So what should I have done??

[OhWhatNoooow]

We have a bedtime rule, where by 8:15 DS1 is in bed. So he gets to stay up 45 minutes longer than the younger ones. He loves this and it makes him feel important.
Today, however, we had to go somewhere and got home at 8pm meaning there was no time for him to stay up longer than the others. OMG, he threw such a tantrum! Well, more like whinging and whining, he said awful things, like I never let him do anything, I don't care about him, I'm a terrible evil mother, I never let him stay up etc...
He made me feel so GUILTY!
Should I have let him stay up longer just so he would get his time or was I right to enforce the proper bed time?
This stuff happens often btw, when things don't go his way or don't work out, he just can't deal with it.
Help....

Staying up late is a privilege for him as he is older - if he's going to whinge like a baby then he goes to bed at the same time as the younger ones. Maybe if he'd asked in a grown up manner ("Please can I stay up a little bit later so I can have my special time") he might have been allowed to?

Have just re-read your last bit - if he constantly whinges like tis then you definitely need to stick to your guns - don't give in to him.

Don't give in Stay strong I would have done (and do) the same.

Agree with Plumm...

You did absolutely the right thing. He's pushing the boundaries - the best thing you can possibly do is be firm about where the boundaries are. And I know all this "I hate you, you're terrible" stuff is heart-breaking to hear, but they never mean it.

Promise the extra time during half-term. It's good to learn to wait for something special. Let him choose from a couple of convenient-for-you days. To be fair you didn't have a plan in place.

The next time this happens, give him a "ticket" which he can give in to you on the day.

Inform him that this will be how it is, unless he has a tantrum in which case tickets can be taken away.