Why do I have childcare phobia?

[LittleMumSmall]

My lovely DS is 6 months and ever since he was born I have had a fear about leaving him with anyone other than DH.

I've had two 'days off' (i.e. four hours out of the house when he is in DH's care) since birth and DH thinks it's time for me to consider childcare, but I honestly can't face it - it just feels wrong. No family near us to help out (but to be frank, I'm not sure I'd trust them if they were!!)

My own mum managed alone with me and my sister and she has long-term issues with insomnia, depression and alcohol. Like my mum, I'm planning to start trying for another baby soon - will I be making a big mistake if I don't start trying to trust someone else to care for DS soon? Does anyone else feel this way about childcare?

Thanks for any feedback, mumsnetters x

Ah, I get it thisisyesterday.

I suppose we all have different levels of apprehension/possessiveness etc when our babies are concerned. I've always been quite relaxed to leave my babies with my mother and mil and when they were older I was happy to use a nursery.
But I'm apprehensive about other things (which I won't list )...

Wow, thank you for all the advice! Sorry for disappearing - has been a bit of a day...

In response, I will not need to return to work and I do feel like being a mum is exactly what I want right now. I seem to be surrounded by lots of mums who are returning to work/use childcare and I think this has made me question my choice.

DH and I definitely need more time together and he is concerned that I do too much sometimes and don't ask for a break (I do need to work on this!!) - he would be happy if he felt that I am not stressed out and thinks I shouldn't rule out childcare completely.

FWIW, I think I should probably relax and be comfortable with my decision - the constant 'should I, shouldn't I?' is probably causing most of the stress!

Thank you for the very valuable comments x