What to do about biting?

[Zarasmammy]

My 20 month old daughter has started biting and it really really hurts!!!

I have been told by my mum to bite her back, not hard but enough to let her know it hurts. But I don't want to do that.

HAs anyone got any tips of how to stop her?

Thanks!

She's causing pain and she needs to know that's out of order!

Try the naughty step/naughty chair.

It's basically a benign way of saying you've done something unacceptable and you have to pay for it.

next time she does it pretend to burst into tears! she will understand that and will feel sorry and realise what a bite does to someone (bear in mind she may also burst into tears but she probably won't do it again)

If I see DD (17 months) leaning in and looking like she might bite me I emphasize 'Ooooh kisses!' that seems to work. It gives her lots of attention but I get a wet foot/hand etc rather than tooth marks!

Maybe it's an age thing and will stop working but might be worth a try.....

DD was a biter. When she bit me through jeans and drew blood I had enough and followed your mum's advice. I didn't bite hard enough to leave marks obviously but it was enough for her to know that it's horrible. She never bit again.

I don't think you should bite her back

she's a baby FGS! You can't bite a BABY!

Agree with teh ooh kisses, or pretending to cry so she knows she hurt you (worked with my DS2)

DH told MIL and she said "ooh bite him back" and DH witheringly told her "don't be so ridiculous" while I cheered silently from teh kitchen

...and WHY would you try to stop her diong something, by doing it yourself?

It's like screeching STOP SHOUTING

MamaG - out of desperation. Tried all avenues before, believe me.

Oh, and BTW for those that are thinking I'm so terrible this was a considered decision, and I'd been asking for solutions to the problem for a while, trying them all and failing. It's not like I turned on her like some kind of demonized T-Rex and savaged her.

LOL at t rex

Sorry pennies, didn't want to make you feel bad

No worries, you didn't but I can imagine there might be some who come on here who will seriously take exception and hit me with their wrath!

Thanks for the advice. She bit me again this morning and I put her on the naughty step, ---which was hilarious!

DC4 was a biter - you have my sympathies. But absolute zero tolerance and patience is what's needed - she will grow out of it.

I just said "no biting" to ds and explained that it hurts. It took a while but he doesn't do it now (he's 22 months now)

DD1 was a prolific biter. Try not to get stressed about it as it actually is normal behaviour at this age. Infact a quarter of toddlers bite at some time or other.

I agree that you should not bite her back. You want to get across that biting in completely unacceptable behaviour in your family - children tend to copy behaviour. Strategies that worked well for us if she bit -

• Come down to her level - look her in the eye and say VERY firmly - 'Do not bite - we do NOT bite'

• Put her in the corner and ignore her then lavish attention on the bitee

• I would make her say sorry to the bitee

• I would keep a selection of her small toys in my bag and one would be given to the bitee to say sorry (this was really hard for dd to do as she loved her toys!)

• I would apologise profusely to the bitee's mother....

Also - try and keep an eye out for any actors that make her bite ie. busy toddler groups, being very tired and naggy etc. Also - watch her like a hawk while she is going through this stage - I saved many a bites by diving in and grabbing DD1

It's a horrible, horrible thing to go through as a mum. I hated it. Just to let you know that dd1 is now 3 1/2 and is an absolute dream. Beautifully behaved and considerate. People always tell me how kind and gentle she is. Little do they know of her hannibal lector past though...

i didn't want to be the first to say it but i bit dd and she never did it again (its not even a bite, more a little nip)

its about showing them what happens when they bite, not so much telling them not to do it but a lot of children at that age just honestly don't realise that it hurts, which is why my first suggestion was to burst into tears as that also shows them it hurt!
(most children don't actually want to hurt mum)