Lying and Stealing

[Annex]

My 9 year old has today taken £3 from our loose change jar and then gone out and bought Match Attax cards.

She had said she had been to the library and I asked her outright if she had bought any cards and she said no.

She has since admitted what she has done. This is not the first time she has done this and I have no idea how to punish her to make her realise the seriousness of both the lying and stealing from us.

The fact that she has done this again after having promised never to do it again makes me realise that we have not dealt with it very well.

Any suggestions?

Thanks - I agree I with you - I think the banning of the cards will hopefully make her see sense.

These cards are her obsession so hopefully removing them will stop the temptation until the next thing comes along!

Who can take mony from the loose change jar? Is it family property?

A friend has suggested the pocket money route - we have been a bit lax with giving it regularly but will start it up for jobs done etc

The loose change jar is mainly for my bus fare or paying window cleaner - its just all the loose change that seems to lie around but does include pound coins.

Have decided not to let her go on a school trip next week and try and get the money back, to pay us back in a sense.

So if you need a bit of change you get it out of the jar. We have one of those too.

But is she specifically not allowed to take money out of the jar? I feel it's a bit strong to call it stealing if it's family money. It's not like taking it out of someone's purse, really is it?

Oh, and I'm really really opposed to pocket money for jobs. Pocket money is the money you need to function because we live in a society that requires money - to buy the odd Mars Bar or copy of Mizz. Jobs are things you do because you are a member of the family community. You don't set the table because you want your pocket money, you set it because it is part of getting our family meal ready.

Sorry - this is a particular hobby horse of mine!

Good points - it was a friend who suggested the job payment thing. She has always done jobs and the pocket money has always been a bit haphazard and not related to jobs, apart from big ones like cleaning out the car.

I guess if we formalise it, it will be better to help her see the value of money.

It is more the lying about the taking of the money and the spending it rather than thinking she is a potential thief.