Breast Feeding....

[Aimeesmum]

Hi, I'm Sam, and I'm nineteen. I had my daughter, Aimée, in October last year. From the very first day I was pregnant I had every intention on breast feeding. I knew that it would give my child the best start in life, and after reading all the baby mags, that it would help us to bond.
When I first mentioned feeding to my boyfriend, he naturally assumed that I was going to breastfeed, and was very supportive to the idea. He had started to read my pregnancy mags when they were left around the house, so he knew it would be best for our child.
When I was at his Mum and Dad's house we were talking about things we were going to buy that day...and his mum said, 'we'll have to go buy the steriliser and everything this week'. Tony, my fiancé then said, 'oh yes, we have seen a good one that we wish to buy, as the breast pump, etc will fit in it'. Her reaction was 'YOU'RE going to breast feed!!!'. I said yes, and was forced to listen to a speach regarding not producing enough milk..and his father suggested that my baby would not like my milk!!I was rather annoyed by the reaction I had recieved, and this made me even more determined to suceed! From my own family and family friends, I recieved more encouragement than expected, and a neighbour of mine was very supportive. However, I still recieved comments from my fiancé's family about it not being healthy, and told that I would not produce enough milk, and that I better buy some formula 'just in case it didn't work out!' You would never have believed that women had been breats feeding their babies for hundreds of years, and was one of the most natural things in the world.
I went in to hospital to be induced, and ended up having a caesarian. as soon as we had been taken back to the room and my daughter and I had been cleaned up I gave her her first breastfeed. Aimée was extremely alert and latched on perfectly, and took both breasts for the next hour.
Since then we have never looked back. We had a few problems when we developed thrush, but I was determined that I was going to carry on breatsfeeding. My daughter is now nine months old, however I am now recieving comments such as 'you're not still breastfeeding are you?' 'I bet she bites you a lot', etc...I just ignore them..and say that I will carry on breastfeeding her for as long as I want. What annoys me is when people who have not breastfed assume that breastfeeding is a horrible process that you do because you feel you have to. I enjoy breastfeeding my daughter, and I think it gives us a special bond that you can't get any other way. I am not saying that you do not bond when you bottle feed, I know that you do, and I am not saying that bottle feeing is wrong, but what annoys me is that people assume bottle feeding is better than breastfeeding, and in my opinion its not. I would HATE having to wash out bottles constantly!!!
All I have to say is that...why don't all these people leave us breastfeeding mums alone...and if they haven't got anything nice to say then they shouldn't say anything at all!!

Hello Sam
I admire you for carrying on with the breastfeeding even though you had such a negative response from your in-laws. I was brought up in a bottle-feeding family and my mother also suggested that I did not have enough milk for my baby. Whenever she cried, my mum would say "She's hungry poor thing!". She told me that my milk would dry up if I did any exercise and so on. But she was only repeating what she had been told when she was a young mother. Back then nearly everyone bottlefed as there were a lot of myths about breastfeeding, such as your nipples not being sterile and so on. Luckily attitudes are changing and breastfeeding is now the 'norm'.

Your boyfriend sounds very supportive of you, which is terrific! Mine came from a breastfeeding family and so he naturally wanted me to breastfeed but he said that it was ultimately my decision. If I didn't have his support, there would have been a couple of times when I would have given up.

However you are lucky that breastfeeding has gone so well for you. My breasts leaked continously, I could not feed in public as they squirted just about everywhere! I also suffered from painful nipples and I got mastitis - so I can see why some mothers decide to bottle feed. I weaned my baby onto the bottle at 3 months as I'd had enough. It was a pain having to wash all the bottles, but at least my husband could have a turn at feeding her, and I got my life back!

Unfortunately with parenting, most people are going to give you unwanted advice. It's a contentious issue! But by the sounds of it you are doing a great job, keep it up!

Good on you Sam. Just go on ignoring the comments about "are you still breastfeeding - it's only ignorance. Look around on this site and you'll find other breastfeeding threads with mums who fed for years!

