Still concerned that I did the wrong thing moving ds

[selphy]

You would think that after 18 months I would be okay by now with my decision to move ds to another school but I am still agonising.
Ds loved his infant school and had plenty of friends but when the time came for juniors I decided to move him to a junior school nearer home thought he will be okay will make plenty of freinds again and they will be closer to home as they get older.
His mates from infant school went to the juniors that is federated with his old infant school.
He still keeps in touch with a few old mates from infant school mostly with effort on my part.
Now although ds seems reasonably happy at this new junior school he just doesn,t seem to have the same connection with new friends as he did in infants with his old mates.
It has been quite hit and miss with friends in the juniors and I have had trouble working out who he is close to if anyone.
Although I think he does play with people I dont he has really made any real good friends.
There is probably only one or two that he is bothered about having on a playdate.
In school holidays, even after school he always asks for someone from his old infant school despite the fact I have tried to encourage him to have people from his new school.
Ds actually told me that his bestest mates are at the old school.
Ds also never minded going to his old infant school where as he hates going to school now.
Dh thinks I have got it all wrong he says that as they get older friendships change and they don,t always come so easily also that things were more relaxed in infant school so they rprobably got away with more.
I have had a couple of shaky moments wanting to move ds back with his old mates but dh thinks it would be the wrong thing to do as the dynamics would have changed.
I almost moved ds a few months ago took him to look at the school but he decided he wanted to stay were he was.
He gets decent reports from his new school it was mentioned that he is a popular member of the class.
I have also been told that he has settled in well.
Dh thinks I have it all out of proportion as

If I were you I would follow my instincts.

My son still likes to play with friends from his old school in the holidays, even though he moved three years ago now. I think it's nice that they have a stock of different people to spend time with. If he seems happy and settled I think I'd leave him where he is.

I think the problem when you move schools is that any old friendships are 'set in aspic' - you yourself have said that the dynamics wd have changed and I think they wd also have changed had ds gone to the school with all his friends. Also ds has said he's happy where he is when given the choice of moving back. I think that you need to stop worrying and accept where he is (and also try and put all your energies into his new school and friends as far as possible) - he's only done two terms there and it can take a long time to ' bed down'.

I think the key thing you said in your post was that you actually took your DS to the junior school where his old friends go and he decided himself that he was happy where he was. If he was really unhappy where he is wouldn't he have jumped at the chance to move? Obviously it is worrying that he says he hates school but that could be to do with the move to juniors and having to work more and play less iykwim?

I do sympathise with how you feel, I moved my DS (now in yr 3) during reception due to a fairly local house move and it was well into yr 1 and possibly year 2 before I felt he was really settled and that made me feel very guilty.

I would just say that friendships can change a lot between Infants and Juniors, even when staying with the same group. My DD went from being popular to being rather isolated.

Do try to invite boys from the new school over, try to get your son involved in after school clubs.
But if he doesn't want to move, I wouldn't worry too much.