i dont know what to do with my 7 month old!!!

[mandyj9999]

am i a bad mum?? i dont know how to entertain my 7 month old, i get myself into such a state over it, i put her in her bouncer, walker bumbo seat. play funny noises give her toys, and then im lost and only 10 minutes has passed! what can i do with her, i take her out for walks in the pram but i feel i need to stimulate her little mind but i think i bore her so quickly and im driving myself mad!what should i be doing with her? im scared she will end up being a slower developer than other children x

Sounds like you are doing just fine! My DD is 7 months as well and sometimes ten minutes can feel like ten hours.

I play her a lot of music CDs with nursery rhymes on them, she seems to play longer with her toys with it on in the background (although I go to bed at night with "Old Macdonald" in my brain like some kind of torture). She does a lot of time on her mat playing with her toys and I found little things like putting some lentils in a small tupperware container that she can hold and shake helpful. Does your DD have a mat as well as a bouncer? Even putting pillows down so she doesn't roll into things is a game for her, she spends ages examining the pillow fabric.

We go swimming every couple of weeks which she enjoys. Or at least doesn't hate!

If the weather is nice, you could go to the park (I am sure that's an obvious one, sorry!. My DD is just big enough now to sit in the kiddy swing with me holding her. She even likes just watching the other kids playing there.

To be honest, I think we stress ourselves out too much thinking they need endlessly diverse activities. Today my DD spent 15 minutes in her walker, gnawing on her drink bottle and seeing how long she could shake it. It looked utterly boring to me but she loved it.

You definetely don't sound like a bad mum, just one who cares!

Gosh no, you're not a bad mum! My 2nd DS is 7 months now, and I thinks he learns a lot from coming along with me as I do stuff (shopping, cleaning, cooking etc) than he would from playing several hours of peek-a-boo!

To be honest, I didn't do lots with DS1 (now 4) at this age, and he's always been happy and contented and able to entertain himself.

The only thing I do swear by is mother and baby groups... I go to several a week.

thankyou so much for that, i do stress a lot! she has a play mat aswell, she just gets really annoyed with herself, adn starts flinging things around, then i get upset, and what i hate more than anything.. this will sound awful is that when her dad comes home shes all screams and giggles and they have such fun together! and shes so happy to see him and i just hate him for it, and i think she hates me!! but he only sees her for about 2 hours before bed, and has the energy to play constantly, i need to get washings done and housework done and feel bad for leaving her sometimes for 10 mins to get stuff done, we do have a park, but shes not quite sitting up normally yet which worrys me as well, should she be? she cant roll over yet or lift hersle fup and im scared its somthing im doing, im so sorry to rabbit on about this. i play her music but shes more interested in holly and phil on this morning lol, my friend told me she would end up dislexic and have adhd or somthing if i let her watch tv, but it keeps her occupied for a bit!! is that true? do you have anymore children? i think being a first time mum makes it all the scarier too!! xxxx

Try taking a calmer approach and stop being so hard on yourself. It is not your job to entertain her it is your job to help her explore the world and learn about it.

Watch her carefully. See what she is interested in, what she reaches for. Find ways for her to explore these things.Extend her experience by finding similar things for her to explore and experience.

Talk to her lots. Listen to the noises she makes and make them back to her. This is her learning the art of conversation.

Explore your kitchen cupboards together. How many different noises can she make with spoons, pans, tins and packets. How many different textures can you find for her to experience.

Then do the same somewhere else, your bedroom, the garden.

Sit her in the bath with a load of flour and water paste, cornflour and water mixture, paints, anything sloppy really and let her explore it's properties.

Give her a big dish and some dried pasta to hold, move, throw around her etc.

A big box of shredded paper or scrunched up newspaper can be great fun.

Try to work out what she understands and what she is thinking. Discovering the world with a baby can help you to see it through new eyes too.

You're not a bad mum at all! I could have written your post about 9 months ago. I used to worry every now and then that I didn't stimulate DD enough and that I was boring her senseless. But I now realise with glorious hindsight that she was fine. She didn't need to go to baby classes or have loads of specialist toys that made noises and did things. What she most enjoyed, I think now, was watching me going about jobs at home - cooking, putting out the washing, hoovering... She also liked just lying or sitting on a blanket in the park, watching what was going on, and I enjoyed visiting my friends and their babies for tea and cake.

