Having a bad day....need to vent

[kittycat37]

Oh dear - I feel like a bad Mum today. I have a 4wk old and 3yr old. I adore them but today I've hit a low, so apologies for vent. After about 3hrs sleep last night have been on go all day, alternating breast feeding with trying to entertain 3yr old, nappy changing baby, feeding 3yr old etc etc DH been at work from 7am and will be back at 11pm tonight so have had no adult interaction apart from tiny chit chat in playground.....anyway, this evening I just got so snappy and irritable with 3yr old because was at end of my tether - she really wasn't being naughty, just bit whiny - feel terrible for being so irritable. As soon as she went to bed baby started crying although have fed her loads in the last 2hrs - have just made her bottle of formula in desperation and in truth I want a break from feeding again - feel so shit though, am also now drinking some beer to numb tiredness and nagging sore throat - also as a teenager I veered between anorexia/bulimia and in last week I've felt them coming back (not severely, binge eating though, feeling out of control with it) apologies for this moan - but writing it down is lessening the stress somewhat - I JUST WANT A DAY OFF MOTHERHOOD (What's wrong with me??????)

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It will pass, it will pass, it will pass, it will pass...

You are completely normal but you are knackered because you are doing one of the hardest jobs in the world. And your DH is doing a long day so you've done it by yourself today, which offers no end in sight.

Do one thing at a time, do as little housework as you can bear - your house will be clean again, but your DCs will never be 4wks and 3yo again - and rest whenever you can (eyes closed, lie down).

Beebies is your friend, as is getting out every/most days.

It will pass, it will pass...

Nothing wrong with you. 'cept maybe a touch of PND? Is there anyone you can ring tomorrow to come around and give you a break?

PS sorry not to be more constructive, but other problems will probably appear better or lessen as you begin to get more sleep. That's why lack of sleep is used to torture people - because it can break you! And as your baby sleeps more and feeds less often, you can get out by yourself more, even if it's just a walk round the block.

Nothing wrong with you - you are tired and under the weather and need a wee break.

You are doing well caring for 2 kids. Everyone struggles.

Could you afford a bit of help at all?

3 yr olds are hard going and so are newborns. And you are on your own today. ANyone would struggle. There will be better days. Try to get through the next few hours, rather than thinking of having to get through the whole day. And let you hv/gp know things are tough atm.

You're not having a bad day, sounds normal for most mums, I know it was for me. The sleep deprivation and exhaustion with two LO's made me very down some days. I agree with the above, beebies is def your friend, get out for a short time, will your older one go to pre-school soon? Get a friend, relative round to take your older one out. A bottle of formula won't stop you breastfeeding. If you stil have the feelings over binge eating in a week you should go to the Dr, and talk things through. You will have days that are tough, don't beat yourself up about it. It's normal to find it hard, cos it's flippin hard work but that feeling does pass. Hope you have a better day tomorrow.

i'm full of admiration for you..sounds like you're doing a wonderful job. i have a 2.6 dd and am expecting dc2 in aug and am absolutely terified of how much hard work it'll be... but us mums have hidden strengths eh?! you'll get though it, as millions have done before us and will after us - try to be a bit easier on yourself - and demand DH give you at least a 2 hour break at the weekend

Poor you.

If it helps, you sound normal to me. I too have days like this (ditto the binge eating, its been years since I had weirdy food issues but I still always find myself doing this when I am not coping well with stress). I am shouty mum at times: who isn't?

You need a break. Its bloody hard when there is no adult company, be kind to yourself. Lower your expectations.

Aim to get through the day without losing your marbles. It won't be long until this is second nature and you will be back to being able to do it with patience and smiles sgain.
I think the first 6-8 weeks (especially if BF) are an endurance test, personally.

Gosh - thanks so much for all the support - I'm really touched at all the replies and all the really really reassuring comments. I fell asleep with baby for an hour and a half earlier with baby and feel a bit better now and DH has just got home and taken baby into other room. I know it will get easier eventually.
Thanks so much - MN is such a morale booster at times like this xxx

Hope today is going better for you kitty.

Hope you're having a better one today Kitty. I had a great day with my 11 month old yesterday, but today I'm thinking "how long til he moves out???!!!!" and I guess with 2 the highs and lows are even more dramatic. Totally agree with LittleLebowski that the first 2 months are an endurance test!!

Thanks nickytwotimes and Lozario - yes have had much much better day today. It was older DD's day at nursery til 3pm and DH has been around quite a lot and very supportive. I know there'll be some more difficult days to come though in the next few weeks /months (years???!!).
(LOL Lozario) xx