Toddler wants to watch TV while she eats - how strict should I be?

[MonkeyChicken]

I'm not very keen on letting my DD (20 months)watch TV while she eats, I sit down with her at the table and we both eat togther for all our meals most of the time. However the last couple of weeks she has eaten very little and asks to watch the TV the whole time (we only have the one reception room and the tinest kitchen so we have to be in the same room as the TV). She has had right paddy tantrums about it. She has eaten so little that her bowl movements have become quite dry and hard and the other day they were very pale but are beginning to return to normal. If I let her watch TV she will eat most of what is put infront of her. I really don't want food to become an issue and I don't really want her eating to be dependent on TV viewing. I'm also not entirely sure if she's feeling 100% as she's had a cold/ cough for 2 weeks too. Should I just let her do what she wants as long as she's eating or should I brave it out. I'm kinda doing half and half at the mo which doesn't help.

Not sure what the general consensus will be but my gut instinct is no.

if she is generally well and a good weight surely you could do several days with her stropping / refusing to eat before it became a worry. im assuming she has access to a drink throught the day?

im lucky enough to have a seperate kitchen (where we eat) and lounge but i can understand its difficult if the TV is there. could you use the TV as a reward - eat dinner nicely and you can watch some cartoons after (thats what happens in our house) or if you dont eat nicely the TV will stay turned off.

FWIW when i have let my DS eat in front of the TV as a treat he eats so slowly his dinner goes cold. and i suppose if you allow her to eat withought thinking while gawping at the TV are you then setting her up for problems later as she will eat more than she really needs (just a thought).

dinner in our house is a social occasion where we (make an attempt) to chat about the day and plans for tomorrow.

good luck with it.

I wouldn't let her. Eating together is a social activity and a good time to communicate. I know she is only 20 months now but I really would not let her get into this habit. She won't starve herself - I think you just have to tough it out for a few days until she realises that you're not giving in.

Hi,
I would really advise against it, my step son is 6 and is basically stuck in front of the tv at home and he gets so into what he's watching that he hardly eats at all and they just take his plate off him after 30 mins or so. He is underweight and has chronic constipation as a result, we banned the tv at meal times at ours and when we have him for the weekend or week he eats loads more and his constipation clears up really quickly.
I know it is really hard when they throw tantrums but trust me, the ones my stepson threw at 4 were way bigger then your 20 month old is capable of yet if you give in now and want to ban it later you'll have bigger ones to deal with then.
Maybe try getting into a routine of mealtime, tv off and this is eating time, it may be that because you are half and half at the moment she's figuring out she gets tv if she refuses to eat so you could possibly end up with more problems in the long run also she may just be eating on auto pilot which means she's not noticing if she feels fun, just eating coz its there.
My daughter, (11 months) goes right off her food at the first sigh of feeling unwell, my health visitor said let her eat as she wants because you'll cause issues if you try and force her. She said if you don't make an issue of food you should be ok, its only if they learn that they get a reaction from you if they don't eat that they'll become bad eaters so we just give her food and then take the plate away when she's had enough, it used to worry me that she'd go hungry but she knows if she wants food and picks up again once she's over whatever bug she's picked up so as long as she gets planty of fluids I don't worry now.
Hope this is of some help and you get it sorted

nip that in the bud right now

you are in charge, not her

I only let my DS (2.1yo) eat in front of the tv if he is ill as the distraction of the tv is sometimes the only way he will eat when ill. Even then it is only snacky foods rather than meals as I certainly don't want him to associate proper meals with the tv. But otherwise no - and we always have a mini-battle to get him back to the table after he has been ill, so I know I could never let him do this as a regular thing.

Better to have the battle with her now, and be firm about it, than give in I say.

Agree with the other posters - no tv, you'll never get rid of it once you start.

Quite apart from the other points already made (most of which I agree with) in our house we restrict tv. Mainly because if it is only on for short periods then it holds their attention and is very useful if you are desperate for a break/need to nip to the loo etc.

