DD and food - think I've made a right pigs ear of this ...

[FrozenNorth]

DD is 19 months and a fussy eater. I know this is my fault - she's frequently ill and I've allowed her to stay in her own food 'comfort zone' just to make sure she eats something. Her repetoire includes: pasta, bananas, raisins, tomato pasta sauce, fish fingers, bread, cereal, milk, cheese, yogurt, cereal bars, yogurt coated fruit, crackers. Oh, and pizza. She'll drink other fruit in pureed smoothie form and sometimes eats peas and sweetcorn.

I'm fully aware that this isn't a dire, my-child-only-eats-jam type scenario, but it still makes for pretty boring meals day in and day out. Would love it if she ate some other forms of protein and carbs so she could join in with more of our family meals in the week.

So, my question is: what approach do you think would work best? Go in all guns blazing, offer a completely new food (e.g. beef stew) and if refuses then offer nothing else, allowing to go hungry meal after meal until something is eventually eaten? Try and do one novel meal per day, with one tried and trusted staple for the other? Or go softly-softly and laboriously add bits and pieces to things she'll already eat e.g. peppers to pizza? She seems really neophobic at the moment but maybe that's just a toddler thing. She's a 'spirited' child (i.e. she can throw a right wobbler when she's displeased, although with some consistent ignoring she's doing this more rarely now). She can also vomit at the drop of a hat, and - despite my best efforts - knows that this winds me up (I'm emetophobic).

So, please help me even if it's just to tell me that I've created a monster and there's no going back now. I have mental images of her aged 30 and still eating storybook pasta with cheese ... !

Ugh, forgot to add the apostrophe on 'pig's ear' in my title. Sorry to any grammar pedants.

Presumably DD is healthy and not underweight with what she is eating? I would be tempted to give her more or less what the family is eating....just don't make an issue about what is on the plate.....small portions are preferable and divert attention/conversation about the food........carry on chatting about anything other than what is on the plate and good eating habits will be picked up

That sounds like typical toddler fare. They grow out of it. Stop worrying. DD lived on toast and Cheerios for about two and a half years (oh and chocolate in any form).

She's three and a half now and will eat pretty much anything.

Don't pay any heed, make the food you want to make, plonk it in front of her, eat yours (make om nom nom noises etc.) discuss anything but food and when you've finished, remove the plate from her.

Ignore any subsequent tantrums. So long as you don't pay attention to the fuss it'll stop, and she won't starve either. Remember this will pass.

Not a bad repetoire - my number one tip would be getting her together with other kids, or eating at someone else's house - more likely to be interested (takes 'battle with Mum' out of the equation. Also, make a game of it - clap and cheer deleriously whenever she so much as picks up something new and pretend to faint, my kids used to love this. I would put one tiny bit of something new on each meal if poss, and show zero anxiety about whether she has it or not (but lots of praise if she does - ask her to try it, but don't coax or get cross. I would try things almost everyone likes e.g. roast dinner, sausages, chips, baked beans - just to get the message that new things can be nice - but I think the neophobia is normal...mine ate lots of veg at that age, for example, but then reverted to suspicion of anything except peas and sweetcorn, despite my best efforts. Mine were never good with 'mixed foods' or stuff in sauces, but would eat seperate things. Sorry, rambling, hth.

Oh this sounds very familiar! My twins were a nightmare to feed up until the age of 4 (despite my best efforts to wean them on annabel karmels finest organic purees, how I regret that initial smugness now!)

I agree with other poster about getting her to eat with other children. When my two started nursery their eating improved drastically as there was no time for fussing, they simply had to eat what they were given and all the other children did too.

They are still picky eaters and still survive on the sort of mix that you describe, bread, fruit, cheese etc. But it really is a pretty healthy diet - they are all getting a proportion of carbs, fruit and protein. They have school dinners which makes me feel much better as they are having a "proper" meal each day. And they will eat what they are given at friends houses. So I think - what's really the harm? Let her eat what she eats and nursery/school will probably work wonders for her eating too.

I don't think this diet is bad at all - according to my HV, they need mostly dairy and carbs for growing at this stage (much more than we do as adults, I mean - still need fruit etc).

Have you tried her on jacket potatoes? You can mash the, um, mash (!) up with cottage cheese which she should go for with her cheesey taste buds, and give her bits of the skin to play with and eventually eat too. Then try with beans and cheese, then tuna and sweetcorn. Really good growing foods.

How about risottos too? You can make them fairly creamy with chopped up veggies in them and chopped up chicken for more protein.

Have you tried dried apricots and stuff like that too?

My mother in law always tells this story about when my other half was about 5 and all he would eat (ALL he would eat!!) was fish fingers. She worried so much and spoke to her HV about it, who said to her, "How many 21 year olds do you know who'll only eat fish fingers?!" I remind myself of that when my little one is being fussy and I have images of him being on one of those fussy eater programmes where all they eat is bread....