School Trip - am I being overprotective?

[MunkyNuts]

We live in Spain and the DC started school at age 3 which is the norm here. A school trip is being organised for the children to visit a farm in a town about an hour away by coach. My DD is 5 and DS is 3.5, my gut feeling is that they are too young esp DS but most of the other parents seem fine with it, am I being over protective? They seem to get them to grow up much faster here. The other thing is that the teachers keep talking about the trip in the classroom and telling the children what they´re going to see so now I´m feeling a bit mean not letting them go. Any thoughts?

They aren't too young. ds2 is just 4 and goes on preschool trips, and trips from reception are normal here in England.

Message withdrawn

I'm in Italy, and dd was at nursery (similar to reception in the UK with regards to activities) from 3-6. The first 2 years I didn't let her go on the school trip, mainly because parents didn't go, and I didn't like the idea of a coach with no seatbelts (as is the norm here) on a motorway, and then with 60 odd small children and only 3 teachers.

Last year, her final year, it was organised differently, and one parent had to accompany the child, and I went.

It would depend for me how it's organised tbh. (and what the state of the bus is!)

Bucharest I think you´re right the safety concerns do appear to be far less rigorous than in Britain with no seat belts on the coach and they will be going on the motorway, and equally there will be few monitors to the number of children (1 or 2 per 25 children). No parents are going. I should have explained this. What surprises me is that very few other mothers express concern over this. Also it is quite a long day from 9am to around 5pm, and I can imagine that DS (3.5) might well wet his pants in that time not knowing where the loo is and he does get quite anxious with changes in his routine.

Yes, I imagined Spain would be like Italy in those respects!

I would have no qualms about it in the Uk- because I know the safety aspect would be covered, even to an excessive degree, that the adult-child ratio would be very low etc etc.

(I bet they don't bother with sunhats either? Or cream? They think I am a complete loon here!)

Nope, sunhats and cream are not even a consideration - you can spot the foreigners a mile off!

Oh dear. Well I wouldn't say I was ever so over protective but 3.5 seems a bit on the young side to go out like that on a school trip, but that's just imo and thinking back to how my dc were at that age. At 5 they'd have probably been ok if it was well organised.

The no seat belts or concerns about sun hats and sun-cream though...hmm those factors would bother me a LOT if I'm honest.

It's the same in France too - it's quite common for schools often take nursery-age children away for residential stays of 3/4 days!

Teachers insist that it is excellent for their development blah blah blah but then if Spain is anything like France, they force encourage independence from a very early age, which is fine for some (particularly the ones that have been in some form of childcare right from the start) but it doesn't suit all children.

Don't worry about depriving your DC if they don't go. It will only be talked about for a day or so afterwards, it really won't make much difference and they will quickly forget about it.

The no helpers would worry me tbh.

I thought we started thme young at school here and everywhere else started later???

Have to laugh at the difference to britain, when ds was at nursery school aged 3 we had to sign consent from for them to walk to the post box down the road , about 100 yds not crossing the road even! Must say health and safety rules hear can seem ridiculous but at least as a parent you feel their safety is being taken care of.

Crikey Castille, can´t believe they take children so young on trips for 3-4 days in France, that really does seem a bit much. I agree that it doesn´t suit all children to grow up so fast and quite frankly why should they? You spend plenty of your life having to be responsible and grown-up - it doesn´t seem right to have to rush into it. I also think you´re right about the fact that the trip will only be talked about for a day or two afterwards, I hadn´t really acknowledged that. Hopefully they won´t be holding it against me well into their teens!

GGirl you´re right the Brits really do seem a bit OTT with regards to safety but better that way round like you say.

Thanks everyone for the responses, it has really helped - instead of me mulling it over and over in my head its good to get feedback from others even if just to confirm what I was already feeling.

I've got this at the moment. ds is 3.5 and at French Maternelle. He is going on a day trip to the Natural History Museum in Paris next week. It is very different to UK, there will only be relatively few adults for all the children. I do think the UK is maybe a little over-protective at times.

I do trust his teacher and I am looking at it in a "when in France..." sort of way. All things considered it is highly unlikely there will be any problem. I must add though ds is a fairly independent sort and I think he will enjoy it (and he loves dinosaurs!)

FWIW, when DD1 was 6, her class of 5-8yos went off skiing for a week in the Pyrennees (we live in Brittany, so a long long way).

She didn't want to go and as we hadn't been back in France long we had reservations. So we decided not to send her, but we were made to feel like terribly overprotective parents by her teacher for a bit. She tried all sorts of tactics to get us to give in - she said they'd be doing a big project on the trip afterwards (they didn't) that DD would feel very out of it for weeks (she didn't) that she'd have to spend the week in a class of younger pupils (she didn't, we took her out of school and went to England instead)

Dilbertina I hope DS enjoys the dinosaurs! and I totally understand your "when in France" reasoning - sometimes you really do have to go along with things or you could end up very isolated.

Castille well done for standing by your guns, people can be very pushy at times and it sounds like your DD wouldve been miserable if she had gone and she certainly wasn´t miserable for not going.

I´ve just spoken to another Spanish parent who said his twin boys won´t be going to the farm either so now I´m not feeling so much like the over-protective Brit who´s DS will be the only one in the class not going.

Hi. I think you need to trust your gut instinct. Mine would be that your ds at 3.5yrs is too young-particularly if he can get anxious and worry re the toilet. It is also quite a long day, and I should imagine he will get a bit tired. Your dd will probably be fine and is more able to make her needs understood.
If your ds is disapointed re not going on trip, could you do something special with him that day or go as a family to the farm another day,where you will have more "control" of how the day goes.

i'd let mine go. she's nearly 4 now but would have been fine at 3.5. she'd love it.

I would have said it was fibe as ds did this with nursery and he's 1!
BUT I would not be happy about the safety issues at all and so might say no on that basis. Tough decision but might air on side of caution- or you drive her there(make up some guff about geing v travel sick on bus?) and stay and help.

Ds is 6 and has gone on days out at school. Even at 3.5 he went to a farm on a day out a t nursery. I think you are being very overprotective. what are your concerns ? i am not really sure what you are unhappy about.

"an hour is quite a long drive at 3.5" says nottired now . REALLY ? I take my 2 ds's to visit my mum regularly. she lives an hour away.

All coaches should have seatbelts by law in the EU and my experience in running school trips to Spain shows this was the norm. Its Directive 2003/20/EC.

I would suggest that as it is a farm visit that you ensure the children can either wash their hands after petting the animals or give them a Bacterial handwash gel to clean their hands with before they eat.

Oblomov I´m not sure if you´ve read my second post but my concerns were about the child-teacher ratio, the children not wearing seatbelts on coaches and that its a pretty long day from 9 to 5 for a 3 year old. The safety standards are quite different from those in the UK. But you are entitled to call me very overprotective if you think I am.

Schooltripadvisor that´s interesting that its the law to have seatbelts in coaches in Spain, I know that the children (or at least some of them) that arrive in the morning on the school coach are not wearing them. You can see them standing up at the windows or in the aisle. So I spose the worry is not whether the coaches have seatbelts but whether the children will be fastened into them.

I have to agree with nottirednow, its a different scenario being in the back of the car with Mum to being on a coach with many children and few helpers. Maybe the nursery your DS went to gave you no cause for concern but as I said they do things quite differently here.