As long as you are talking to her and giving her lots of cuddles she will be fine. I'd say enjoy it while she's still relatively stationary!

thanks girls thats great advice, im going to take her around the house and find things that she likes to play with, she is a very good little girl, shes just got a temper, she loves it when i make noises that she makes back at her, makes her laugh, and shes always laughing at jeremy kyle, i just worry that she will grow up to be a bit slower? total first mum panick, you alwasy think people are doign things better than you, i give her lotsa cuddles all day, and she does seem to like lying on the floor getting her feet played with lol, does it get easier as they get older?? x

mandy - her Dad hasn't been attempting to play with her all day so he has a fresh box of tricks IYSWIM when he comes home. It can be incredibly frustrating to put in all that work only for your little angel to light up when Daddy gets home.

I have DDs who are 6 and 7 as well as DS who is 8mo, I didn't let DD1 watch any tv/dvds until she was over a year old, DD2 was watching them in a bouncy chair from birth because her big sister wanted to. They are both fine. I think a small amount, maybe 1 programme on cbeebies or so doesn't do them any harm, but I am just a Mum, not an expert

I would also say to go out and do what you want to do, your DD at this stage will love just watching everything going on around her. If you are concerned she is not getting enough stimulation you could always go to baby groups like sing and sign or music with mummy etc etc, but TBH I always found the main point of those was to make friends to hang out with. HTH.

It doesn't really get any easier, just different. Instead of worrying about her being bored you will be worried that she will hurt herself moving around, then worry about her eating insects at the park, then scuffed knees, then starting school.....

You get the picture, just chill, she will be fine, DS took a bit longer than my older ones to sit up, but it's fine, they all do things at their own pace and in different orders. For example, DS is now sitting like a dream, but still can't roll over.

i have considered joining groups bt i just dont know if thats my kinda thing, sounds a bit selfish actually dosnt it! i try not to let her watch too much tv, its more the backround noise i think she likes, and seems to love the greggs advert song! lolif the tv isnt on i put the radio on for her, if its too quiet she crys!i have just given her a crunched up piece of magazine and she is loving it!! her eyes just lit up! lol.

the whole dad thing is very frustrating and i end up resenting him for it, im with her 10 hours a day and he seems to get the best of her, only thing that i actually like is at night when she wakes(if she wakes) she will only go back to sleep holding my hand while i sit next to her, if da tyrs it she crys more! yes!! thats terrible i want them to have a close relationship but i just love that she wants me to be soothed back to sleep and not play time daddy!! x

I've found it does help having some specific time of the day to actually play with my 7 month old - the rest of the time he is dragged along while I get on with stuff. Having some specific focussed time each day makes me feel I am doing some proper bonding and development for him. We do:

Treasure basket - a low basket filled with alsorts of sensory and texture things - ribbons, wooden implements, leather, boxes and pots, pegs, keys, plug on a chain, lavender pillow, shower puff thing etc etc.
Building a tower of stacking cups & let him knock them over - he LOVES this and can do it for ages.
He also loves to have a stack of magazines that he can flap about and rip (and try and eat)
Music making stuff - bells, lentil shakers and drums
Baths are always fun - I sometimes put an inch or so in the bottom then lie him down in it and he kick his legs and shoots up the bath and back again (obviously closely supervised)
Reading books and making animal noises
Rolling a ball backwards and forwards
You can't beat playing with a balloon, especially a helium one on a string
Sometimes we both just lie on the floor and wiggle our legs in the air and do a bit of mirroring each others actions
We stand at the bedroom window and watch all the goings on in the road outside

We do also try and get out once a day - park (loves swings), playgroup, meeting friends or even just walking to the post office and chatting with the old ladies (he's such a flirt)

I do find him easier than my DD at this age, she wouldn't let me out of her sight. It soes pass though, once they start moving you'll be hankering after the time you could stick them in one place

It does sound like you're giving yourself a very hard time, and yes, it is much harder as a first time mum.
As long as you talk to her lots, give her lots of love and take care of her basic needs she will be fine.
The world is exciting enough without devising endless stimulating activities for her...my ds's favourite activities are bashing tupperware boxes with wooden spoons and covering himself in the contents of the ironing basket whilst I iron...you don't need to feel guilty for getting on with jobs when you are together - just talk to her and tell her what you are doing, and move her around the house with you so she gets to see different scenery. Try to enjoy your time together instead of worrying that what you are doing isn't good enough, because it passes quickly.

amazing, i love your ideas, that has really helped me, all of you have, im defo gunna try all of these things! the basket thing i love, im actually starting to feel bit better already that there are other things to rather than making rasberrys and bouncing around in front of her!! xx

Consider how it would be if she was a second child? She would spend her life being taken from pilar to post on school/nursery drop offs, shopping, appointments, then watching you do washing, cooking, whatever, very little time for playing and toe wiggling from what I've seen. Chhildren with siblings grow up just fine, don't they?

