovered earlier
• the kids sit chittering looking at you instead of taking off their swimsuits and drying themselves
• they drop their clothes on the floor again
• they get veruccas and you fight with the rubber sock thingie when trying to get it on and off
• you don't close the shampoo top properly and it leaks all over the bag including the snacks you brought to stop them whinging
• you leave the leisure centre and it's freezing and pissing rain and your entire family are in danger of catching pneumonia coz you left the coats in the car because there is no fecking room in the lockers for em
• you stink of chlorine for three days afterwards no matter how long you stand in the showers washing yourself

I HATE SWIMMING POOLS

It is a joy - sometimes. Toddler really does like it once he is in the pool - takes a float and marches up and down the toddler pool. Pool is nice and warm usually so I it's like a big bath for me to stretch out in - can't do that in the bath at home as my legs are long.
Sleepy toddler once out of the pool also can mean an hour or two of pease.

Even when I take them to lessons I still have to endure the changing room scenario bit. In the actual water itself is the easy bit as they both love it.