H, thanks to both of you for posting a message! I'm glad that there are other people out there who have had the same problems as me. Yes, you do get problems with breastfeeding...I did suffer with mastitis, for a couple of days...thrush for weeks, and sore cracked nipples. However, even though I could've cried at the pain when I suffered from tose problems, I just thought about thr good I was doing, and once it was all over, the bond that we had! Some mothers feel they are unable to breatsfeed...I remember in hospital I heard a new mum say 'I'd breast feed if I had a good figuire and good breasts, but I don't want people seeing my body...it's awful'. I sat thinking how my body was not exactly model material, and why would people be seeing your body? It's not like you have to take all your clothes off to breast feed is it!!? I've never really had a problem feeing in public, and up until now haven't had any complaints about feeding Aimée in restraunts,etc...to be honest I wanted someone to say something, as I would have enjoyed the argument!!lol

Well done, aimeesmum for persevering with your breastfeeding, with so much negativity to contend with.
My third child is just 7 weeks old, and breastfeeding this minute! My other 2 children were also breastfed.
I don't know why I made the decision to feed the children myself, as we tend to be led by others, as my mum, nor my sister, or any friends fed their children themselves. It just seemed the right thing for me to do.
I always tell others though, that if you can get through the first 2 weeks of feeding, that you can get through anything, and to persevere.
After this time, its a breeze!!

Well done, & keep up the good work!
Love Julie xxx

Yes!! I'm not the only one who "wanted to have the argument" with someone over breastfeeding in public. I fed my daughter on a train once, with a businessman sitting opposite me. I never found it difficult to be discreet when feeding, and made a special effort on this occasion to avoid embarrassing the poor man. However, as I was feeding her, I was rehearsing my arguments in my head, which I never had to use - maybe the man had a breast-feeder at home, or maybe he was just sensible, and realised there was nothing to be embarrassed about.
On the subject of support, I was living in England when I had my first daughter, and in Wales when I had my second, and I found the support from midwives, HV etc broadly the same, the main difference was that the ones in Wales were so excited to find someone who they didn't have to cajole into bf-ing, it's so unusual here. In fact, when my second was not putting on weight (in comparison to the charts), I was the one who wanted to give her formula, they were the ones telling me to wait, and give it time.

Well done Aimeesmum for having gone on and done it in the face of such adversity. It is hard to believe that there are people with SUCH strong views against breast feeding,it shows how powerful the milk companies were/are in convincing the general public and many health pro fessionals that formula is better.What is even worse is that they are still doing it in developing countries where babies and children are dying through lack of breastfeeding.Long live the Nestle boycott!!

Best thing is to keep quiet, treat breastfeeding like the best kept secret as you know you are doing the very best thing possible for your child and feel smug inside. Don't even try to explain it's not worth it. Now breastfeeding my second child just over 1 yr old breastfed first child til 2 years old peer pressure is difficult but orgs like Association of Breastfeeding Mothers are really excellent.

Bron, I live in Newport - so probably not that far from you, if you went to Caerphilly. Having thought about it, I suppose I didn't get that much active support, but then I didn't actually go out looking for it - this was my second, and I just sort of carried on where I'd left off with the first! But, as I said, they were so pleased to have a bf-ing mum, I think the support would have been there.

Aimeesmum - great to hear a success story - I am really shocked at the total ignorance of some people. Don't they realise that it is downright insulting to suggest a child won't like it's mothers own milk. And yet is it is going to prefer cow's milk? I am sure you don't make personal comments about his bodily functions - why on earth do people feel they have a right to give so called advice on breastfeeding? Grr!!!
Glad it all worked out though - and don't be in a hurry to stop either - read the 'Extended Breastfeeding' topic on this board - can't remember exactly where it is. I am still b/feeding my son aged 2.

It is under Other Subjects - Extended breastfeeding. Lots and lots of info there ... I won't repeat it here and spare boring everyone else to death!

Aimeesmum - I had a similar experience with my MIL. It was really down to lack of knowledge and perhaps a little bit of not being able to get more involved in feeding etc with a very longed for grandchild. Nobody in my husbands side of the family had breastfed except for one who only fed for a month and I was an all kind of new thing. However once we had had a chat and she new more than everything was ok and now she is very supportive and very behind the new mum and baby in the family who has also decided to breastfeed. Good for you sticking to your guns, it can be difficult with so much pressure. But I have loved feeding my son (still do at 10 months) and will carry on until 12 months and start weaning (I want to try for another baby early part of next year so would like me back for those short months) although I know I will miss it but I will breastfeed all out babies.

