Tell me about having a 3rd child in your 40s - good idea or bad?

[2boytantrum]

I had my 2 boys at age 35 and 37. I've just turned 42 and am wondering if it's too late to have a 3rd. Has anybody had their 3rd child this late,, or am I bonkers to even consider it?

Thanks Pixie, were you worried about anything being wrong? Did you have to have any tests or anything? And how easy was it to conceive? Many congrats on your twins btw!

I'll throw in some questions that spring to mind! Hope they help :-)

Did you always want 3 kids or is it now your youngest is schoolage that you are feeling broody? Does it feel strange to be moving on to a new chapter of life with no preschoolers?

How does your DH feel about it?

How would it affect you home/car/jobwise? Are there any big practical implications to consider?

Do your DC's have any special needs and would another child who did be an issue for you?

How is your health and energy for a pregnancy and newborn?

I know someone locally who had her first baby at 46 - she had only met her husband a little while before while he had older kids from a previous marriage. She is fit and healthy, works as a children's doctor and had no problems.

But I also know as I am almost at the end of my second pregnancy now at 35 I am hoping NOT to have any more kids - 2 is my ideal and I am sooooo tired. But I also have naturally low blood pressure and need my sleep so I know that takes its toll.

I suppose I am trying to say - depends on you and your unique situation! Maybe bonkers or maybe not ....

I was 38 and dh 44 when we had DC3. He wasn't planned, but he's an absolute joy and we wouldn't change our situation for the world. What we are finding is that although we didn't notice it when he was a baby, now that he's 3 and incredibly active, we're very tired. We're also skint, and really noticing the £500 each month in nursery fees and with the older 2 being 11 and 13 we find it hard to do things as a family, as they want different things. If we had a good family network to help out, I'm sure it would have been much easier, but as it is, this very busy stage he's at is not forever. My pregnancy and labour were very easy this time, as with the previous 2.

I'd say go for it!

All good questions Lovethesea! Haven't really broached subject with DH, although he has said in the past that he's happy with 2... No great practical implications or special needs. I think I just don't feel done yet. I always wanted a big family, but my 2nd child was so demanding and difficult that it put me off for a long time. But now he's a bit older and getting easier, I'm just scared I've left it too late. I love hearing stories of women having babies well into their 40s though,makes me feel it's still possible!

i think its wonderful....go for it.

MIL (and PIL) had their third child in their 40s, having had DH and his younger brother in their 20s and 30s. SIL was born two days before MILs 44th birthday and is now 19.

Think you need to discuss it with your DH - mine has said no way. Think also how old you will be when the third starts primary school (near 50), and when they finish university (over 60). For us the financial implications plus more importantly a dreadful 2nd pregnancy means a 3rd is unlikely. A pyschologist recently told me that research shows that 2 children families are the happiest!

whats wrong with being an older mum. If you are young at heart and have a young fresh outlook on life,i reckon when you are that bit older,you are more relaxed,less stressed and ready for children. I had mine at 33 and 38 and dont regret a thing other than the fact that my biological clock has ticked past so i cant have anymore If i could ,i would.

Ive just had my third at 40. my other two were at 32 and 35. it took a long time to convince my dh that we should have a third, and a while to conceive. I wouldnt change a thing, she is gorgeous and her brothers adore her. having said that, I am knackered, but figure I am pretty fit for my age and young at heart so what the hell!

I have a 5, 3 and nearly 1 year old - and i'm 42. i am shattered, it cant be denied, but i don't believe it has anything to do with age, just the demands of a young family. and Cranbury for your kind words about having 3 children - particularly being nearly 50 when the youngest starts school/university - who cares? I find your attitude ageist in the extreme - i am fitter than most of my friends, and take more care of myself BECAUSE i am older. If your child is loved and secure, does it matter whether the parents are older? 60 isn't exactly bathchair land, is it? Perhaps you're feeling a bit jealous because your husband says no?

OP if you are happy and healthy and in a good place, go for it. or at least dont let YOUR age hold you back. Number 3 will keep you young!

I had my first at 31 and my last at 41.
I am very happy.
It will be different for everyone but I am a much better mum this time around.
DD is such fun. I am so much more relaxed and I enjoy her more than I did the other two when I felt much more stressed aboutthe whole thing.

i agree redrobin.........other than my recent chest infection,i am fitter than my 25 year old fellow badminton players.
It is all about love ,security,calmness,knowledge,things that come with a few more years and experiences

Hi, I had my first two at 22 and 24. Divorced and remarried and had my 3rd at 32. I have hated having such a big gap and for years felt that I could not please everyone all the time. I also felt much more tired. I definitely enjoyed motherhood more in my 20s. I also love being only 40 and having a 19 and 17 year old. They love having a young mum. My mum was 42 when she had me and the generation gap was so obvious we never really had that much in common. I am 40 and an orphan, I really miss my mum she died 4 years ago at 79.

thats what i want to hear!

As this post is 11 years ago wondering if you ladies went for it and what you’d say to me now I’m 39 and considering a third child !

Well I’m just 42 and considering my 3rd “our” 1st

An old thread…. But wondered what happened!??
I have desperately wanted a third for about 5 years! (In fact for my whole life!!!!……DCs now 8 and 6) recently got pregnant, completely freaked out at the idea and then sadly miscarried. Now completely torn between just being grateful for the 2 I already have and living life to the full or trying one last time for a third before I am 40?!?!! Can’t even tell how I feel anymore. It doesn’t really feel right for my family (age combined with age gap (mainly the age gap
that bothers me) but also feel incredibly jealous whenever I hear of someone else having a baby in a similar situation! 😫