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7yo going to shop alone?

5 replies

MrsWobbleTheWaitress · 09/05/2010 17:01

Ok, not a very accurate thread title, sorry.

DD1 is 7 in a couple of weeks. She's very capable, sensible, responsible etc. for her age. I often walk her to the end of the road that the shop is on and she goes the rest of the way on her own or with her 5yo sister (also very sensible for her age), gets what she's getting (she always has to get a precise item - no standing and picking and choosing IYSWIM), pays and comes back out. We also do this if we're in the car - I stay in the car with the little ones while she and her 5yo sister go in.

Lately I've been letting her go ahead on her scooter while I walk behind. I've let her cross the roads she has to cross on her own, well ahead of me, and I can see how sensible she is about them (they're not busy roads at all). I get to the shop about the time she's finished paying, and she scoots past me back home while I walk behind. She's much faster at scooting than I am at walking, so she's virtually doing it on her own (or with her sister).

The walk in total is 1/3 mile there and 1/3 mile back.

What should I be worrying about when making a decision about when to let her and her sister go on their own?

I'm not asking for what you would do, just what I ought to be considering, because at the moment, the only thing I can think of to stop me doing it, is road crossing (which I don't think I need to worry about) and stranger danger (at what age do you just accept that this is a danger and you have to just let them go?).

If I let them go on their own, would it make sense to give them a PAYG mobile in case of emergency? Would the 7yo be safer going alone than with a 5yo or vice versa? 5yo is also very good at crossing the road, btw.

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castleonthehill · 09/05/2010 18:28

I would let her go but not with her sister. I would not let her sister go until she is old enough to go on her own. I don't think it is fair for a 7 year old to be in charge of a younger child if something did happen she would have to live with it for the rest of her life. I wouldn't give her a phone as long as she knows what to do if things go a bit wrong and can give the shop keeper your no. she would be home before she could call you and someone might pinch the phone. I have been letting my 8 year go to the shops for about a year.

MrsWobbleTheWaitress · 09/05/2010 20:11

That had occurred to me, actually, castle, about the responsibility of having her younger sister with her.

I don't want to not let her go on her own just because I'm terrified of it, when I don't seem to be able to find a rational reason for being terrified - other than normal PFB growing up things!

Does anyone else have any thoughts?

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sunnydelight · 10/05/2010 06:39

I'm sorry but I'm horrified by the "5 yo is very good at crossing the road" comment. Children cannot accurately judge speed and distance until much older (a child's peripheral vision and depth perception isn't fully developed until around the age of 10). I really hope you think this one through further.

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nooka · 10/05/2010 06:59

The biggest danger in this scenario is the road, and only you know how busy it is, how fast cars go, how easy it is to see (both for your dd and for drivers). I know what you mean about feeling happier about the two of them being together - I have felt the same about my two, but I think that expecting a just seven year old to chaperone a 5 year old across the road out of your sight is a very bad idea to be honest, regardless how sensible they both are. I don't think having a phone would make any difference at all - in fact sadly it would probably just add the risk of them being mugged.

I think that what you are doing now is fine, so long as you can see them crossing, and are close enough to yell (and be heard) if there was a danger they hadn't seen, or if either of them fell and hurt themselves (the scooter raising that risk). I'd wait at least another year or so before letting your just seven year old go on her own, and probably a bit longer before letting the five year old go with her. I'm not totally sure they would want to go on their own without knowing you are there as backup in any case.

MrsWobbleTheWaitress · 10/05/2010 10:25

Sunny - The roads are not 'through roads' and there is no requirement to judge speed of cars. Besides, she's so scared of cars, she won't cross unless there are none in her sight whatsoever! Sorry to horrify you! I think I know my children and the roads near my house better than you do though.

nooka - thanks. I do agree about it not being fair on the 7yo to have the 5yo with her. She is keen to go on her own and, like I said, pretty much does it anyway - pretty much as soon as we've started she's out of my sight (with my blessing). She gets off the scooter to cross the road and they are pretty self-righteous with other children about only ever walking across a road - never running/skipping etc.

I am appreciating the comments - they are helpful! Anyone else?

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