You know, I posted a msg on another thread about a health professional in my area who claimed that there was no real need to improve b/feeding support because now breast feeding is back in 'fashion'(his words) bottle feeding will naturally fall by the wayside. At the time I was annoyed that someone could be so dismissive of the lack of support from our health board for b/feeders. However, I am so pleased that people like Joe and Aimeesmum are actually changing things in their families that may have remained through this generation and next. Now you have breast fed you will be able to encourage and support your children when they make a desicion about feeding their childen. Also, you have educated the other members of your families by showing them that it's not a bad thing to do, which will hopefully change their view about the whole feeding issue - so maybe the old so-and-so wasn't so wrong after all - well done!!

I would just like to say thanks to everyone who has posted a message on here for their great advice!! I am determined to carry on breastfeeding Aimee, as I know it is best for her. I attended a bbq at the weekend, at MIL house, and was greated my many 'you're not still breastfeeing her are you' comments...I held my head up high and said "yes!!!!". I was asked how ong I intended to feed her for, and I replied,'until I want to stop'. I felt good that I had stood up for myself, and my daughter!!!
What I don't get about these people, is that a relative of theirs is almost eighteen months old...and he still drinks formula...out of a bottle, and cannot drink properley out of a cup, or feed himself properley! I think they should concern themselves with him and his mum teaching him how to use a cup!!!

I get the same comments but most people dont even know when Im feeding and when we are out and about my son doesnt ask for a feed unless he is tired he is quite happy with his water, out of a cup I must add (he has never had a bottle). I think people still have a problem with the old booby thing and not the fact you are feeding your child. Who cares what they think.

I have been reading lots of different threads about breast feeding in the U.K. and it makes me glad that I am living in the states right now! The support from everyone over here is amazing. I bottle fed my first child, who is now 7, because she was not gaining weight and everyone thought it would be best to switch, this was only after two weeks. I now have a 3 month old who is bfeeding and it is a wonderful experience. The support started before I had even given birth talking with nurses and my doctor about it. Then in the hospital there is a lactation consultant always available to help if you are having any problems. After you leave the hospital they send you away with booklets and a chart you can fill out with how often you are feeding, how often they have wet nappies etc.(which gave me something to show to the pediatrician when my daughter was not pooping after a week) as well as giving you the number of the lactation consultant that you can call anytime with any questions you may have.They also tell you that you can bring your baby into the doctors clinic any time to be weighed if you are worried about that,no appointment needed.
I worked in a child care center for three years mostly with babies and found that most parents wanted to breastfeed their children for the first year and there were a lot of mothers breastfeeding until age 2 and later. Over here breastfeeding is promoted heavily and I have often heard people putting down mothers who bottle feed.
I can breastfeed my daughter wherever I like in public without worrying about someone saying something to me. I have taken my daughter to the cinema with me, as do many mothers.
Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing. You should breastfeed for as long as you want and don't worry about what other people think, you know you are doing the best thing for your baby. It's natural, it's free, it's best for your baby's health, you can go anywhere and not worry about preparing and heating up bottles and it just makes you feel great knowing that you are providing for your baby.

Hi Yazz! It sounds like the US is a great place for mothers who wisg to breastfeed. I have to admit that I have never been asked to move when breatsfeeding, but I would have refused if I had been asked. I don't know why people see breastfeeding as a taboo, because if it wasn't for breastfeeding the human race would never have lasted long!! I think is very natural...in fact birth and breatsfeeding are the two most natural things in the world!! I would have loved to take my daughter to the cinema when she was first born, as she was slepping well, and it would have meant that my fiance and I could have gone out together.
I hope in time that breastfeeding will be more openly talked about, and that people will stop looking at a breastfeeding mum like they are getting a peverse pleasure from breastfeeding. Yes, breatsfeeding is pleasurable, but it's an emotional pleasure, not a physical one, as it helps you to bond with your baby.

Hi. I waslucky enough to have a c-section awake, so the drugs that had been given to me were not an issue. In hospital most mothers on the ward were breastfeeding, including me. The midwifes in there were very supportive and gave me good advice. It is mainly family that seemed to have a problem with me breastfeeding, and the fact that I haven't stopped yet (even though my daughter is only just nine months old!) I am going to university next year to train as a midwife, and afterwards I hope to train as a breastfeeding councellor, as I'd like to help all the mums out there who want to breastfeed their baby despite negative comments made to them whilst pregnant and after birth.