How do i find me in all this.....?

[butterflymummy]

I am a mum to 4 lovely, gorgeous and beautiful children. I love them...i really do...BUT i just can't find me in all of this. I feel as though i wake up each day with patience and lose it all within 1 min of being with 1 or all of them. They are aged 2,4,7and 8 and i am currently on my own as my husband is away and will be for another 3 weeks.
I have coped so far for 4 months and have had visitors but not help. I do not have a hands on mum or in law. I have tried au pairs(in the plural as it always fails) and i have enjoyed searchingfor myself during the few spare moments i have. I have found Yoga and i have found a deep yearning for more. But how do i experience this and find the patience i need in reall life. I am slightly lost and i know i am tired. I am searching for kind words of wisdom or maybe a slap accross the face to just help me get on with it. I am just sending this out there.....with love to you allx

couldn't pass by.

I think you are finding it/you, slowly, by the things you are doing, and i think that being aware of your situation is a big step!!

Sleep and rest if you are able to conciously find more would help. I know thats prob impossible, but just extra?
You have a very very demanding household, i take my hat off to you. Patience, well i think you can only do what you can, and i suspect you now see the end of a long road with yuor dh coming home soon!!

Keep posting o your thread, you will get lots of help and supprt. x

At the moment you have four young children, and because they are young they are demanding and require a lot of your energy, but try to remember that they won't always be this young and demanding, as they get older you will slowly find you have more time for yourself.

Do you get time in the evenings for yourself once they are all asleep?

For me personally I have to have my me time in the evening, when I am off-duty as a mim, so I am very strict about bedtimes and have trained DS so that once he is in his room at 7:30pm he is not to come out again unless it is an emergency. Then I get to find some 'me' time and be my own person for a bit.

Good luck, you sound like you are doing amazingly, on your own with four young children, but you are right to want to find you in all of it.

I wanted to use this time to find more patience and to be a better mother. i wanted to discover the mother i believe i can be and not the one i am. I want to accept me for me but for that me to be a calmer and more rational one.
How do the laid back mums do it? x

I was just thinking that probably all my problems stem from reading Eat Pray Love which i am currently trying desperately to find time to read. I feel that all i want is to go off and meditate somewhere....
At the same time i know this will all pass and one day i will look sadly at the kitchen table and miss the chaos and noise. living in the now is sooo hard.x