Coping with baby and toddler

[KFord]

Hi. I have a six week old and a very boistrous 2.5 year old boy. Any tips for bedtime routines? I am breast feeding, which seems constant in the evening when my toddler needs to go to bed. At the moment, dad deals with toddler whilst I feed the baby. Also any tips for entertaining my toddler whilst I am frequently breast feeding? Do most people breast feed for less time with their second? Thanks.

Put a hook above a door frame, fill a carrier bag with scrunched up newspaper, tie it up and hang it with string to the hook. Give him a wooden spoon and tell him to bash it. He can try and run under it when it swings or see how high he can bash it. Myds loved this. I would even put bells in sometimes and when my dd was in a highchair she would have a go too.

Gosh, its hard isn't it? I do find myself feeding ds2 for shorter, but not sure if that is his nature iyswim. He is very different from his brother.

If I am on my own for bedtime, I try to run a bit of a relay - feed little one (while ds1 watches some telly), get him to sleep them turn to ds1 and get him down as quick as I can, before turning back to ds2 again.

With a boy, I recommend getting them out as much as possible to tire them out - we go to the park or walk every day and often morning and afternoon.

Its inevitable though that there will be some disruption. Ds1's sleep went to pot for the first few weeks but has settled down now. He demanded my attention when ds2 was feeding as well, which is hard. It does get better though!

Don't feel guilty about a bit more telly than you would otherwise normally allow, it can be a godsend!

I have the same age gap as you. The most important thing is to drop your standards. A lot.

Get a moby wrap then baby can live in there - it seems to settle them at bedtime - so you can get toddler to bed without baby in the way iyswim. Don't worry about a bed time routine for baby at this stage.

Also the wrap is marvellous, marvellous, marvellous. Please google it. Babies just go all calm and content when they go in it. Saves dragging the buggy out when you just want to pop to the corner shop.

I'm not a big tv fan but cebeebies should be on most of the time. I know it's not perfect parenting but it can get you through the early days without tears (yours..) I found I used to put Timmy time on when I used to BF as it seemed to last perfectly the legth of a BF. Also dd1 loves a made up story - so if desperate I would conjure up one of those.

Often it's easier to get out for morning or afternoon or both. Staying in all day with no adult company or fresh air will result in the 4 walls closing in. Have you got any friends with children the similar age? The toddlers can run around together and you can sit down and BF/dink tea/eat chocolate.

Also - try and relax as much as possible and enjoy your babies. Don't sweat over the small stuff.

My dd's are now 3 and 1 and I have loved it all. It's huge work and the cleanliness in my house has suffered but us as a family are happy so all is good!

Good luck and well done. x

Definitely try a sling, as Reesie says. You can get lots of types which you can use for feeding - have a look at the Slings & Carriers board if you want advice about specifics. It will mean you can get out of the house with DS / help him get ready for bed etc while still holding/feeding the little one.

If you google 'sling library' you may be able to find somewhere local that can lend you a sling, or google 'sling hire' to find companies which will let you hire ones to try.

i read a book to my toddler (1.5)sitting next to me when im breastfeeding the other one (5 weeks) and it seems to work. Otherwise i do keep on talking to the toddler:

• wow, thats a big truck you've got... now, show me the wheels? and the exhaust? etc... (while i breatsfeed)

etc....

can't help for bedtime routine as i m lucky to have DP with me every night (but that shouldnt be long before he'll decide he can start going to the pub again!!)

when i had my second my first dd was 21mth..the best way u found was to a top up feed while my first ate dinner at 5ish.

then upstairs for a bath. in the end i used to put my 2nd dd in the bath with my first as it kept her happy at that time of day..used the bath support for her and my first dd sat the other side.

The both out and pjs.. then a bedtime story while i bf or bedtime story for my first dd while my 2nd sat in bouncy chair/laid in cot or sometimes cried!

Then feed baby once 1st dd was settled.

I now have my 3dc (6wks old) and haevnt formed a way thats works for bedtime!

But i have a moby wrap this time round and it is very useful..althou my ds never stays awake in it?? Not sure if that will be a good thing in the long run!?

Some ideas for while you are feeding the baby - read a book to the older one, tell him a story from your head (my DS especially loves ones with repeated bits he can join in with, like the gingerbread man - "Run, run as fast as you can.." or the wolf and 3 little pigs - "I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll BLOW your house down!"), or sing to him - or just chat, as long as he has your attention he will be happy.

For bedtime - I usually just cart along the baby and fit in with the older one, for example have the baby in my lap while we do bedtime story, or kicking on the change mat while doing DS's teeth. If you want to bath them both, you can do both at the same time with a bit of practise - put the older one in first, then get the baby ready and put them in using a bath seat or stand; then get baby out first too, the older one will probably be happy to get a nice long play in the bath. You can also feed the baby while the older one is in the bath, if you put a chair in the bathroom or sit on the loo. Also the toddler might like "helping" to put the baby to bed, mine sometimes likes to come along and switch on her white noise thing or find her dummy, he is a bit noisy sometimes but she just has to get used to that!

I was quite similar to steph1512. I always bf DD2 (and next time around DS) around 5 / 5.30 while DD1 was having tea. Then up to bath together at 6pm. DD1 undressed and in first, then DD2 into bath support, washed and out & dressed while DD1 played in the bath. Once DD2 dressed I'd put her into bouncy chair and rock it with my foot while I read to DD1 (or if necessary I'd hold DD2 on one side while reading), I'd then do final feed and settling DD2 after DD1 was in bed. Another alternative - when I had DS my DDs were 2 & 4 and after bath we all used to pile onto my bed, i'd bf DS while DDs would go and choose and bring books for me to read to them. Then I'd pop DS into bouncy chair for 10 mins or so while I settled girls, then finish feeding and settling him after they were in bed. It was all exhausting. I started taking them all up earlier (5.45 ish) so I could get through it and have them all into bed soon after 7 ish as everything just seemed to take me so long and leave me so drained.

As it happened I bf DD2 and DS slightly longer than DD1.

I read books a lot while bf, we worked out positions (whether all propped up on sofa or on my bed) where we could sort of snuggle up together and read and feed and I dropped my standards and expected little. If we were all happy and calm and lying on my bed together reading, it wasn't the end of the world if the girls weren't dressed until nearly lunchtime and other stuff wasn't done. I also became v adept at feeding anywhere anyhow (at playgroups / parks / play areas etc to keep DD1 happy and active.

During the first few months you just have to make your life as easy as possible. If a little too much CBeebies is watched then it isn't the end of the world. Do what you can to get through, those first few months are so tough, but it really does get easier

Thanks so much for all your ideas - will be trying all of them!