I would say no TV whilst she is eating. It's a bad habit to get into plus if she is glued to the box she won't be aware of the feeling of natural fullness and this can encourage over-eating. Nip it in the bud.

You could make switching the tv off part of your mealtime routine. I usually let DS watch a bit of tv while I get tea ready (use it sparingly at critical moments like onepieceoflollipop does), and we then have "switch tv off, wash hands, put on bib, sit at table" as our little routine.

It's so hard not to react, it's horrible when they won't eat. I know I have to take deep breaths and repeat 'he will not starve' when DS won't eat his dinner. If we gave him pasta and tomato sauce every mealtime he would eat a ton. But we want him to have a varied diet so we just make the family meals and if he eats, fine, if not also fine .

Same principle applies with the TV. You know that after a couple of days she will realise that you won't put the TV on during dinner and resume normal eating. Just try to be calm about it. Give her 5 minutes warning before the TV goes off,then 1 minute warning, then 'TV off because it's dinner time'. Same thing as 'Hat on so we can go outside'- non negotiable.

Good luck

No, definitely don't let her eat in front of tv and don't let her watch a lot of it either. At 20 months she shouldn't have more than 1 hour a day.
She won't starve if she eats less for a few days, but she will learn that you are the boss and you make the rules.
Eating in front of tv is grim, sorry. Of course, once in a while it's fine, as a treat, but not on regular basis.

No no no to eating in front of TV

it is a time for chatting

Too many children atart school language deficient now because of time wasted in front of the goggle box

I let DS and DD eat snacks whilst watching TV but not meals.

But my stubborn streak would come out and if my DD was like yours i would not let her. She is setting the boundaries because you are wary of consequences.

Like my DD being picked up all the time cos i too scared of a paddy cos i say no.

(am only stubborn on some things, still finding energy for other stubborness on other issues )

definitely no. You eat more in front of the TV, because you're not focusing on your food. Fine now with toddler as you want them to eat more but a bad habit to get into for later in life.

Thank you so much for your posts. I'm going to try and be strict. I've been a bit weak willed as she's eaten so little and I'm hot, pregnant and a bit knackered. She doesn't watch much TV. Maybe a couple of Peppa Pigs in the morning and maybe an In the Night Garden after dinner before bath and that would be a TV heavy day. I free-sat plus stuff so I know exactly what she watches. She can easily go days without seeing any TV (normally). Meal times are the only time she asks for TV. She did used to ask for books, which again I usually relented and read to her while she ate, tricky while I was eating too. (Her bookcase is next to the table and she sits next to it so again difficult to hide.) When she was much younger I used to cover stuff up with table cloths to try and stop her getting distracted which worked, but now I think she'd think it was an elaborate game of peekaboo. Mind you trying to clear the table would prob help - our house is horribly cramped. Our second bedroom was a study before we had DD and the contents of the old study are still scattered around the house. We share our dinner table with the PC and all DH accounts currently (he's self employed). Anyway, I digress, thank you for your encouragement. No TV during meals.

Yes I think you're right. If you could manage a clear table it probably would help your DD to see that the table is for food only, not books, toys, etc.

It's been going quite well so far. We've had a few meals where she's refused to eat anything but not asked for TV. As soon as I made my mind up she stopped asking, think she could smell my indecision before.

Suggested we work towards clearing table and no longer keeping laptop on table and my DH said that was not possible.(and he's the tidy one.) He works away from home during the week and is only home 2 nights a week, so I could just take matters into my own hands - might not be very popular though!

Oo I'm a bugger for laptop on the table... but for mealtimes I snap it shut, unplug it and shove it in the other room so we have a clear table. We often listen to low music whilst we eat and even if I'm not eating with them I take this time to sit with them anyway with a drink of wine and a chat.

The laptop can then take its place on the table when mealtime is over and the table's been cleared.

"Smell the indecision" - you're SO right!