4 yr old & just given the ultimate "no party" threat

[Shivs1974]

Got 2dds who share a room quite happily - nearly 5 and 3.5

DD2 will have op in a few wks to remove tonsils & adenoids and doesn't get "quality sleep" - hence op. So is constantly tired and recently started having day time naps after 1.5 yrs of no naps.

DD1 doesn't need as much sleep and constantly wakes her sister up. We have moved her into the playroom for 2 nights to stop her - and this worked as a deterrent. However this morning she was back in her room & woke her sister up....I came downstairs and gave the ultimate threat of no party (she's 5 in a few wks) & asked her to be silent. I left the room & she immediately spoke.....so in haste & disbelief I said "No party"

So what do I do?? She's generally a really good girl, kind & considerate (obviously has her moments like all children) but on this one (ie waking her sister up) she just doesn't seem to get it. Her party was going to be at home - 5 friends back for tea after school with some games - and she was really looking forward to it.

I know you shouldn't go back on your word but I do feel that perhaps I overreacted and should have chosen something else to have withdrawn. What should I do, as I'm feeling a pretty rubbish Mum??

Don't feel bad. It was a spur of the moment thing you said- we've all done it.
I would explain to her how her sister is feeling and how you need her to be a big girl to help. Maybe keep her in the playroom- but not as a punishment- as a treat.
And of course you'll let her have the party!
FWIW, on my 6th party I was a bit showy-off and was sent to bed- and had to listen to everyone having fun downstairs!

Don't beat yourself up, you have overreacted but there is time to change it.

Perhaps she could earn her party back again by doing something good, but make it reasonably easy as she should get her party.

Then think of more reasonable sanctions, DS has his nintendoDS taken away for a day if he repeatedly carries on doing something he has been told not to, so it is serious enough for him to notice the difference, but actually probably better for him not to have it the odd day.

Yep, she needs the chance to "earn it back".

Explain you are cross and were a bit harsh, however she was disobedient etc...

Let her earn it back.

Agree you just have to set up a situation where she can easily earn it back.

As an aside... if you have a separate playroom, does that mean they could actually have a room each? Maybe DD1 is starting to get frustrated with the arrangement.

Thank you, thank you....that's what I thought but I guess I just needed some wise MNers to tell me!

MarineIguana - I had thought that perhaps she could move into the playroom on a more permanent basis (unless guests stay as it's got a sofabed in there) but she wasn't keen and prefers being with her sister.

She slept in her bedroom with DD2 last night and didn't wake her up. She got lots of praise for that!! She found it funny that her sister doesn't actually sleep on her pillow!

Thank you once again!