So go easy on yourself, allocate a litte time each day for dedicated playing and otherwise just do what needs to be done. She'll be happy to take it all in.

very true, my mum always says to me... when i came along my older sister sometimes just ahd to get on with it herself! because she had me to run about after! and shes done just fine. the thing with being a mum is it is all just filled with guilt, confusion and blame isnt it? you never feel like your doing anything right, where as dad alwasy makes it look easy! x

I went out loads when DS was this age, to see friends, etc. Then you can gossip with them and play at the same time. Basically playing all day with them is massively boring IMO!!

He also loved watching me cook at this age, just sitting in the bumbo. I would give him a spoon to blam around and maybe some pans, and he would be happy watching me and hitting stuff.

Oh my DS (16 months) still loves Daddy most. Even though we both work so I don't have the "at home all day with him so he likes daddy more" excuse. The little bugger. He can say "mama" but he insists on calling me Da-da with a cheeky glint in his eye.

Somebody bought me these www.amazon.co.uk/50-Things-Do-Your-Baby/dp/0746099207 which I have found really really helpful when I have exhausted all my own ideas...I'm sure their suggestions are nothing special but when your brain is exhausted and you have sung Horsey Horsey Don't You Stop for the fiftieth time in a row they are really handy at providing inspiration.

I have spent the past 18 months learning about developmental psychology and I can assure you what your little girl needs is love, security, social interaction and a world to explore. You are already giving her all of those. She's pre-programmed to be curious and make connections. Some children might know how to recite a few numbers at one year old, some children might be able to spell their name when they're two years old. That doesn't mean they are ahead in any way which will make a difference once they've been at school for a couple of weeks. In fact children who have been taught do less well than children who have been allowed to learn lots for themselves.

Just keep her happy and secure and enjoy learning about the world with her. Nature will take care of the rest.

You are a great mum. Now relax and enjoy it because before you know it she'll be a stroppy teenager.

lol, thanks for that, feel a lot better, i suppose the more she learns things herself(i wouldnt just leave her lol) then maybe the more she'll not rely on me so much? she isnt a clingy baby, so thats a plus, xxx

Zgaze, that's a great book, I just ordered a copy for myself! See Mandy, we all need inspiration at times!

i might order one too then, cheers lovely ladies x

I know this is an old thread but reading it with interest. Just wondered, how do others manage to read to their 7 month olds given their propensity to grab and tear things? DS2, 7 months, loves to rip, shred then eat any books or other type of paper that come near him, especially any of DS1's books. I sometimes let him have paper/magazines but then have to spend ages fishing bits of paper out of his mouth and watching him like a hawk to make sure he doesn't choke! Would love to read to him more and have him on my lap when I do stories but just not possible unless we want the book shredded! Thoughts??

If you can safely sit her in front of a mirror, that will stimulate her for a while.

If she were to become ADHD or dyslexic it won't be because she watched a bit of tv.

oops, didn't realise it was old. You've probably discovered the mirror by now, lol.

Babies lope kitchen utensils for some reason- give her the whisk, a colander/sieve, tea strainer etc... Some saucepans and wooden spoons. Just look around your kitchen drawers and give her 2/3 things at a time- obviously no sharp things, haha! You don't have to entertain them all the time. We made this mistake with my now 17 yo. You'd run yourself ragged trying to keep them busy.

I'd forgotten about the daddy effect since my first set of children were small. It's very frustrating. I also have the older sibling effect to contend with- which means that I am apparently the only person in my baby's life who is not at all fun. I have to keep reminding myself that it means I'm special in a weird way to be singled out for extra amounts of whinging.

I clearly remember this stage with ds-he used to get very frustrated. It's much easier once they can crawl/walk