How can I help my sister?

[fadingfast]

My sister has just had her second baby, the first is only 15 months old. I'm worried about how she's going to cope, but I don't really know how I can help her. I live 1.5 hours away, work three days a week and have two dc myself. My mum lives quite near my sister, and will be around to help out but I think it will be a lot for her to cope with too.

My sister has suffered from depression in the past (not PND though). I've had friends who have had PND after their 2nd dc, and I'm really worried the same could happen to my sister. I think it is partly because I know I would have really struggled with such a close gap, and I think she is scared about how she will cope. I don't really know how I can help in practical terms.

Does anyone have any tips on coping with babies so close in age? I think it might be even harder than twins, when one is about to start walking and the other needs feeding every five minutes!

Firstly, it's going to be easier that the 15 mo will be able to walk. Having a baby who isn't quite is more of a nightmare really.
For helping her, I would perhaps have a look in the local area and online at what services there are at her local children's centre - such as breastfeeding support, baby massage classes, mums and tots groups etc. thsi could be a life line to her, especially with a busy little toddler. Babywise, at least a newborn is very portable. I would see if she can join a toddler music group for example - just so she meets mums with little ones. in the long term, a small gap is a blessing I think but yes, you're right to think she may get a bit bogged down and perhaps depressed espeically as she'll be exhausted. www.pni.org.uk is a great website for postnatal illness.
Tell her to go to the postnatal group that's run by health visitors. It gets her out of the house and meeting mums with babes of same age and they can also be a great way to make new friends. Other than that, just basic help with the housework (could you go round on one day when you're not working every now and again and blitz for her?)
You never know - it might be fine. Having two that close means that you're often so busy, there's no time to sit and get down.

Cook her some meals for the freezer. you could do that and drop them over relatively easily. I'm sure that would be very much appreciated.

yes, cook her some meals for the freezer, you could also offer to have one or both babies for 2 after noons a month etc, if you can that is.
You sound like a lovely sister BTW, can you adopt me please!? lol

I have that exact age gap. It's not as bad as you imagine

If you're far away, with your own children, then practical day-to-day help mgiht be difficult but I tell you what, my sisters have really helped me a lot by providing a listening ear, sympathy and a ready text

Tell her she's doing a great job when she finds things hard. That does help too.

Visit if you can but that's hard with children of your own.

Get her a decent sling and find some videos on youtube to show her how to use it.

If you get a stretchy wrap (e.g. a moby) or a ring sling (e.g. like this then it's possible to breastfeed the baby in the sling, if she can master this it will make her life a lot easier.

Thank you for your messages of support, it really is appreciated.

She seems to be getting on ok but I suspect is already dreading dp going back to work next week.

She has a couple of friends each with just one dc of the same age as her first, so hopefully they will be able to come round a bit and help entertain the eldest while she is seeing to the (new) baby. I will also see if she can get out to some groups.

She does have a sling but a baby bjorn rather than a ring-type sling, so probably not that great for feeding but will at least help keep her hands free.

Good idea about the cooking. The baby was two weeks early so she didn't have a chance to stock up the freezer!