If DS won't eat his dinner, he can go without!!

[Humdrumhappiness]

DS is 2 1/2. He is a very fussy eater, not only that but he'll eat something one day and not the next. It is a right pain.

Tonight if he doesn't eat his chicken, he will be going to bed hungry. No fussing, no last minute menu change, no pudding, no fruit.

Tell me I'm doing the right thing. If not tell me your suggestions.

Personally I couldnt send a two and a half year old to bed hungry. I can't even do that to my four year old.

Can you offer him a choice of two things each time? or if not can you offer him the chicken he first refused before he goes to bed as a snack?

Manky - I usually have to do that, but I'm sick of pandering to him. I normally have a long list of options which he refuses.

I was hoping that the sooner I take a tough stance the better as bad habits die hard. It is going against my nature, hence posting and really I was after reassurance.

I'll offer it back to him if he's hungry later, I know he likes it - he's just being contrary.

I think you have to offer food something like 20 times before it is accepted.

i am afraid that using food as a punishment is wrong and abhorrent, making a child go to bed hungry is bad.. also, i imagine he'd be up in the night crying with unger

2.5 year olds expend lots of energy and need decent amounts of food

get him involved in food.. choosing what he likes.. letting him taste as you cook.. when you go shopping, take him and let him choose the apple/bun/cookie etc and let him feel involved

of course he is being contrary.. he is a 2.5 year old, that is the very definiont of a toddler !!
they are egos on legs

also, i would not expect dinner to be the alst thing eaten, i would offer a supper later .. fruit/toast/milk as it is a long time until breakfast presuiming dinner is 5ish

He's very young.

A long list of options may be confusing to him.

I would tell him way before the meal what the two options are and then remind him again every 10/15 mins and then ask him to choose.

He may not be hungry. He may be being contrary, or if like my DS at that age, he may just want to exert some decision making over things in his life.

Its hard though... I just cannot send my DS to bed hungry.

We do this with DD. She is allowed fruit between meals, or sometimes yoghurt, at all times, but if she doesn't make a good attempt at her dinner then she has no treats at all.

End of story.

agree with lulu about supper - DS has always had a snack before bed (as did I as a child, we had tea then supper before bed).

Little and often....

Are portion sizes ok? Some little ones get daunted by too much on the plate.

Don't give him options, give him 3 separate foods on his plate and don't jumble them up, and make sure he's eaten and enjoyed at least two of them in the past fortnight.

If he doesn't eat anything, offer it to him again 20 minutes before bed. He'll eat something.

Just seen that you won't offer fruit instead. OTT IMO.

I'm not punishing him, I want to feed him. I do not want to pander to his demands to only eat chocolate spread. Lulu - yes I do all that.

my ds is very like your ds, although he is almost 5 so it is easier to negotiate with him.

i dont offer dofferent options at dinner. dinner is set down to everyone and if it isn't eaten there is no issue made of it but there isn't pudding. however i introduced a supper for ds1 after bathtime (cereal/toast/fruit) so that i know he isn't going to bed hungry.

ds knows it is a separate meal and isn't conditional on him eating his dinner so it isn't like he is getting another option for his dinner. although i can see how this can make it easier for him to refuse dinner because he knows there will be supper later. but for me i prefer to know he has eaten before bed. otherwise his 3pm snack would have to last him a very long time.

Lilred- that was the kind of thing I was attempting. The fruit thing is academic, because he's refusing that too.

He's not ill either.

different

Is it just chocolate spread he wants or anything sweet? Or anything other than "dinner" food?

DD is sometimes a bit fussy in that some days she eats all her dinner with relish, other days she turns up her nose at exactly the same dinner.
I give her a reasonable amount of time to eat it - sometimes she gets going eventually.
Then I clear it away - but I still give yoghurt and a choice of fruit. Because i don't want yoghurt and fruit to be a "reward" for eating something "less attractive". So she gets it regardless of how much of her main course she has eaten.

He won't eat dinner food manky, or bread unless it has chocolate spread on it.

He's usually fussy, but tonight is worse than normal.

Zapostrophe, I like the sound of that. Trouble is mine will eat and like something one day, the next day it is poison. That is why I want to do something about it.

I feel your pain and also waiver between taking a tough line and offering DS (2.3) diiferent options.
I do what Tabitha does re yoghurt and fruit 'tho.
Is he being lazy? DS actually ate a lot more today when I fed him, left to his own devices he wouldn't touch either lunch or dinner.
I don't tend to give him anything much between lunch and dinner other than fruit, perhaps a biscuit if it's a late dinner.
He still has a beaker of milk at night so I don't really worry about him being hungry at night.
I know it can be totally infuriating. We haven't cracked it in any way so can only offer you my sympathy. Will keep looking in on this with interest!
I think DS1 is just not very interested in food.
Also HV did say at his 2yr check you have to take in to account how much they get over a month say, rather than a day and it usually works out enough.

but i don;t think he will associate the sense of being hungry, with having refused to eat chicken when he ate it previously... agree that chocolate spread on bread is not a good dinner day in day out.. it must be really frustrating

sticker charts? i thikn there has been some v good suggestions

you're doing the right thing

I agree with colditz

If he was truly hungry he would eat something, I doubt starving kids in africa are fussy eaters

have you tried not giving a snack between lunch and dinner? This was a big part of getting my Ds1 to eat his meals.

Don't despair. Ds1 is now 7 and just polished off 3 spare ribs in homemade rib sauce, a corn on the cob 'lolly' (kids really love these), 2 potato waffles ajnd half a tin of beans, followed by a chocolate mousse, and this is 2 hours after a massive sausage roll at 3.15!

before I get piled in on - the boy is a rake.

I've started just giving milk or juice when he gets up from his sleep at about 4.00, no snack. I want to get him hungry by dinner time. I just don't want him so hungry he's grumpy and too hungry to eat. It is a difficult balance.

Ah

Now.

I have a theory about starving kids.

Kids who are starving tend to be in communities where very limited food is available, and very little food variety is available. They might well be fussy eaters but they are never called upon to expand their repetoir so nobody ever finds out.